Cool Quotes

[Brakkart]

I thought a fun idea for a thread would be one in which to post cool quotes from... well anything really, be it movies, tv, novels, comics whatever takes your fancy. Here's a few of my favourites to get the ball rolling:

Gotrek Gurnisson - Trollslayer
"The first one to harm the manling dies instantly... the second I'll take my time over!"

Edmund Burke
"The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing"

Ghostbusters
Dr Ray Stantz: Gozer the Gozerian... good evening. As a duly designated representative of the City, County and State of New York, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin or to the nearest convenient parallel dimension.
Dr. Peter Venkman: [Sarcastically] That oughta do it. Thanks very much, Ray.
Gozer: [Evil voice] Are you a God?
Dr Ray Stantz: [Peter nods] No.
Gozer: Then... DIE!
[Electrocutes the Ghostbusters; pushing them to the edge of the apartment building; people screaming in the street below]
Winston Zeddemore: Ray, when someone asks if you're a God, you say "Yes"!

Casino Royale
Vesper Lynd: It doesn't bother you; killing all those people?
James Bond: Well I wouldn't be very good at my job if it did.

Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
Padmé Amidala: So this is how liberty dies... with thunderous applause.

Doctor Who - Doomsday
Cyber Leader: Dalek's be warned, you have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war, this is pest control.
Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen, how many are you?
Dalek Sec: Four.
Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with ONE Dalek! You are superior in only one respect.
Cyber Leader: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying!

The Dark Knight
Lucius Fox: Let me get this straight. You think that your employer, one of the wealthiest, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a vigilante who is spending his nights running around the city beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands. And your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck.

Babylon 5
Cmdr. Jeffrey Sinclair: Ask ten different scientists about the environment, population control, genetics, and you'll get ten different answers, but there's one thing every scientist on the planet agrees on. Whether it happens in a hundred years or a thousand years or a million years, eventually our Sun will grow cold and go out. When that happens, it won't just take us. It'll take Marilyn Monroe, and Lao-Tzu, and Einstein, and Morobuto, and Buddy Holly, and Aristophanes, and all of this - all of this - was for nothing. Unless we go to the stars.

The Order of the Stick Webcomic
Vaarsuvius: 'I am capable of rearranging the fundamental building blocks of the universe in under six seconds with enough time left over to move 30 feet. I am capable of manipulating matter and energy on a subatomic level by speaking. A mere flick of my finger is sufficient to alter the gravitational pull of the planet. I shelve physics texts under "Fiction" in my personal library! I consider the Laws of Thermodynamics loose guidelines at best! In short, I am grasping the reins of the universe's carriage, and every morning I wake up, look to the heavens, and shout "Giddy up, boy!" You may never grasp the complexities of what I do, but at least have the courtesy to feign something other than slack-jawed oblivion in my presence. I, sir, am a wizard, and I break more natural laws before breakfast than of which you are even aware!'

Rome
Titus Pullo: 'THIRTEEN!!'

[Psychosplodge]

"Pretty. What do we blow up first?"
―Wraith Squadron motto, first coined by Myn Donos



“Life is simple," I said. "Ale, women, sword, and reputation. Nothing else matters.”

“Every day is ordinary, until it isn't.”

"Wyrd biõ ful ãræd."

“Five things make a man happy,” I told him, “a good ship, a good sword, a good hound, a good horse, and a woman.”
“Not a good woman?” Finan asked, amused.
“They’re all good,” I said, “except when they’re not, and then they’re better than good.”

“I am no Christian. These days it does no good to confess that, for the bishops and abbots have too much influence and it is easier to pretend to a faith than to fight angry ideas. I was raised a Christian, but at ten years old, when I was taken into Ragnar’s family, I discovered the old Saxon gods who were also the gods of the Danes and of the Norsemen, and their worship has always made more sense to me than bowing down to a god who belongs to a country so far away that I have met no one who has ever been there. Thor and Odin walked our hills, slept in our valleys, loved our women and drank from our streams, and that makes them seem like neighbours. The other thing I like about our gods is that they are not obsessed with us. They have their own squabbles and love affairs and seem to ignore us much of the time, but the Christian god has nothing better to do than to make rules for us. He makes rules, more rules, prohibitions and commandments, and he needs hundreds of black-robed priests and monks to make sure we obey those laws. He strikes me as a very grumpy god, that one, even though his priests are forever claiming that he loves us. I have never been so stupid as to think that Thor or Odin or Hoder loved me, though I hope at times they have thought me worthy of them.”

