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ElectricPaladin
03-01-2014, 05:00 PM
What would you call this website if it was a collection of forgotten puns?

Bell of Lost LOLs.

Your turn.

Wolfshade
03-01-2014, 05:57 PM
There are plenty of forgotten puns in the off-topic threads,

What is a heretics favourite breakfast cereal? Khorne Flakes

lobster-overlord
03-01-2014, 08:48 PM
wow, this thread is going to have me in stitches.

Aenir
03-02-2014, 01:21 AM
I used to spend a lot of time in a butcher's shoppe until I moved... The Last words I told him were.... Shanks for the Memories!

Wolfshade
03-02-2014, 02:13 AM
http://www.lounge.belloflostsouls.net/showthread.php?37238-The-General-Pooter-Games-Thread&p=395693&viewfull=1#post395693 from 402 to 423 inc.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 06:25 AM
I'm famous for my terrible, terrible puns. Just ask Gott. But I remain punrepentant.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 06:30 AM
I'm famous for my terrible, terrible puns. Just ask Gott. But I remain punrepentant.

It's true, but I'll see you punished for it one of these days.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 06:32 AM
Punlikely.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 06:37 AM
ლ(ಠ_ಠლ)

eldargal
03-02-2014, 06:38 AM
:cool:

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 06:43 AM
http://25.media.tumblr.com/3737ed101e8dd5bd585afda8d9c25de7/tumblr_mx5s2bzbru1qajuaro1_400.gif

ACTIVATING DEATH RAY - your death will be quick and pineless.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 06:43 AM
Cause of death: uncone.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 06:58 AM
Well at least you're not making jokes about sausage - those are the wurst.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 07:04 AM
Been trying to think up a sausage pun, but I can't think of a wiener.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 07:08 AM
To me they're just like a skinless banana - completely without appeal.



Also:

http://25.media.tumblr.com/bf6b3a6cd0cdae537c1f233e6f9dcfa9/tumblr_n1irlaAckO1qewacoo1_500.png

http://25.media.tumblr.com/cc0d7c13c31bee09870658747b401ab1/tumblr_n1irlaAckO1qewacoo2_500.png

http://31.media.tumblr.com/085de3184fcc4ae6572204decd3247b9/tumblr_n1irlaAckO1qewacoo3_500.png

eldargal
03-02-2014, 07:11 AM
I didn't realise those eagles were so damned big.><

I do relish a good food pun.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 07:17 AM
Aye, a good one is berry delicious.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 07:20 AM
Not everyone likes food puns, some people really ate them.

I'm all in favour of thespians.;)

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 07:31 AM
I've gotta say that one's pretty half baked...

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ltsvw3JE6z1r5r5uqo1_400.gif

;)


And speaking of groups, I met a girl at my vegetarian club and she said we knew each other but I'd never seen herbivore.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 07:37 AM
Atyeast I tried.

;)

I hear vegetarians are often quite lonely as they don't meat people.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 08:11 AM
Thanks for the laugh, I really kneaded it :p

I think vegetarianism is a huge missed steak actually.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 08:17 AM
You're welcome, just I doughnt know when to stop.;)

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 08:26 AM
Be careful though, with a good food pun is a rare medium well done.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 08:27 AM
Don't worry, hen it comes to food puns I'm a seasoned veteran.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 08:34 AM
That one is so bad it should be classified as gruel and unusual punishment.

eldargal
03-02-2014, 08:42 AM
I'm punstoppable.;)

I enjoy food puns, they really let me ham the point home.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 08:49 AM
I get often distracted thinking of food puns, must be my short attention spam.

Gotthammer
03-02-2014, 09:45 AM
https://31.media.tumblr.com/5ef7dc51c1765b5ac30b32c125bf76f4/tumblr_n1sbqddwW71rmvu7eo1_250.gif https://24.media.tumblr.com/99def94149e26b62d8beba35ba584cf0/tumblr_n1sbqddwW71rmvu7eo2_250.gif

https://24.media.tumblr.com/5bc1d82345b450993b6dd5a61cb68a74/tumblr_n1sbqddwW71rmvu7eo3_250.gif https://31.media.tumblr.com/28cdfab80a03607e3850f4ca84f6384f/tumblr_n1sbqddwW71rmvu7eo4_250.gif

Thane's bad dad jokes (http://ferelden.tumblr.com/tagged/thanedj).

