Stupidest things said over a games table

[eldargal]

Does anyone else encounter stuff like this:

A couple of our groups younger members:
"Dude, thats AP14."
"Isn't"
"Look, it says here in the codex, its AP14"
"F*CK YOU, YOUR MUMS AP14!"
"Fair point, well made"

The funniest part, they are brothers, and their mum plays (the dreaded Hive Fleet Chlamydia) and biffed them both on the head after.

:rolleyes:

[Aldramelech]

"Right then, anything but a 1"

Even said it myself a few times:)

[harrybuttwhisker]

"what are they doing there?" pointing at unit in the middle of opponents army.

"they're protecting my flanks"

:slaps forehead:

luckily it wasn't me playing otherwise I would have lost due to wetting myself.

"im firing my stealth suits ok" of which there were five

"so thats 45 shots"

"if you say so"

the idiot on both occasions was the same.

[bad moon on afull moon]

ok, iv heard quite a few of the younger kids at my FLGS say that 'all my guard have lascannons' :eek:

[SotonShades]

"Do you want to play my Orcs and Goblins against your Space Marines?"

I'm pretty sure the kid had assumed 40k and fantasy were the same, just with different models... I wish I could say this was an isolated incident :(

[Cossack]

The best for me was during the very first edition of Warhammer. I had an English War of the Roses army and put some Knights and Longbowmen out to play in a large, multi-player game. This kid next to me said I should count my archers as Elves, because "It is a proven fact that the Elven Longbow is better".

[Rusty Nail]

Playing at one table when all I hear floating across from another RPG table

"Right you also get the Gang***g Bonus"

My reply

"I'm playing the wrong game"

[Melissia]

Absolute dumbest thing I've heard over the table was "she's just a girl, go easy on her"...

[david5th]

" my land raider counts as a Rhino, i forgot to bring it."

" Okay fine."

couple of turns into the game

" you can't shoot that, you cant see it."

" i can."

" no it's a rhino. "

[Lerra]

ok, iv heard quite a few of the younger kids at my FLGS say that 'all my guard have lascannons' :eek:

One of the top players at my store is constantly getting his names mixed up. He'll mix up Lascannon and Lasgun, Assault Cannon and Autocannon, etc. The mix ups have gotten contagious to the point that 15-year veteran are mixing them up, too.

He's in my DnD group, and you should see the havoc he wrecks on NPC names :P

[Melissia]

Yeah, but I don't really think that's stupid-- it's like dyslexia or mathlexia, it's something that some people just aren't built to remember. Just correct them and move on.

[Dr. Doctor]

"You know that the plastic GW uses for their stuff has an oxidizer in it. One time I had to throw a chimera into a snow bank just to put out the fire."

-Friend on constructing terrain

"I CANNOT PENETRATE!"

-Some kid attacking one of my tanks in an apocalypse match

[Gotthammer]

Anyone who says that their army is "versing" another one. Ugh.

[Melissia]

Lol, this is true. "To verse" is related to poetry... "versus" is a preposition, not a verb.

[Kirsten]

The many hundreds of players who fire 'ordinance'

space lawyers ho.

As a chaos space marine champion powerfists my dreadnought: 'ooh, grab him by the dreadnuts' 'cough'

Also, the kid I played against once some years ago who claimed authoritatively that thunderhawk gunships could only fire their dorsal cannon once, not once per game, but once ever.

[Sangre]

"OK, I fire my lascannon. Through that unit, and that unit, and that unit. 2 to wound."

Sure, kid. Sure.

[Chris Copeland]

We were playing Revolt on Antares, a strategy game by TSR...

My Brother: I'll attack this unit from this hex... and this one... and this one! (Roll... roll... roll...) Oh yeah! John, roll the counter attacks!

John Ray: Are you sure?

My Brother: Yes, damn it, roll 'em!

John Ray: OK... (roll... roll... roll...) Yer right, Jess... you destroyed 'em.

My Brother: I just attacked my own unit, didn't I? Crap!!!

[Commissar Lewis]

"Alright, this one surviving Guardsman is going to assault that Demon Prince."
- Me


Hey, I was listening to Eye of the Tiger at the time. However, I ended up killing that DP. He only had 2 wounds left.

[Connjurus]

"Alright, this one surviving Guardsman is going to assault that Demon Prince."
- Me


That's not stupid, that's the stuff of legends.

[scadugenga]

That's not stupid, that's the stuff of legends.

Agreed. :)


As for stupidest things heard over the table--I can't say I've experienced much of that, thankfully.

Though irritating things... that would have to be just about every overdone Monty Python quote out there. /twitch

[Melissia]

That's not stupid, that's the stuff of legends.

Even better?

Sometimes... it works.

[DarkLink]

The most stupid thing I've done is insist that Ahriman couldn't use multiple psychic powers. Yeah, I wasn't paying attention on that one.

[Connjurus]

The most stupid thing I've done is insist that Ahriman couldn't use multiple psychic powers. Yeah, I wasn't paying attention on that one.

I would've had to make sure to then summarily use Gift of Chaos three times every turn until I'd turned your whole army into spawn.

[Connjurus]

Even better?

Sometimes... it works.

Oh, definitely. Like the time my last surviving firewarrior charged into a squad of Black Templar Assault Marines and proceeded to spend the rest of the game locked in combat.

Assault Marines: 0
Firewarrior Shas'ui: 4

That's right. He killed five of them. He got a cape, a second shoulder pad, and a black templar power sword in its scabbard to go across his back. That's how awesome it was.

[Sister Rosette Soulknyt]

At our local gaming store monthly 40k tournament day.
kid as he pulls out his 40k army "are we playing 40k today?"

[The Imperator]

"I've decided im going to start a necron army!":D

[CitizenZero]

Some of my favorites:

"That's broken."

"Man, you are so lucky!"

[Chris Copeland]

One thing you hear a lot of gamers say around here when they encounter an uber-powerful unti or some combo they didn't expect is, "That's gay!"

Example: a Blood Angel dread has fleet... the ork player didn't expect it (having never seen a fleet dreadnought before). The BA dread goes on a rampage killing scads of orks...

Ork player: Dude, that fleet dread is GAY!
BA player: I agree! It's totally gay! I just pwned you!

I always chuckle when I hear younger players say this. They don't seem to be saying it with any malice like one might have heard a generation ago. It's almost like listening to the characters from South Park talk.

So as far as I can tell, gay means "super powerful" around the 40k table tops around here!

[BlacknightIII]

"I've decided im going to start a necron army!":D

Saying it isnt stupid its just a joke!
Doing it is very stupid.
Making it so you either win or draw 90% of the time, now thats a miracle.

For me the dumbest thing said was
"Your bringing Necrons to the 'Ard Boyz?! Your gonna get crushed!"

I took 2nd place :P

[Kelbor hal]

"Okay, now I'm gonna' penertrate your rear armour!"

I was uncomfortable standing up for the next few hours :D.

[Melissia]

"Okay, now I'm gonna' penertrate your rear armour!"

I was uncomfortable standing up for the next few hours :D.

That was funny, not stupid :D

[tyrant of khador]

I once watched 2 guys playing 40k ( like no one has heard that before) dude 1 was destroying dude 2 for the simple fact he was rolling horrible. After dude2 fired his vindicator scoring 9 hits against a tactical squad he rolls to wound and rolled all 1's! The dude grabs his dice as if he's gonna throw them then yells out " That's it! I'm going home to beat my wife!" We all looked at him with concern as he smiles and says "thank god I have a girlfriend instead"

[thelonegrif]

Most Germans think I'm talking about a unit that isn't on the table when I say "I'm gonna shoot your dreadnough with my wraith lord's bright lance" they just look at me funny for a second then I tell them Cybot the usual reply is "Ack So" one time it was "vas??" (german for what) gotta love the language barrier

[RocketRollRebel]

"good!! I wanted you to kill that! It was a distraction anyway!"

Dude who just lost all his long range anti-tank in one turn when playing against my mech IG :p

[Chris Copeland]

During a Magic the Gathering game:

"Sometimes I put in extra cards so I have stuff to discard when I'm trying to get to the important cards."

My gaming group is STILL laughing about that one and we stopped playing Magic YEARS ago...