When SM's poo, and other amazing 40K mysteries

[therealjohnny5]

Ok, Hammer Sages, lets get to the real riviting and deep questions we all wonder about. This is the thread for all those...

For me it's a simples question, When a SM poo's where does it go? I know the armor can come off, but rarely does, especially on a long campaign...

[Cryl]

I'm guessing some sort of still suit type functionality like the Fremen in Dune... that or they're so bio engineered that they don't poo?

EDIT: I can't believe I'd posted a reply before I thought how weird the thread was...

[Lord Azaghul]

For me it's a simples question, When a SM poo's where does it go? ...

I'll bet its not the same place that CSM marine poo goes!

[therealjohnny5]

I'll bet its not the same place that CSM marine poo goes!

to the warp to be consumed by nurgle?

[Aldramelech]

Goodbye

[mjayc50]

how the hell did tau evolve 3 fingers and cloven hooves at the same time... maybe lots of walking in muddy hills and the need to show the V sign to all those who said 'nice cloven hooves, *******...'

[mjayc50]

I thought the Armour re-cycled it into food? I'm sure there's a bit about it in the Ultra Marines books when Ventris is stranded in the Eye of Terror.


Stranded or straining

[Duke]

Well, what I want to know is if a Space Marine poos do the Imperial Citizens build a shrine over it? And if they did would that then make it "holy s***t?"

Duke

[hyrion]

Plague Marines use it for blight grenades.

[Lord Azaghul]

Stranded or straining

Well that COULD be an Eye of Terror

[Irdion]

Well that COULD be an Eye of Terror

You sir, are an artist of the pun.

[Lord Azaghul]

Well that COULD be an Eye of Terror


You sir, are an artist of the pun.

*Lord Azaghul takes a bow.

I do try.:p

[TalonZahn]

I think it depends on which Chapter the SM belongs to.

SW - probably drops it by a tree and then tries to bury it
BA - Everyone knows they are above going, so they just never do
UM - Just like everyone else does, by the Codex
Sallies - Probably in some sort of drum that is then lit on fire or collected and used as fuel FOR a fire
Ravenguard - Quickly and quietly where no one can see them
DA - Hidden somewhere in shame under a cloak
IF - Long and drawn out, like a siege. Lots of pain and crying are involved
CF - With lots of explosive force
BT - They poo and then try to find the heretic that made them do it, CRUSADE!
White Scars - Off the back of a moving vehicle
GK - They poo and then banish it because they know its' "True Name"

On and on it goes.....

I have too much free time at work today.

[mjayc50]

*Lord Azaghul takes a bow.

I do try.:p

thx 4 spelling it out - i like to leave my jokes unsaid but implied! thx for stealing my cheap laugh!:eek:

[Madness]

DA - Hidden somewhere in shame under a cloak
- and then he writes about it in a supersecret diary that no one has ever to get ahold of.

Nice list btw.

[Lord Azaghul]

I think it depends on which Chapter the SM belongs to.

SW - probably drops it by a tree and then tries to bury it
BA - Everyone knows they are above going, so they just never do
UM - Just like everyone else does, by the Codex
Sallies - Probably in some sort of drum that is then lit on fire or collected and used as fuel FOR a fire
Ravenguard - Quickly and quietly where no one can see them
DA - Hidden somewhere in shame under a cloak
IF - Long and drawn out, like a siege. Lots of pain and crying are involved
CF - With lots of explosive force
BT - They poo and then try to find the heretic that made them do it, CRUSADE!
White Scars - Off the back of a moving vehicle
GK - They poo and then banish it because they know its' "True Name"

On and on it goes.....

I have too much free time at work today.

I think we have a new winner!

[Aldramelech]

Goodbye

[BuFFo]

At the end of a campaign, a Marine's left leg is half filled with piss, and the right leg is half filled with crap.

[Lord Azaghul]

Brings new meaning to: Das Boot!

[mjayc50]

See, I try to be serious for 1 post and this is what happens! :rolleyes:

You kiss your mother with that mouth? :D

what did you think was going to happen! i think you may have chosen the wrong forum thread to be serious on. i hear they need a subjective and considered view in the tactica section - something about 'how best to wipe your bottom in the 40,000 centrury'

[therealjohnny5]

I think we have a new winner!
I'd second that.

[Duke]

I think Im going to have to give the Thread crown to talonZahn. That was pure genius. I would have to say that I can see where the Blood Angels "Black Rage," comes from! They hold it in for so long that they go into a rage.

Duke

[DarkLink]

how the hell did tau evolve 3 fingers and cloven hooves at the same time... maybe lots of walking in muddy hills and the need to show the V sign to all those who said 'nice cloven hooves, *******...'

4 fingers. But yeah, hooves and hands don't usually mix. Maybe they evolved from a horse that liked to climb trees?

[Duke]

Nah, too small for a horse I say they came from Donkeys who liked to climb trees.

Duke

[rkiviman]

Here we go again, another crappy thread!! Who knows this one maybe as fun to read as the one about female space marines!!!Okay, so I went there!:D

[lobster-overlord]

At the end of a campaign, a Marine's left leg is half filled with piss, and the right leg is half filled with crap.

Yes, but Gray Knights are full up on both, not just half, cause we know their just all full of ****

[Vorlon]

I think it depends on which Chapter the SM belongs to.

SW - probably drops it by a tree and then tries to bury it
BA - Everyone knows they are above going, so they just never do
UM - Just like everyone else does, by the Codex
Sallies - Probably in some sort of drum that is then lit on fire or collected and used as fuel FOR a fire
Ravenguard - Quickly and quietly where no one can see them
DA - Hidden somewhere in shame under a cloak
IF - Long and drawn out, like a siege. Lots of pain and crying are involved
CF - With lots of explosive force
BT - They poo and then try to find the heretic that made them do it, CRUSADE!
White Scars - Off the back of a moving vehicle
GK - They poo and then banish it because they know its' "True Name"

On and on it goes.....

I have too much free time at work today.

This made my day!!! but my fiance didnt get it....and gave me a "what the hell is wrong with you look". Guess shes not into sophisticated humor such as this!


PS...you forgot one obvious chapter. Fleshtearers ^_^

[Madness]

Tmi tmi tmi!

[Vorlon]

A disturbing though just occurred....

Per the blessed Index Astartes

Phase 2 Ossmodula
"At the same time, the specially engineered hormones encourage the forming bones to absorb ceramic based chemicals administered in the marine's diet."


So what could we infer about the hardness of Marine poo???


This does reinforce my early post about Fleshtearers ^_^

[Artein]

I think they do it like normal people. They pull down their power armour pants. They sit on a "throne". They push. Then they wipe their *** with their awesomeness. And then they can go back to fighting xeno/mutant/traitor/witch/whatever.

[TalonZahn]

Sorry to leave you hanging.....

Had to actually work for a bit.

Flesh Tearers - I'll leave it to your imagination
Alpha Legion - Sneak in, go, convince someone else they did it
Iron Warriors - It involves chains and trenches
Lamenters - Go, repent, CRUSADE!
Iron Hands - Mechanized, works like an Air Lock in deep space
Luna Wolves - Go, then get mad no one else thinks it's special, turn to Chaos
Word Bearers - Go, build a Temple around it, demand worship
Death Guard - It's white, has lots of flies
Emperor's Children - Involves lots of noise, when done, Guitar Solo!
Thousand Sons - Close one eye, devine the problem, produce sand
World Eaters - Two words: Chain Axe
Night Lords - Under cover of dark in the precise spot
Legion of the Damned - It just appears, catches on fire

Did I forget anyone?

[Vorlon]

There is a Rainbow Warrior joke some where in the dark depraved recesses of my mind but Ill leave it up to you.

[sketchesofpayne]

I could've sworn they ate danger and shat bullets...

[AsgeirArnald]

I would have to say that I can see where the Blood Angels "Black Rage," comes from! They hold it in for so long that they go into a rage.

But then wouldn't it be the brown rage?

I just couldn't help myself...:D

[imperialsavant]

I think it depends on which Chapter the SM belongs to.

SW - probably drops it by a tree and then tries to bury it
BA - Everyone knows they are above going, so they just never do
UM - Just like everyone else does, by the Codex
Sallies - Probably in some sort of drum that is then lit on fire or collected and used as fuel FOR a fire
Ravenguard - Quickly and quietly where no one can see them
DA - Hidden somewhere in shame under a cloak
IF - Long and drawn out, like a siege. Lots of pain and crying are involved
CF - With lots of explosive force
BT - They poo and then try to find the heretic that made them do it, CRUSADE!
White Scars - Off the back of a moving vehicle
GK - They poo and then banish it because they know its' "True Name"

On and on it goes.....