Aenir
03-02-2014, 03:02 PM
http://31.media.tumblr.com/47b93c5387b27869066989cdf869b60f/tumblr_mvfkdeULOO1rmomguo1_500.jpg

Aenir
03-02-2014, 05:31 PM
So, I was trying to work on a mystery, took me to A Florists, I asked him what he knew about the case. He shushed me and said... Mum's the Word
http://www.flowerphoto.org/image/flower/Mum-flower.jpg

Psychosplodge
03-03-2014, 04:50 AM
The Stupid Pun Thread

Like there's any other type?

Wolfshade
03-03-2014, 04:54 AM
http://static3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110620092718/eddworld/images/4/45/Cheese.jpg

eldargal
03-03-2014, 05:23 AM
Cheeses forgives.

Wolfshade
03-03-2014, 05:25 AM
Whey to milk a pun...

Psychosplodge
03-03-2014, 05:55 AM
http://i58.tinypic.com/o5cmlc.gif
http://i60.tinypic.com/zw0wlx.gif
http://i61.tinypic.com/2ennnuc.gif

Mr Mystery
03-03-2014, 07:13 AM
Hey look! There's Jimmy Carr not being particularly witty or funny, again.

eldargal
03-03-2014, 07:27 AM
Hey look! There's Jimmy Carr not being particularly witty or funny, again.
http://cdn.memegenerator.net/images/300x/8378988.jpg
He was supposed to be the chosen pun.

Psychosplodge
03-03-2014, 07:31 AM
Hey look! There's Jimmy Carr not being particularly witty or funny, again.

Well considering he specialises in puns what do you expect?

Wolfshade
03-03-2014, 07:31 AM
Maybe we should layden to rest.

Mr Mystery
03-03-2014, 09:39 AM
Well considering he specialises in puns what do you expect?

By pun do you mean achingly obvious 'observations', and really-not-at-all funny anecdotes about contrived situations?

Psychosplodge
03-03-2014, 09:43 AM
pretty much.

Psychosplodge
03-05-2014, 10:38 AM
http://i61.tinypic.com/30vd7bs.png

Wolfshade
03-05-2014, 03:35 PM
Chemi-Kazi

I had hoped that they were a port-a-loo service, they are instead a cleaning firm.

Edit:
This wasn't a pun I came up with, I was travelling to Mass and loo and behold it crossed my path at traffic lights

Gotthammer
03-06-2014, 02:56 AM
https://31.media.tumblr.com/eccaf1aaf466e7e7a1b2d9a0e548aa7d/tumblr_n1mwofdu9r1rkemkyo1_500.jpg

Psychosplodge
03-06-2014, 03:02 AM
*head desk*

Psychosplodge
03-10-2014, 04:22 AM
http://i57.tinypic.com/rlb9dl.jpg
http://i62.tinypic.com/e6f22w.jpg
http://i59.tinypic.com/b5pklw.jpg
http://i58.tinypic.com/2dkz67p.jpg

Psychosplodge
03-10-2014, 04:23 AM
http://i61.tinypic.com/206d2tz.png
http://i57.tinypic.com/kcmlug.jpg

Wolfshade
03-10-2014, 04:58 AM
#winning :)

Aenir
03-16-2014, 04:42 AM
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3982608128/hD1663000

Wolfshade
03-26-2014, 02:43 AM
How do Blood Angels like their pasta? Al Dante...

