They don't know they're born, tcoch!

[Mr Mystery]

Yep. Time for a silly thread.

For the benefit of the younger crowd, tell us of the dark days of GW, when nothing was as simple as it seemed.

Here's one to kick you off.

Kids today. They don't know they're born. Gaw, when I was knee high to a Gobbo, painting guides were uphill struggles through four mile of snow, and uphill both ways. You and your fancy YouTube videos with clear and precise demonstrations. All I got was close to what follows.

Step 1. Undercoat white!
Step 2. Basecoat with Terracota
Step 3. Now your model is a nicely shaded and highlighted blue.
Step 4. Collect your Golden Demon.

Don't. Know. They're. Born.

[Asymmetrical Xeno]

You've been drinking, haven't you?

[Erik Setzer]

You've been drinking, haven't you?

I mean, bloody 'eck, I've been drinking a wee bit myself, and I'm about as old of a fart as he is, but I still don't quite get what he's getting at here? I think I was following right up to the steps part. And the whole "don't know they're born" bit?

But hey, on the subject of painting guides, it's amazing to look back at my old How to Paint Citadel Miniatures and see all kinds of various painting techniques shown off and ideas for converting models and all, and now it seems like all of the painting articles are exact instructions on how to paint models, with specific colors and even the brushes. I guess that's nice if you want to paint exact copies of the army of the month, but it's a bit stifling for creativity, eh?

Similarly, I remember so many guides on how to make homemade terrain. Terragenesis was an awesome website for that, but even GW would give you hints on how to scratch-build stuff. From Pringles (or any other crisps that come in such) cans towers to using the old foam trays models came in as the basis for ruined buildings, there was so much you could do. Chop up a cereal box and make huts with thatched roofs! And on and on. Now it's just "buy this premade terrain, paint it, and only use the officially labeled stuff we sell."

Oi, now I'm feeling way too old. Think I'll have a few more nips of the good stuff. (Or as good as I could afford. Bloody bills.)

[Mr Mystery]

You've been drinking, haven't you?

Not last night, no :p

[grimmas]

Good one on the painting guides they did used to make me chuckle how they'd have a mysterious "fine highlights and details stage" where a model would suddenly transform from being shaded and dry brushed to bring an eavy Metal paint display piece with no explanation.

I'd also add vehicles there was a period if it wasn't based on a Rhino chassis you were Scratch building it (unless you'd bought a shed load of the mysteriously limited Land Raide or Battlewagon runs)

And we had to make our own shades and only layer paints and it was often the case you'd buy two of the same paint and they'd be different colours.

And last but not least they actually release all the miniatures for the armies

[Lord Manton]

18682

[Mr Mystery]

But hey, on the subject of painting guides, it's amazing to look back at my old How to Paint Citadel Miniatures and see all kinds of various painting techniques shown off and ideas for converting models and all, and now it seems like all of the painting articles are exact instructions on how to paint models, with specific colors and even the brushes. I guess that's nice if you want to paint exact copies of the army of the month, but it's a bit stifling for creativity, eh?



Kind of - but then the modern painting guides excel at showing the technique in a way the old ones never did.

For example, blending.

For years, I thought it involved actually blending the paint on the models as you transitioned between shades and colours. I think you can all guess just how well that worked out for me.

Now of course? Start with your base colour. Mix in a bit of the next one, apply a thin coat. Rinse and repeat two or three times, adding more of the 'final' shade, and painting slightly less of the area already covered. And allow to dry between coats.

Oh gods I just had a totally unheralded flashback to trying to build the metal Hive Tyrant that later came out as the current plastic kit.

It was bad enough my own one near reduced me to tears. But working for GW at the time? Dozens of them. DOZENS.

[Jared van Kell]

The Hive Tyrants were bad enough but the Carnifexes........................(shudders).

JvK :cool:

[grimmas]

18683

These fu*kers.


And these

18684


And metal models with plastic arms, never mind *****ing about the psychic phase how about the sticking the arms back on your army phase.

[Mr Mystery]

How about plastic models with metal arms, weapons, backpacks and ammo feeds.

Yes Space Marine Devastators. I do mean you. You and your overbalancing, falling over, smashy smashy ruiny paintjob antics.

Just plastic/metal kits. So glad to see the back of those!

[Path Walker]

Putting together the Silver Tower models last night, man, the plastics GW are doing right now would blow my 12 year old mind. I remember when the plastic Saurus Warriors were the most impressive thing I'd ever seen!

18685

- - - Updated - - -


How about plastic models with metal arms, weapons, backpacks and ammo feeds.

Yes Space Marine Devastators. I do mean you. You and your overbalancing, falling over, smashy smashy ruiny paintjob antics.

Just plastic/metal kits. So glad to see the back of those!

They were so terrible, even getting them to line up was a nightmare.

[Cactus]

For both 40k and Fantasy, I could go to my flgs, buy 10 blisters, then spend the next 5 minutes bending tabs into slotta bases with needle-nose pliers and be ready for my game.

Also, I would write out by hand the stats of my models into my army roster. It really helped to learn the stats of all of my models and I never had to go check the initiative of some random character.

[Mr Mystery]

18683

These fu*kers.


And these

18684


And metal models with plastic arms, never mind *****ing about the psychic phase how about the sticking the arms back on your army phase.

Also, *anything* with metal wings. 'Orrid kits to put together.

though it did once involve a hated store manager drilling into his thumb and the bit snapping off....so not all bad.

[grimmas]

Also, *anything* with metal wings. 'Orrid kits to put together.

though it did once involve a hated store manager drilling into his thumb and the bit snapping off....so not all bad.


Balrog!!!!!!!

Thankfully they did stick the resin wings in the end but I was treated to the diabolical metal ones.

[Path Walker]

Kids these days probably don't even know how to use a pin vice.

[Erik Setzer]

How about plastic models with metal arms, weapons, backpacks and ammo feeds.

Yes Space Marine Devastators. I do mean you. You and your overbalancing, falling over, smashy smashy ruiny paintjob antics.

Just plastic/metal kits. So glad to see the back of those!

I have a bunch of those my dad bought that are still sitting in a plastic case waiting to be assembled. Sure, I could use more heavy weapons (because deploying a whole company of Devastators sounds like wholesome fun), but I loathe having to assemble more of those things. Ditto for older Chaos heavy weapons.

Oooo, how about the metal bodies and weapons, but plastic arms?

[Mr Mystery]

It's not for me to judge if anyone had a hard time, but I always found those reasonably easy? The whole weight issue at least didn't come into it. It was just lining them up which I've always had a knack for.

[Kirsten]

unit of metal nid gargoyles and metal hurricane bolter sponsons on a land raider.

[Erik Setzer]

It's not for me to judge if anyone had a hard time, but I always found those reasonably easy? The whole weight issue at least didn't come into it. It was just lining them up which I've always had a knack for.

They weren't always molded quite right to fit, so you'd have to jostle around some of them to make them work right, while trying to apply the appropriate types of glue (shoulder pad to arm required plastic for the best bond, but arm to body and weapon to shoulder pad required super glue). Maybe it was just doing larger groups of them that caused the most annoyance. (Old school Ork heavy weapons units and Lootas... no shoulder pad issue, but still having to glue the arm on and hope it was in the right position for the weapon.)

[Insert_nickname_here]

Night Goblin netters. My compooter - fu is unable to post a picture, but suffice to say the model was of a 3ft goblin swinging a 6ft net up behind him. And they were to be ranked up. On a 20mm base.

[Mr Mystery]

hurricane bolter sponsons on a land raider.hurricane bolter sponsons on a land raider.hurricane bolter sponsons on a land raider.hurricane bolter sponsons on a land raider.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Ebxx4lZ4830/Ud8PQ0NEBjI/AAAAAAAAG9c/yh76Sl0I4Bk/s1600/eye+twitch.gif

[Kirsten]

exactly

[Mikhail233]

The worst for me was the metal gargoyles, not the assembly but the fact that they only came in blister packs of 2 for 20 NZD and a minimum squad was 16 models

[Morgrim]

Trying to put together Vect's Dias of Destruction. You'd get an ordinary plastic ravenger kit, which is already fiddly to put together, and then a bunch of metal components. They did not fit on the plastic kit. The (rather vague) instructions told you to saw out holes in the plastic of the right size to fit the metal parts, without giving you a good indication of how and where.

I helped build one for someone else, never had one of my own, alas, so I can't take photos of that join. Thankfully I am good at greenstuffing up all the gaps and covering in fake details to hide the dodgy bits.

[Asymmetrical Xeno]

Trying to put together Vect's Dias of Destruction. You'd get an ordinary plastic ravenger kit, which is already fiddly to put together, and then a bunch of metal components. They did not fit on the plastic kit. The (rather vague) instructions told you to saw out holes in the plastic of the right size to fit the metal parts, without giving you a good indication of how and where.

That sounds f**king horrible. You have a lot more patience than I do lol

[Mr Mystery]

http://images.dakkadakka.com/gallery/2010/11/9/153901_md-Chaos%2C%20Chaos%20Dwarves%2C%20Hellcannon%2C%20Wa rhammer%20Fantasy.JPG

http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/Tobey-McGuire-As-Peter-Parker-Breaks-Down-Crying-In-Spider-Man.gif

[Kirsten]

metal dark elf hydra, and the wings on the old 5th edition zombie dragon, and trying to build a war wagon when I was about 13.

[Mr Mystery]

Metal Dark Elf Hydra?

Which one! I had....erm....three, I think?

[Kirsten]

18690

[Asymmetrical Xeno]

Metal Dark Elf Hydra?

Which one! I had....erm....three, I think?

Three heads you mean? :P

[Path Walker]

Oh god, the metal forest dragon. THE METAL FOREST DRAGON.

[grimmas]

18691


Yep that's right you had to make the wing membranes.

