my diy Space Marine chapter

[psycosquirrel15]

Looking for some feedback on my diy chapter fluff please feel free to criticize i want good and bad

THE DRAGON FORGED

The exact time in which The Dragon Forged were founded is unknown from now unknown gene stock all that is really known about their origin is that they were founded and stationed in the Rhaegal system on the planet Rhaegal V in order to counter a treat that was predicted to arise there.
Sworn to destroy all treats to there home system The Dragon Forged have fought in many campaigns on many worlds including Armageddon and it was here that they fought along side The Salamanders with whom they would later form a friendship with. Even going as far as to adopt some of there tactics.
The Dragon Forged's home world Rhaegal V is a planet covered mostly in forest and mountains with towns and city's of a medieval nature scattered around its three continents. The hard life the locals live has produced many strong and hardy recruits for The Dragon Forged who Rule Rhaegal V from their fortress high in the northern mountains of the planets central continent. It is here that the current chapter master Balerion Wrex governs the local populace and The Dragon Forged maintain the aerial fleets for which they are famed. In the deepest caverns below the fortress lays the Dragon Forge were legend says the chapters Techmarines have enslaved many of the planets mighty wryms and use their fire to forge weapons and wargear of a quality rivalling even The Salamanders or The Blood Angels. Such weapons include The Dragon Breath Flamer which recruits must survive a blast form in order to become "Dragon Forged" resulting in many of The Dragon Forged having horrible scars and burns which they view as a badge of honour.

Not keen on the Codex Astarte The Dragon Forged prefer to do there own thing and develop their own tactics including adopting and modifying the tactic of The Salamanders whom they recently fought along side and have developed a bond with during the 3rd war of Armageddon.

Since then The Dragon Forged have been fighting the greenskins wherever they emerge. It was during one these battles that Brother Sergeant Falcor stood as an example of what it means to be Dragon Forged. During the Battle of Glaedr III He and his squad aided by two squads of Salamanders held the narrow streets of a local city long enough for the civilians to be evacuated. When it seem the orks would overrun there position Falcon lead his squad in a counter charge which along with the salamander cover fire nearly broke the orks resolve. It was the arrival of six mega armoured nobz that spelled Falcors doom although he and the remainder of his squad fought bravely killing three of the nobz they were eventual cut down. The remaining nobz were finished off by the Salamanders support fire but by this time Falcor was little more then a bloody mess. So impressed were the Salamanders by Falcors sacrifice that he was taken to Nocturne and in cased in a rare contmptor dreadnought and returned to The Dragon Forged where serves as an example for all Dragon Forged.

These days The Dragon Forged maintain vigil of the Rhaegal system awaiting the treat that they were founded to fight what ever that may be. They are also commonly seen fighting along side The Salamanders.

[Blood Shadow]

I have some questions/ development points you may want to consider...

Deep down your chapter will have originated from one given Primarch, certainly there seems to be a strong suggestion of Salamander heritage.

This will help you when deciding how to paint chapter markings, company and squad badges etc, are they a codex 10 company chapter?

What is the reason for their losing traces of their heritage? Was there some calamity that caused the chapter to start from scratch, is there some secret that is hidden as to why your chapters records are "perditus"?

How do the inquisition look on the chapter? Strong allies or suspicious xenos enslavers....certainly the mechanicum using biological lifeforms could be considered heretical by some monodominants....

How do the chapter feel about Eldar/ Dark Eldar? Vulkan and the Salamanders have a very long established hatred of the xenos witches.

Which loyal/ renegade chapters does your chapter hold grudges against? Which chapter tactics will you never use....for example they seem very adaptive and willing to try new techniques rather than strictly adhering to the Codex laid down by Robute Guilliman, perhaps they find the Ultramarines too strict....how about a rivalry with someone like the Fire Lords chapter?

Does your chapter favour drop pods, fast assault fiery death at close quarters or blasting stuff from afar.

The fire birth/ purification of your marines, makes them sound superstitious or is it purely tradition and perhaps very religious, how do they view the Emperor as a God or as a Father? If it's a tradition, what does it symbolise is there a flaw in their Geneseed or in the recruits themselves that is exposed under flame?