Uthred of Bebbanburg



"Your whole view of the world changes when you’ve killed someone for money. You can solve anything through murder. Someone shoves you in the street, you can follow them all day until they’re alone in a darkened stairwell–and pop! Problem solved. Someone short-changes you or doesn’t pay up, you could wait for them, and pop! Problem solved. When you killed someone for money, you realized that the world was just a ****ing machine. Push here, something happens. Pull here, something happens. Push and pull in a coordinated sequence, and you could make just about anything happen."

He nodded. “I am quality. I do work needs to be done. They call me the Poet.”
I raised an eyebrow theatrically. “Bull****. I’ll bet you anything you like not one person has ever called you the Poet unless you had a knife up their ***.” I pointed a finger at him. “I will call you Nancy.”

"I didn’t want to kill her; she was just doing her job. But she was standing between me and the rest of my miserable life, so she was going to have to take a bullet."

"I decided to irritate him, on the premise that it couldn’t make my situation any worse."

Avery Cates



"If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed."

Sylvia Plath



"Admiral, I recommend we get our intelligence officer up here to see if he can craft lovely poems for the singing spider wolves."
Captain Desjani, The Lost Fleet

"someday there might have been the patter of the feet of little green-haired future intelligence officers"
Captain Desjani or Admiral Geary - I can't remember

There are two things that worry me the most…
….The first of those things is the great minds at fleet headquarters and whatever they might decide is a good idea. The second thing is bored Marines and what they might decide is a good idea.
Admiral Geary



Cocktail hour at the embassy consisted of lots of charming men and women in suits and LBDs drinking Buck’s Fizz and being friendly to one another, and so what if half of them had gill slits and dorsal fins under the tailoring, and the embassy smelled of seaweed because it was on an officially derelict oil rig in the middle of the North Sea, and the Other Side has the technical capability to exterminate every human being within two hundred kilometers of a coastline if they think we’ve violated the Benthic Treaty?

Then, when he’s sure I’m as desperate as he is, he climbs on top of me and we mate like frenzied forty-year-old mammals who know it might be their last time ever.

I wasn’t expecting a stealth, supersonic, vertical take-off submarine fuelled by the eerily whistling ghosts of necromantically murdered dolphins.

-Dr Mo O'Brien
The Annihilation Score, Charles Stross



but I find her personality annoying. It’s like being molested by a sleeping bag that speaks in Comic Sans with little love-hearts over the I’s.

Look do you really want a detailed description of two sex robots going at it like a pair of bonobos on day release from celibacy camp in front of an audience of jaded aristocrats?
What was that? You’ll have to speak up. I can’t quite hear you, you’ll have to try not to breathe so hard -
What are you - some kind of voyeur? **** off!

- Saturn's Children, Charles Stross



I only had the one computer, and now it’s all broken and covered in blood and bits of the giant isopod from hell.(****ing netbooks; you can’t even use one to beat an alien brain parasite to death without it breaking.)

I hand Persephone the Forbidden Room card and keep Room Not Found for myself. She looks at me oddly
- Bob Howard, The Apocalypse Codex, Charles Stross



That golden age that nobody noticed was happening at the time; I mean that long decade between the fall of the Wall and the fall of the Towers.
If you wish to be pedantically exact about it, those retrospectively blessed dozen years lasted from the chilly, fevered central European night of November the 9th, 1989 to that bright morning on the Eastern Seaboard of America of September 11th, 2001. One event symbolised the lifted threat of a worldwide nuclear holocaust, something which had been hanging over humanity for nearly forty years, and so ended an age of idiocy. The other ushered in a new one.
- Transition, Iain Banks



The chances are I broke my hip engaging in vigorous and empty sex that I was too old for anyway

Cut me some slack, here,” Said Falk. “They shot me in the ****ing head, okay? It’s hard to concentrate.