I have too much free time at work today.

Very Clever!:cool:

Now we have covered the "poo" or I hope so!

What do Space Marines Eat?? Standard IG Rations or some much more tasty fare? Perhaps those suits have an automatic feeding system?

We know Space Wolves like a good old "bash" when back at the Keep with much feasting & drinking.
(always reminds me of Star Trek latter day Klingons for some reason?)

What do you all think?

[imperialsavant]

:rolleyes: You know I might just have solved about half of the mystery.
Do any of you remember the TSOLR Cartoon when Frep pulled the handle on the S**t container in the Land Raider & covered everyone behind it in the nasty stuff.
Perhaps they have Ceramite loos in Land Raiders but then what happens when they dont have one handy? :confused:

[therealjohnny5]

they eat weakness for breakfast and pain for lunch...dinner? Gently sauteed wild bay scallops with a white wine ginger sauce served on a bed of freshly cut mixed greens and a side of au gratin potatoes. what else?

[imperialsavant]

they eat weakness for breakfast and pain for lunch...dinner? Gently sauteed wild bay scallops with a white wine ginger sauce served on a bed of freshly cut mixed greens and a side of au gratin potatoes. what else?

;) No wonder Everybody in the 41st Millenium wants to be a Space Marine & NOT a IG Grunt!

[therealjohnny5]

yeah, it's totally their fare. has nothing to do with that whole "super human, warriors of the god-emperor, saviors of the universe thing." that was soooo 35th millennium.

[Grotzooka]

Sorry to leave you hanging.....

Had to actually work for a bit.

Flesh Tearers - I'll leave it to your imagination
Alpha Legion - Sneak in, go, convince someone else they did it
Iron Warriors - It involves chains and trenches
Lamenters - Go, repent, CRUSADE!
Iron Hands - Mechanized, works like an Air Lock in deep space
Luna Wolves - Go, then get mad no one else thinks it's special, turn to Chaos
Word Bearers - Go, build a Temple around it, demand worship
Death Guard - It's white, has lots of flies
Emperor's Children - Involves lots of noise, when done, Guitar Solo!
Thousand Sons - Close one eye, devine the problem, produce sand
World Eaters - Two words: Chain Axe
Night Lords - Under cover of dark in the precise spot
Legion of the Damned - It just appears, catches on fire

Did I forget anyone?
This is win in a box. And any seriousness this thread may have once had is long gone...

[therealjohnny5]

yeah, i think you may be assuming too much from a poo thread...not sure there was ever too much seriousness attached to this one...just as i planned...one more step towards world domination...MWAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!.....uh... i mean, time for coffee?

[david5th]

This is win in a box. And any seriousness this thread may have once had is long gone...

Did this thread have any seriousness in the first place?;)

[Dark_Templar]

deleted due to DT being too eager to reply.

[Subject Keyword]

Space Marine's poo is siphoned into their skulls.
It would explain a lot.

[Extinction Angel]

On the command deck of the Planet Killer, Abaddon plans his 14th Black Crusade...

Captain: Lord, do you think it wise to invade that deep into Tyranid held space?
Abaddon: You doubt me!?
Captain: My appologies Lord, it's just that they call them the Great Devourer for a reason.
Abaddon: Yes you fool, I know that. But I have a plan. We will send in the Berserkers.
Captain: Ther Berserkers? Alone? With no support?
Abaddon: Yes you insolent cur. You see...nothing can digest Khorne.

[Jiggs]

On the command deck of the Planet Killer, Abaddon plans his 14th Black Crusade...

Captain: Lord, do you think it wise to invade that deep into Tyranid held space?
Abaddon: You doubt me!?
Captain: My appologies Lord, it's just that they call them the Great Devourer for a reason.
Abaddon: Yes you fool, I know that. But I have a plan. We will send in the Berserkers.
Captain: Ther Berserkers? Alone? With no support?
Abaddon: Yes you insolent cur. You see...nothing can digest Khorne.

Hah I love it "Nothing can digest khorne" (corn):D that made my day

[Grotzooka]

Ba dump TSH!