All these points can help you make your chapter unique in the game, for example as you've lost your history do you have any old Dreadnoughts, why don't they know the chapters history (so perhaps don't use dreads), if they're a devout chapter perhaps consider taking lots of chaplains/ recclusiarchs as HQs.... perhaps the fire wyrms is a way of checking for xenos or warp taint in recruits, does this mean the chapter is less likely to have librarians and therefore crusader squads and army wide adamantium will is a better fit....I guess it's just a think about it kind of thing, it's all in the detail

[psycosquirrel15]

thanks for the feedback and ideas

[psycosquirrel15]

Heres a slightly better version

THE DRAGON FORGED

9945

ORIGIN
Founded in the 38th millianium the primarch from which there gene seed was taken has been suppressed by the Inquisition for reasons known only to them despite the many petitions by all there chapter masters which has lead to strained relations between the two. all they really know about their origin is that they were founded and stationed in the Rhaegal system on the planet Rhaegal V in order to counter a treat that was predicted to arise there.
HOME WORLD
The Dragon Forgeds home world Rhaegal V is a planet covered mostly in forest and mountains with towns and city's of a medieval nature scattered around its three continents. The hard life the locals live has produced many strong and hardy recruits for The Dragon Forged who Rule Rhaegal V from their fortress monastery high in the northern mountains of the planets central continent. It is here that the current chapter master Balerion Wrex governs the local populace and The Dragon Forged maintain their fleets of storm talons and storm ravens for which they are famed. In the deepest caverns below the fortress lays the Dragon Forge were legend says the chapters Tech-marines have enslaved many of the planets mighty Wryms and use their fire to forge many of the chapters most potent weapons and relics. Rumers of which have in resent years drawn some negative attention from the Inquisition and led to further strained relations.
RECRUITMENT AND TRAINING
The chapters apothecary's screen the planets children at a young age and those found to be pure enough are taken to the fortress monastery to be raised and educated about the chapter and the Imperium at large. Once the recruits have come of age they are formed into squads and begin there combat training learning to use all forms of Bolter from Bolt Pistol to Heavy Bolter as well as extensive Chainsword training. Those who are deemed worthy are further trained in the use of one of the chapters sacred flamer or melta weapons. Once the a squad is deemed fit they are sent to hunt one of the great Wryms large reptilian beasts capable of killing a dozen men with there fiery breath. Many recruits do not return from these hunts but should they be successful they are to return with the creatures head and heart. The skull is added to the chapters hall of relics and the heart is cooked and eaten by the squads surviving members. The recruits are then assigned to one of the chapters battle companies were they will either join squads of full brothers in close combat or formed into small squads of their own and provide covering fire. During this time the recruits will gain first hand experience in fighting the many enemies of the Imperium. Once the company commander has decided they have learned enough they are returned to Rhaegal V to undergo The Dragon Forging a sacred ritual which observed by the Chapter Master and preformed by the Head Chaplin also present is the Chapters Champion. The Recruits are lined up before the Head Chaplin whom will be in poses ion of one of the chapters most revered relics The Dragon Breath Flamer he explains that in order to become "Dragon Forged" the last of there human weaknesses must be burned away. With that the recruits are asked to step forward when they are called should a recruits courage fail him or should he succumb to the flames the Chapter Champion will swiftly but them out of their misery those who remain are taken to the Apothecarium to under go their finale transformation into Space Marines.
TACTICS
Not keen on the Codex Astarte The Dragon Forged prefer to do their fighting up close with flamer and chainsword. as such The Dragon Forged exale at rapid assaults using Rhino,Landraider and Storm Raven with scout squads providing supporting fire. The main force is never without its Storm Talon escorts which are used to knockout heavy fortifications and tanks ahead of the main assault.
BELIEFS
Since The Dragon Forged have no record of who their primarch is they have instead decided to Revere all of them in some way and view them and the emperor as mankind's greatest warriors and as the Fathers of the astartes. The Dragon Forged also Revere fire as they believe it is with fire that mankind can purge himself of his weakness and become something far greater. it is also the tool with which he will destroy his enemies.