The problem with giving someone a nickname based on an item of clothing was that it became less and less appropriate the better you got to know them. Her name was already starting to eclipse his tag for her.
He realised he could never really think of her as green hiker girl again now that he’d seen her naked.

-Embedded, Dan Abnett

[Mud Duck]

"There is no problem that can't be solved with the proper application of high explosives."

"Breeches love Bangalores!"

"P for plenty."

Combat Engineer words of wisdom

[Asymmetrical Xeno]

“Sitting there on the heather, on our planetary grain, I shrank from the abysses that opened up on every side, and in the future. The silent darkness, the featureless unknown, were more dread than all the terrors that imagination had mustered. Peering, the mind could see nothing sure, nothing in all human experience to be grasped as certain, except uncertainty itself; nothing but obscurity gendered by a thick haze of theories. Man's science was a mere mist of numbers; his philosophy but a fog of words. His very perception of this rocky grain and all its wonders was but a shifting and a lying apparition. Even oneself, that seeming-central fact, was a mere phantom, so deceptive, that the most honest of men must question his own honesty, so insubstantial that he must even doubt his very existence.”
― Olaf Stapledon, Star Maker (AKA the best SF author of all time)

[CoffeeGrunt]

"Anyone who must say 'I am the King' is no king." - Tywin Lannister

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things." - Tyrion Lannister

[Gotthammer]

Everyone says love hurts, but that is not true. Loneliness hurts, rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all the pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt.

-Liam Neeson

http://67.media.tumblr.com/9dcab64391a1c74ef3ed3f8eefbdff45/tumblr_o5zqfvUyuQ1rblazuo1_1280.jpg



My feminism has nothing to do with men. It is not defined as “equality for all genders”. It isn’t even about equality. I don’t want to be equal with men because I don’t like or want this patriarchy men have. My feminism is about liberation for all women, and an end of the oppression of all women, including women of color, immigrants, lesbians, and trans women. It is about equity- doing what is necessary to ensure everyone has a quality standard of life, has their human rights respected, and is free from oppression. I am not into definitions of feminism that are aimed at making feminism appear non-threatening to men. It IS threatening to them, and it should be.

-Havlová


Now I know logically it is historically impossible for Benjamin Franklin to have been a hentai enthusiast but have you seen a picture of the man



And in time it came to pass that Leonardo DiCaprio, who was already a millionaire, won his meaningless bobblehead for playing pretend in some snow. And the LORD spake then unto the people, saying: “Lo, I have granted thy prayers: be content therefore, and obey the LORD thy God, and make no more memes.”

But the people were foolish and sinful, having made idols of the Meme, and heeded not the voice of the LORD: and the new memes were plentiful and did multiply. And the LORD spake unto them again, saying “Please, stop: this hath not been funny since like 2013, if then.” But the people ignored him, for they were on their phones, tweeting #FINALLY LOL 😂😂😂😂. And the LORD regretted then that he had made man: and wise men likewise regretted that they had been made.


http://67.media.tumblr.com/4613f3028a194b8e50d551337f09337b/tumblr_nscehigdDv1qzq48ko1_500.png



Villain: *slices off piece of apple with sharp knife and eats it. With a smug and sinister smile he paces the floor*
Hostages: *wait in fearful silence, anticipating villain's first lines*
Villain: mmmm tasty apple me likey

-Action movie

[Psychosplodge]

Now I know logically it is historically impossible for Benjamin Franklin to have been a hentai enthusiast but have you seen a picture of the man




OK I lol'd so loud the office girl stuck her head out the office. You won the thread.

[Mr Mystery]

Every line of every Discworld book ever.

Sir Terry Pratchett.

[Brakkart]

Every line of every Discworld book ever.

Sir Terry Pratchett.

Yes, but especially this one (for me anyway)@

Soul Music
Alfred: I brought you some Chamomile tea sir.
Death: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A TYPE OF SOAP?
Alfred: You can put it in soap or tea sir.
Death: HOW VERY USEFUL, CLEAN INSIDE AND OUT.