[Psychosplodge]

In my day you had to walk t'mill uphill both ways in snow, setting off 'fore you'd gone t'bed for hayp'nny bit a day, twenty five hours a day eight days a week. And then when you'd saved. you'd got the arms glued on your Bjorn. You dropped the great big weight on your bloody foot.

[CoffeeGrunt]

I'm glad I was too poor to afford Warhammer until it all became plastic. :P

[Psychosplodge]

I still have that bjorn. You could probably kill someone with it.

[Mr Mystery]

Put it in a Verruca Sock (nice and wipe clean) and clobber someone with it.....the perfect crime....*


*Mystery Industries do not endorse violence of any kind except against miniature army men types, and bear no responsibility for you being stupid enough to follow our advice

[Path Walker]

Lookit this ****er. Look at its thin, writing neck. Realise one of the neck joins was at the top, meaning a joint had to support the weight of that massive head. Which is couldn't, so it'd break off and smash against the table. Then the tail would collapse.

18694

Picture was found on this ancient relic: http://www.angelfire.com/games2/warham40k

[Psychosplodge]

And that's why I didn't play fantasy at all back then. Cause if you couldn't actually field your dragon what was the point?

[Mr Mystery]

https://www.games-workshop.com/en-GB/Sisters-of-Battle-Exorcist

Because some times, your Artillery might need to a pop a wheelie. And by pop a wheelie, I of course mean over balance backwards and fall off the board.

https://www.games-workshop.com/en-GB/Sisters-of-Battle-Penitent-Engine

These however......yeesh.

[Psychosplodge]

2Ps may or may be glued under my devastators to keep them stable.

[CoffeeGrunt]

Ooooh, the Exorcist. Local Sisters player brought one down. I, being the clumsy sod that I am, accidentally knock it off the table, (it being a top-heavy lump of metal with a smooth plastic bottom on a smooth plastic table didn't help.) Worst part is that I instinctively reach out to catch it and end up smacking it against the side of the table. The entire top assembly fell to pieces. :|

[Mr Mystery]

Former staffer and local Sister's player filled his with sand.

No. Really. He did.

Worked though - but required periodic top ups, as the sand had a habit of leaking out.

[Path Walker]

Model Train Shops sell a thing called Liquid Gravity, its basically little balls of lead in a pourable resin, its great

[Mr Mystery]

Can't sell that round here. The local oiks would probably try smoking/injecting/sniffing/all three it.

[Morgrim]

I've got one of the 'newer' metal dark elf hydras, currently being used as my cronos pain engine. (I'm in the process of sculpting armour all over it and Dinobot-style headguns.) I gave up on pinning the thing because the pins need to be as least a centimetre deep to hold that much metal. I've glued it together with two-part epoxy glue instead. Seems to be working well.

[Psychosplodge]

Most of my metal models ended up with two part epoxy on. Handy gap filler as well when it sets.

[Kirsten]

yeah my war wagon ended up with araldite to glue it together, super glue just didn't cut it.

any of the old metal dragons really, the high elf and dark elf ones were a nightmare too. I made all three elf types, sucker for punishment that I am.

[Mr Mystery]

On the subject of metal models.....

Having to figure it out for yourself that many still have mould release agent on them, which mucks up your gluing attempts.

Many hours of wailing and gnashing of teeth could've been saved.

[Psychosplodge]

What? I never realised this. This explains everything.

[Mr Mystery]

Yup. Treat it like Resin and you'll get on a bit better.

- - - Updated - - -

Oooh! Oooh! MISS! ME MISS! MISS! ME! ME!

Remembered another one....

Metal/plastic Hybrid blisters (and funnily enough, Genestealer Hybrids at that) coming with the wrong arms - without the relevant WD, we had no idea.

Should've had this sprue

http://www.westgamer.com/images/trading/arms.jpg

Came with these arms

http://store.wargamingtrader.com/system/files/imagecache/product_full/i780%20-%20Rogue%20Trader%20Imperial%20Guard%20Command%20x %2010%20-%201988%20%20%20%20%2012-05-2.jpg

[Erik Setzer]

I still have that bjorn. You could probably kill someone with it.

Ditto all the old SM Dreadnoughts. Love it. Brought in one of mine to show off at the 30th anniversary event, to let people see how hefty those things were.

[Asymmetrical Xeno]

Tzeentch Flamers were evil to put together too, the arms and bits always fell off. Always had to keep repairing them. I cried tears of oil when they replaced them with the plastic ones.

[Morgrim]

Tzeentch Flamers were evil to put together too, the arms and bits always fell off. Always had to keep repairing them. I cried tears of oil when they replaced them with the plastic ones.

I completely gave up on those arms. There is a problem with the model when it's quicker to drill a hole in the arm socket, glue in a twisted paperclip, and sculpt some new greenstuff arms.

[Da Gargoyle]

"And if you tell that to the kids of today, they'd never believe you", Python has a lot to answer for, ... and probably would be the most terrifying and lethal threat the Imperium ever knew. Inquisitors would go mad on the implications, Adepts and servitors would implode on the logic, and the Emperor would kack himself to death on the throne.