Wolfshade
03-26-2014, 05:33 AM
You should see the solid state of my hard drive

Gotthammer
04-15-2014, 11:49 PM
https://31.media.tumblr.com/bca25499f4be0d6aaecac095d52a261a/tumblr_inline_mpxkm6irgD1qz4rgp.gif

Hue Jackman

Psychosplodge
04-16-2014, 05:29 AM
Funnier as its manchester

http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-04/enhanced/webdr04/13/12/enhanced-buzz-16987-1397405899-8.jpg

Wolfshade
04-16-2014, 05:38 AM
Hehe,

Spent of lot of time drinking there

Psychosplodge
04-16-2014, 06:08 AM
:confused:

Wolfshade
04-16-2014, 06:11 AM
Rockworld is round the corner

Psychosplodge
04-16-2014, 06:15 AM
oh, i wasn't aware there was any kind of rock club in manchester, thought they were too busy with their britpop

Wolfshade
04-16-2014, 06:18 AM
The guy who made the brummie clubs migrated north you see.

Necron2.0
04-16-2014, 01:44 PM
In high school, in a comparative government class, we were studying Anarchy as a governmental form, and philosophers whose beliefs in government could be considered anarchistic. We'd been studying this one particular philosopher for some time, and the teacher announced one day that we had to move on.

I shrieked, "SIR! We cannot just 'move on!' That would be taking Gandhi from babies!!"

The teacher threatened to "Thoreau" me out of class.

Psychosplodge
04-17-2014, 01:23 AM
you anarchist you :D

Psychosplodge
04-17-2014, 02:21 AM
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr06/2013/9/3/13/enhanced-buzz-6451-1378229372-9.jpg

Wolfshade
04-17-2014, 03:02 AM
Awesome

Psychosplodge
04-17-2014, 07:30 AM
http://i61.tinypic.com/5vd6is.jpg

Wolfshade
04-17-2014, 07:41 AM
Thanks splogy I now have tea dripping from my monitor...

Psychosplodge
04-17-2014, 07:44 AM
you'll need to dry that

Wolfshade
04-17-2014, 07:58 AM
I have tissues.

Actually it might be an IT service call..

Psychosplodge
04-17-2014, 08:01 AM
I don't think cycling the power supply will help

Wolfshade
04-17-2014, 08:07 AM
I cycle everything!

DWest
04-17-2014, 10:19 AM
Have you tried kicking it?

Necron2.0
04-17-2014, 02:53 PM
http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/133/b/f/scary_by_necron2_0-d4ydkkx.png

Rory Wildwards
04-18-2014, 06:21 PM
This thread is terrible....
Punitive measures should be taken.

Tyrendian
04-19-2014, 03:43 AM
How dare you insult this Glorious Thread! You must be punished!

eldargal
04-19-2014, 08:21 AM
No one can insult the pun thread with impunity.

Tyrendian
04-19-2014, 12:02 PM
who is BOLSs official Punisher anyway?

lobster-overlord
04-19-2014, 02:38 PM
Some puny guy.

Mr Mystery
04-19-2014, 04:16 PM
Have you tried kicking it?

You took the words right out of my mouth.

Well. Finger tips.

Psychosplodge
04-22-2014, 03:06 AM
http://i58.tinypic.com/nq1r1g.png

This might go over the head of the youth of today...

Psychosplodge
04-30-2014, 04:28 AM
http://i57.tinypic.com/2rz51rd.jpg

Wolfshade
04-30-2014, 05:08 AM
First thought: Where is my blender?

eldargal
05-05-2014, 04:03 AM
I don't like Durthu, he is a real son of a beech.

Psychosplodge
05-08-2014, 08:22 AM
https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/t1.0-9/1526638_618374538245844_1335009857_n.jpg

Psychosplodge
05-12-2014, 09:36 AM
http://i58.tinypic.com/cnbrp.jpg

Aenir
05-12-2014, 04:59 PM
http://static.squarespace.com/static/508f2f9ae4b044ecf46f20ae/t/5359a415e4b0042efcedfef7/1398383639467/TaraMannTypePun1

Psychosplodge
05-13-2014, 07:26 AM
NSFW but hilarious pun (https://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lv6cuwv6bE1r2ib5xo1_500.jpg)

Psychosplodge
05-14-2014, 04:36 AM
http://i57.tinypic.com/17y3hl.jpg

Wolfshade
05-14-2014, 04:42 AM
Avogadro's number?

Mole in the hand?

Psychosplodge
05-14-2014, 04:44 AM
I've got this mole on my hand...

Psychosplodge
05-15-2014, 04:01 AM
How about a visual pun?

By the way that's your mind :D

http://i59.tinypic.com/28hiqo7.jpg

eldargal
05-15-2014, 05:56 AM
https://31.media.tumblr.com/7f5bb8840d6d83f321991a5468290df5/tumblr_n5m1dlMV9h1qj8nkyo1_500.png

Psychosplodge
05-15-2014, 06:00 AM
*head tilt*
:confused:

eldargal
05-15-2014, 06:14 AM
Neighthan.:p Son of a unnicorn.

Psychosplodge
05-15-2014, 06:16 AM
Yeah I saw that, it wasn't the pun that confused me, just the unholy union of the most mystical and pure of creatures with a shambling undead beast with insatiable hunger.
I mean how does that possibly work?

Aegwymourn
05-15-2014, 06:39 AM
Yeah I saw that, it wasn't the pun that confused me, just the unholy union of the most mystical and pure of creatures with a shambling undead beast with insatiable hunger.
I mean how does that possibly work?

opposites attract?

Psychosplodge
05-15-2014, 06:43 AM
opposites attract?

:D

Gotthammer
05-16-2014, 05:45 AM
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

"Yes."
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”



-


a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs: the bikings

Wolfshade
05-16-2014, 05:48 AM
: slow clap :

Gotthammer
05-21-2014, 02:42 AM
A woman got breast implants made of wood yesterday

I guess it would be better if this had a pun in there wooden tit?

Psychosplodge
05-21-2014, 02:46 AM
*head desk*

That one was painful

Gotthammer
05-21-2014, 03:00 AM
If you think that's bad imagine if she got a splinter.

Psychosplodge
05-21-2014, 03:03 AM
ouch.
boob splinters :eek:

Though think of the knocking if she was getting a good seeing to over a wooden dining table :D

Tyrendian
05-21-2014, 07:40 AM
An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out, “Can you all see me now?”

"Yes."
“Oui.”
“Sí.”
“Ja.”



-


a motorcycle gang made up of ancient bisexual norse monarchs: the bikings

1st one I knew, second pretty much killed me... :D

Gotthammer
05-21-2014, 10:29 AM
1st one I knew, second pretty much killed me... :D

I'm surprised, I posted it on a Friday but really I do my best work on Saturday and Sunday - the rest are weekdays.

Wildeybeast
05-21-2014, 11:31 AM
Why is this thread still going. These silly jokes are completely punacceptable.

Wolfshade
05-22-2014, 03:24 AM
You can't reason with pundamentalists

Psychosplodge
05-22-2014, 03:41 AM
http://i59.tinypic.com/52zyo4.gif
http://i60.tinypic.com/15f6iae.gif
http://i58.tinypic.com/xdt9ip.gif
http://i61.tinypic.com/riyfko.gif

Mr Mystery
05-22-2014, 06:10 AM
Fnarr!

eldargal
05-26-2014, 02:50 AM
http://wwwpinknewscouk.c.presscdn.com/images/2014/05/conchita-wurst-700x460.jpg

Tyrendian
05-29-2014, 06:49 AM
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6209682176/h93CC52C5/




https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7897718272/h9C178ABD/

Gotthammer
05-29-2014, 09:12 AM
*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*



:p


Twin subwoofers:

http://31.media.tumblr.com/167924571153fca547f241cc0dfbdce6/tumblr_n5s2tlAHFx1rb179lo1_500.jpg

Wolfshade
05-29-2014, 09:26 AM
that is awdababs

Wildeybeast
05-29-2014, 10:32 AM
No it's not. People who make pets wear clothes or other unnecessary accessories are idiots.