[CoffeeGrunt]

I know there's a million hilarious Terry Pratchett quotes, but I'm struggling to think of any particular ones right now. Good excuse to read Guards, Guards! again. Ah well, here's a favourite of mine from the similarly-hilarious Douglas Adams:


“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”

[Mr Mystery]

I know there's a million hilarious Terry Pratchett quotes, but I'm struggling to think of any particular ones right now. Good excuse to read Guards, Guards! again. Ah well, here's a favourite of mine from the similarly-hilarious Douglas Adams:

Fave bit in Guards Guards! would have to be Nobby, Colon and Carrot trying to figure out how to make their risky shot precisely a million-to-one, which as has been proven, is the sort of shot that actually works nine times in ten.

Potentially controversial.....I rate Pratchett over Adams. Very close run thing though, I just feel Pratchett has more warmth and humanity.

[CoffeeGrunt]

I need to re-read Hitckhiker's Guide to be sure, I got a mighty compendium of the whole trilogy to go through. I liked Adams' style as it was like having a chat with someone over a pint. The witticisms, the meandering, it was a really fun writing style and it's some great out-there sci-fi. Pratchett I think nails the parodying of society in utterly silly ways that make a fantastic amount of sense. Small Gods, for example, just nails the concept of religion in its entirety, while having a good ol' laugh at Atheists as well.

[grimmas]

18604

And let's not forget the excellent

"Undead or alive you are coming with me".

And

"He could think in italics. Such people needed watching. Preferably from a distance"

[Mr Mystery]

I'm just a massive fan of how Pratchett can utterly skewer a convention, but without being nasty about it. I mean, that's a helluva talent to take apart a concept to show how ridiculous it is, without accusing adherents to it as being ridiculous themselves.

Plus, his take on Witchcraft is just superb.

[Gotthammer]

https://65.media.tumblr.com/08051fe5e8db19b9a44cdb944e032c28/tumblr_o28xmfIHVE1r6hkqzo1_1280.png

[CoffeeGrunt]

A philosopher for the ages. :P

But yeah, that's like how people would freak out over a tour through a slaughterhouse, but are meat eaters. People just don't connect the dots.

[Tyrendian]

http://www.thepoke.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2014/10/Lg9DHdl1.jpg

[Psychosplodge]

The members of the Guild of Assassins considered themselves cultured men who enjoyed good music and food and literature. And they knew the value of human life. To a penny, in many cases.

The truth is that even big collections of ordinary books distort space, as can readily be proved by anyone who has been around a really old-fashioned secondhand bookshop, one of those that look as though they were designed by M. Escher on a bad day and has more staircases than storys and those rows of shelves which end in little doors that are surely too small for a full-sized human to enter.

Interestingly enough, the gods of the Disc have never bothered much about judging the souls of the dead, and so people only go to hell if that’s where they believe, in their deepest heart, that they deserve to go. Which they won’t do if they don’t know about it. This explains why it is important to shoot missionaries on sight.

He felt as if he’d been shipwrecked on the Titanic but in the nick of time had been rescued. By the Lusitania.

The fastest insect is the .303 bookworm. It evolved in magical libraries, where it is necessary to eat extremely quickly to avoid being affected by the thaumic radiations. An adult .303 bookworm can eat through a shelf of books so fast that it ricochets off the wall

No one is more worried by the actual physical manifestation of a god than his priests; it’s like having the auditors in unexpectedly

The old king told me once that the gods gave people a sense of humour to make up for giving them sex

Because of the way time was recorded among the various states, kingdoms and cities. After all, when over an area of a hundred square miles the same year is variously the year of the small bat, and anticipated monkey, the hunting cloud, fat cows, three bright stallions and at least nine numbers recording the time since assorted kings, prophets, and strange events were either crowned, born or happened, and each year has a different number of months, and some of them don’t have weeks, and one of them refuses to accept the day as a measure of time, the only thing it is possible to be sure of is that good sex doesn’t last long enough

There were tortoises in the Old Kingdom. They could be called a lot of things - vegetarians, patient, thoughtful, even extremely diligent and persistent sex-maniacs - but never, up until now, fast.

Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god’s idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs

She walked quickly through the darkness with the frank stride of someone who was at least certain that the forest, on this damp and windy night, contained strange and terrible things and she was it.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages

Scientists have calculated that the chances of something so patently absurd actually existing are millions to one.
But magicians have calculated that million-to-one chances crop up nine times out of ten.

The only thing known to go faster than ordinary light is monarchy, according to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle. He reasoned like this: you can’t have more than one king, and tradition demands that there is no gap between kings, so when a king dies the succession must therefore pass to the heir instantaneously. Presumably, he said, there must be some elementary particles – kingons, or possibly queons – that do this job, but of course succession sometimes fails if, in mid-flight, they strike an anti-particle, or republicon. His ambitious plans to use his discovery to send messages, involving the careful torturing of a small king in order to modulate the signal, were never fully expanded because, at that point, the bar closed.

It would seem that you have no useful skill or talent whatsoever,“ he said. "Have you thought of going into teaching?

Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.



I've literally just got to the bit in guards,guards where they make the shot you're talking about.

[Kirsten]

"Now, it's a fact well known to those who know it well"

Robert Rankin

[grimmas]

"Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set him on fire and he's warm for the rest of his life".

[Mr Mystery]

“The reason that the rich were so rich, Vimes reasoned, was because they managed to spend less money.

Take boots, for example. He earned thirty-eight dollars a month plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots cost fifty dollars. But an affordable pair of boots, which were sort of OK for a season or two and then leaked like hell when the cardboard gave out, cost about ten dollars. Those were the kind of boots Vimes always bought, and wore until the soles were so thin that he could tell where he was in Ankh-Morpork on a foggy night by the feel of the cobbles.

But the thing was that good boots lasted for years and years. A man who could afford fifty dollars had a pair of boots that'd still be keeping his feet dry in ten years' time, while the poor man who could only afford cheap boots would have spent a hundred dollars on boots in the same time and would still have wet feet.

This was the Captain Samuel Vimes 'Boots' theory of socioeconomic unfairness.”

We lost more than just a great author when Sir Terry passed away :(

Oh - and I've bought a lapel vase, ready for 25th May.

[Psychosplodge]

Cheery was aware that Commander Vimes didn’t like the phrase “The innocent have nothing to fear”, believing the innocent had everything to fear, mostly from the guilty but in the longer term even more from those who say things like “The innocent have nothing to fear”.
— Terry Pratchett, Snuff

[Gotthammer]

I just shamelessly want a threeway

-Asymmetrical Xeno (http://www.lounge.belloflostsouls.net/showthread.php?69192-Horus-Heresy-Adeptus-Titanicus&p=544353&viewfull=1#post544353)

[Kirsten]

lol

[Asymmetrical Xeno]

-Asymmetrical Xeno (http://www.lounge.belloflostsouls.net/showthread.php?69192-Horus-Heresy-Adeptus-Titanicus&p=544353&viewfull=1#post544353)

talk about OUT OF CONTEXT, you evil aussie :P

http://www.pics4world.com/vb/finecache/2/4615showing.jpg

[CoffeeGrunt]

Seems legit to me.

[Mr Mystery]

Yeah. I saw it too.

Dirty boy.

[Kirsten]

"she can multiply large sums, in her head"
"so can a calculator"

still possibly the greatest put down ever :p

[Psychosplodge]

I just shamelessly want a threeway

Everyman's dream that, the opportunity to disappoint two women - Al Murray

[Wolfshade]

And my dark soul is happy again, because it does not know how to be anything else for very long, and because the pain is a deep dark sea in which I would drown if I did not sail my little craft steadily over the surface, steadily towards a sun which will never rise. - Anne Rice

[Psychosplodge]

From the interwebz

I live with a genestealer… well I call her that, she has half my genes, half my wife’s and an unwavering desire to destroy the forces of the imperium

[thedestroyer]

How can you beat this WW2 quote from Churchill?

"We shall go on to the end. We shall fight in France, we shall fight on the seas and oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender."