Quote Originally Posted by Erik Setzer View Post
I try to be nice to people, and help people, but that so often ends with bad experiences. Family members or a "friend" who come crying for help with some serious financial issue, and I help, and then they never pay back any of it, or return favors. It's an ongoing experience, I do for others and get nothing in return. I have no idea why I even try to help. Logically, it's stupid. I shouldn't. But I feel bad if I don't. Heck, I feel bad if I even think to myself that I don't want to sit on the computer and talk to someone while playing games (especially as it's probably hurting my health)... but then I realize they probably need someone to talk to and keep them from feeling bad, so I just tough it out anyway.
I try to be a good person, but I know I'm not. I can't be. If so many people hate you and hardly anyone likes you and no one, not even your family, loves you, then how good can you be? And there, I find myself thinking again... would the negatives caused by removing such wrongness from the world be worse than the positives it'd bring? Surely the net positive would be worth it?
Erik, I know I've disagreed with things you have said here on BOLS before, but on the whole I definitely respect your posts, and I can't read this without seeing the contradiction you yourself have just posted. See the quotes above (there is more in the first part you wrote too). Your worth isn't only measured by how others treat you.

I appreciate that you did start by saying how you dislike medication and and medical environments, but some of the things you are working through alone (or near alone, this friend sounds like a true friend) are things that talking therapies can help a lot with. It would probably require spending a good deal of time in setting you are not comfortable with though, so I can understand you not wanting to engage with that, but don't rule it out. I'm not sure what the provision is like in the US either though.