Psychosplodge
05-29-2014, 03:43 PM
true, but how else are you going to give a dog pockets for its puppies?

Psychosplodge
05-29-2014, 03:54 PM
Also close enough
(http://rachelreine.tumblr.com/post/87211100454)

Wildeybeast
05-29-2014, 06:03 PM
true, but how else are you going to give a dog pockets for its puppies?

They've managed without them so far.

Psychosplodge
05-30-2014, 01:36 AM
Women have done without pockets in their clothes for years too, but they're not happy about it...

eldargal
05-30-2014, 01:52 AM
the thing is though everytime a girl compliments me on a dress/skirt with pockets and I declare THANKS IT HAS POCKETS her response completely changes from “oh that’s nice” to “**** ME BACKWARDS ARE YOU FOR REAL SHOW ME SHOW ME THE POCKETS”
Source (http://catesstrophe.tumblr.com/post/61241580664). True btw.

Psychosplodge
05-30-2014, 01:53 AM
See I was looking for that to support my point

Tyrendian
06-01-2014, 01:57 PM
Let's have a garden party! Lettuce Turnip the Beet!

lobster-overlord
06-01-2014, 02:41 PM
Let's have a garden party! Lettuce Turnip the Beet!

That was so bad that you win. I'm throwing in the trowel.

Mr Mystery
06-01-2014, 03:22 PM
That was so bad that you win. I'm throwing in the trowel.

Hoe hoe!

- - - Updated - - -

Right then. You're for it now. Behold! VIZ CRAP JOKES!

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_scfe5YzN958/S-zTzLsph3I/AAAAAAAAB8Q/GwefYshQu_8/s1600/Cross+dresser.gif

https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRlyDLULfcdv8INh8qLSTxRF-haceqIgZQCwUDa-m2SK6t_3lI0

http://i.imgur.com/l8vHK.gif

http://i31.servimg.com/u/f31/13/81/64/10/sweet10.gif

And a random feministy one.
http://www.comicsreporter.com/images/uploads/tomtomlescradd.jpg

Gotthammer
06-02-2014, 02:03 AM
https://31.media.tumblr.com/9afdb6ce7e24d9b245c8ff677f70ba19/tumblr_n486fwxIOI1tp0vo3o1_500.jpg

"Be a dear and stop kissing me."
"I can't, you're such a fox!"

Wolfshade
06-02-2014, 03:08 AM
I cannot see the image but I am imagining a interspeices shenanigans.

Gotthammer
06-06-2014, 12:43 AM
Here's one that's really on point:

https://24.media.tumblr.com/64c5193d53cb2eab3c9df6033263c7e3/tumblr_n4t2ffvSt81r8d08no1_500.jpg

I guess he's

(•_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

(⌐■_■)

Robbin' the bank

Yeeeaaahhhhhh!

Gotthammer
06-12-2014, 05:05 AM
https://24.media.tumblr.com/c31fa43e24a5f95cafd877ebf03efb62/tumblr_n6zhhoL2uA1r25kgko1_1280.jpg

lobster-overlord
06-12-2014, 05:24 AM
that'th jutht horrible.

Tyrendian
06-15-2014, 06:12 AM
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6897882112/h0AE4381D/

Wolfshade
06-16-2014, 01:46 AM
I used to make a lot of philosphy puns, then I discovered I Kant make a living from it as it is such a Niztche market.

Gotthammer
06-16-2014, 05:38 AM
Vampire looking in the mirror while masturbating.

Didn't see that one coming.

Mr Mystery
06-16-2014, 05:40 AM
https://24.media.tumblr.com/c31fa43e24a5f95cafd877ebf03efb62/tumblr_n6zhhoL2uA1r25kgko1_1280.jpg

I don't get it.

Gotthammer
06-16-2014, 05:50 AM
http://childrentopics.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/one-fish-two-fish1.jpg

Wolfshade
06-16-2014, 05:50 AM
Vampire looking in the mirror while masturbating.

Didn't see that one coming.

Urgh, does it make it any better that I was eating rice pudding while reading that?

Mr Mystery
06-16-2014, 05:52 AM
Ahhh. Dr Seuss.

Probably explains why I didn't get it. Don't like Dr Seuss stuff.

Psychosplodge
06-16-2014, 05:52 AM
say it with a lisp

eldargal
06-16-2014, 06:21 AM
http://childrentopics.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/one-fish-two-fish1.jpg

Still don't get it.:p

Gotthammer
06-16-2014, 06:40 AM
Can tell you studied the arts all right...


:p

eldargal
06-16-2014, 07:31 AM
Why is five taking the place of fish? does not understand.:p

Gotthammer
06-16-2014, 07:52 AM
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lu3ylxkUQH1qafok3.gif

Dork :p

Kirsten
06-16-2014, 10:54 AM
https://24.media.tumblr.com/c31fa43e24a5f95cafd877ebf03efb62/tumblr_n6zhhoL2uA1r25kgko1_1280.jpg

I didn't get it either

Necron2.0
06-16-2014, 12:49 PM
"I would tell you a joke about UDP/IP, but you might not get it."

http://fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/075/1/9/tmwl1_by_necron2_0-d4szqo8.jpg

Engineering humor ... only slightly worse than Vogon Poetry.

ElectricPaladin
06-16-2014, 12:54 PM
I didn't get it either

Say it out loud. With a lisp.

Kirsten
06-16-2014, 01:01 PM
obviously I get it now that it has already been explained :p

I hadn't read the book before.

Psychosplodge
06-17-2014, 08:58 AM
http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/2014-06/17/5/enhanced/webdr06/enhanced-5680-1402998215-1.jpg

Mr Mystery
06-17-2014, 09:11 AM
Kenny Everett's character below there, called Cupid Stunt.

http://ts3.mm.bing.net/th?id=HN.608039332039166861&w=192&h=146&c=7&rs=1&url=http%3a%2f%2fwww.experienceproject.com%2fstori es%2fLove-Kenny-Everett%2f1061250&pid=1.7

Saucy name. Near the knuckle.

Chosen, because apparently 'Mary Hinge' was too rude.....

Tyrendian
06-17-2014, 04:44 PM
not quite Puns, but Cupid Stunt just brought me to this neat little Wikipedia article: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spoonerism

"Three cheers for our queer old dean!" (dear old queen, referring to Queen Victoria)
"Is it kisstomary to cuss the bride?" (customary to kiss)
"The Lord is a shoving leopard." (a loving shepherd)
"A blushing crow." (crushing blow)
"A well-boiled icicle" (well-oiled bicycle)
"You were fighting a liar in the quadrangle." (lighting a fire)
"Is the bean dizzy?" (Dean busy)
"Someone is occupewing my pie. Please sew me to another sheet." (Someone is occupying my pew. Please show me to another seat.)
"You have hissed all my mystery lectures. You have tasted a whole worm. Please leave Oxford on the next town drain." (You have missed all my history lectures. You have wasted a whole term. Please leave Oxford on the next down train.)

Wolfshade
06-18-2014, 01:51 AM
Tyrendian you missed the good old Betty Swollocks.

Psychosplodge
06-18-2014, 06:37 AM
http://i57.tinypic.com/2elfbk2.jpg

Wolfshade
06-18-2014, 06:42 AM
http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/41D3zy4%2BDVL._SX342_.jpg

Gotthammer
06-18-2014, 07:15 AM
The ham is melting, the turkey is suspended in midair, the salami is hatching from its own egg. Why did we even come to the salvador deli?

eldargal
06-18-2014, 07:29 AM
Do they surrveal?:rolleyes:

Gotthammer
06-19-2014, 05:24 AM
https://31.media.tumblr.com/bc1c30b0bc20880a768f5633fd7c2e58/tumblr_mzcvp5ki6a1r1dd2eo1_500.jpg

Cliffhanger :cool:

Gotthammer
06-20-2014, 05:33 AM
https://38.media.tumblr.com/7f1b631df940bb259c638db2c3a019c7/tumblr_mt2hx3FKwZ1rjcfxro1_400.gif

Wolfshade
06-20-2014, 05:35 AM
http://i461.photobucket.com/albums/qq339/Spiritrebel/RSRC/RSRC_VisualPuns_039.jpg

Gotthammer
06-22-2014, 12:48 AM
How did the telephone propose to their girlfriend?

Gave her a ring :cool:

eldargal
06-22-2014, 05:44 AM
What do you call a well timed pun?

Punctual.;)

Psychosplodge
06-23-2014, 06:59 AM
http://i57.tinypic.com/2hrla28.jpg

Wolfshade
06-23-2014, 07:04 AM
lols

In a smiliar theme:
Far right Rear Admiral Butts
http://i.abimg.net/images/answers/275802/767291/a17TiconHayCap.jpg?1403477103a

- - - Updated - - -

Also almost any name whose rank is "seaman"

Psychosplodge
06-30-2014, 07:06 AM
http://i60.tinypic.com/vrdhxv.jpg

Gotthammer
07-11-2014, 02:16 AM
http://38.media.tumblr.com/0b1bd83263ba5b64ad00238f4b2a8a9a/tumblr_n3c93aOq7o1qb5gkjo1_500.jpg


You know what really gets my goat?


el chupacabra

Mr Mystery
07-11-2014, 11:36 AM
Yeah, well Vacuum Cleaners suck, and toilets take the piss.

Gotthammer
07-12-2014, 03:31 AM
I'm not sure of all the reasons why living in Switzerland is great but I do know the flag is a big plus.

Gotthammer
07-17-2014, 01:52 AM
http://i.imgur.com/RV6KJ29.jpg

Gotthammer
07-18-2014, 02:59 AM
since the last one was apparently too deep for y'all:

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

Psychosplodge
07-18-2014, 03:03 AM
keeley, keeley is close enough to work...

Wolfshade
07-18-2014, 03:25 AM
I remember hearing that in junior school.

Psychosplodge
07-18-2014, 03:30 AM
Yep...

White Tiger88
07-18-2014, 04:47 AM
since the last one was apparently too deep for y'all:

A man cheats on his girlfriend named Lorraine with a girl named Clearly.

Suddenly, Lorraine died.

At the funeral, the man stands up and sings, “I can see Clearly now, Lorraine is gone.”

I got this one and groaned a little.

Psychosplodge
07-23-2014, 03:55 AM
http://i62.tinypic.com/2rmuzpj.jpg

Wolfshade
07-23-2014, 03:57 AM
http://sluggy.com/images/comics/140723a.jpg

Gotthammer
07-23-2014, 04:19 AM
https://40.media.tumblr.com/6afe074fea51b5a90e13c961ab38ac70/tumblr_n2p0nyoGj31r868elo1_500.jpg

eldargal
07-23-2014, 06:53 AM
Haaa.

Gotthammer
07-23-2014, 07:10 AM
The tulmorian spy entered the enemy's camp and said to the vanksher: ''I didn't know your parnaps could glow'' :p

Psychosplodge
07-30-2014, 02:02 AM
http://i61.tinypic.com/xf6sfc.jpg

Psychosplodge
07-30-2014, 04:48 AM
If Linkin Park plays in the forest and no one is around to hear it, in the end, does it even matter?

Gotthammer
07-30-2014, 04:56 AM
I will confess that gave me a chuckle.

lobster-overlord
07-30-2014, 07:10 AM
If Linkin Park plays in the forest and no one is around to hear it, in the end, does it even matter?


No, but they left my sandwich in the warmer too long at McD's this morning, so I ended up with a limp biscuit.

Gotthammer
07-31-2014, 03:37 AM
oh dear...

https://40.media.tumblr.com/bc528eff5e56aa02f76916fa072583a4/tumblr_myyho4zWLz1qflqovo1_500.jpg

Gotthammer
07-31-2014, 07:49 AM
https://33.media.tumblr.com/6666bd5057b324ac7c9b33e99e38928d/tumblr_n7zus4brd21s9fpsho1_500.jpg

eldargal
07-31-2014, 07:49 AM
Lol.:p

Gotthammer
08-07-2014, 03:26 AM
A baguette in the butt would be a pain in the arse.

eldargal
08-07-2014, 04:08 AM
Ha!

Gotthammer
08-08-2014, 07:24 AM
My maths teacher called me average.

It was mean.

Psychosplodge
08-20-2014, 09:14 AM
http://i59.tinypic.com/2qlz85u.gif

eldargal
08-20-2014, 09:21 AM
Steak puns are a rare medium well done.

eldargal
08-27-2014, 08:55 AM
William Shakespeares wife was named Anne Hathaway, which just goes to show if Anne hath a Will, Anne Hathaway.

Psychosplodge
08-28-2014, 02:23 AM
http://i61.tinypic.com/2m42lqq.jpg

Gotthammer
08-31-2014, 09:29 AM
Have you seen the well-to-do, up and down Park Avenue
On that famous thoroughfare, with their noses in the air
High hats and Arrowed collars, white spats and lots of dollars
Spending every dime, for a wonderful time
If you’re blue and you don’t know where to go to
Why don’t you go where fashion sits

https://31.media.tumblr.com/5635f75208568f17253530154ad00ca2/tumblr_inline_n13or3MNrj1qetkzp.jpg

Different types who wear a daycoat, pants with stripes
And cut away coat, perfect fits,

https://31.media.tumblr.com/5635f75208568f17253530154ad00ca2/tumblr_inline_n13or3MNrj1qetkzp.jpg

Dressed up like a million dollar trouper
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)
Come let's mix where Rockefellers walk with sticks
Or umbrellas in their mitts

https://31.media.tumblr.com/5635f75208568f17253530154ad00ca2/tumblr_inline_n13or3MNrj1qetkzp.jpg

Tips his hat just like an english chappie
To a lady with a wealthy pappy (very snappy)
You'll declare it's simply topping to be there
And hear them swapping smart titbits

https://31.media.tumblr.com/5635f75208568f17253530154ad00ca2/tumblr_inline_n13or3MNrj1qetkzp.jpg

eldargal
08-31-2014, 09:35 AM
Ha! Not putting that in my mouth though.

Gotthammer
08-31-2014, 09:42 AM
Yeah, not a fan either. Prefer Captain's Table myself.

eldargal
08-31-2014, 09:47 AM
https://illogicalzen.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/shot0417.png
Good choice.;)

Gotthammer
08-31-2014, 09:50 AM
I would certainly eat at her table ;) (Bodacious Space Pirates is awesome)

Kirsten
08-31-2014, 10:20 AM
Have you seen the well-to-do, up and down Park Avenue

I have no idea what is going on

Psychosplodge
09-01-2014, 01:59 AM
I would certainly eat at her table ;) (Bodacious Space Pirates is awesome)

is that the anime title?

Gotthammer
09-01-2014, 02:04 AM
Yes. And it is hella gay (has a lesbain space wedding and all!)

Psychosplodge
09-01-2014, 02:05 AM
lols

eldargal
09-01-2014, 03:02 AM
Yes. And it is hella gay (has a lesbain space wedding and all!)
Awesome, will check it out. I had no idea, I googled 'anime female captain' and liked that one the most so.:p

Gotthammer
09-01-2014, 03:06 AM
Awesome, will check it out.

No space pirates til you've finished your K-On! :p

eldargal
09-01-2014, 03:17 AM
Wah.><
http://i132.photobucket.com/albums/q29/Em_Leingod/Anime/1240275228590.gif

Gotthammer
09-01-2014, 03:24 AM
http://38.media.tumblr.com/5aee5be5ae1e99f967e58c0bf19f75cc/tumblr_nahmgvMu4x1rb06tgo1_500.gif

http://31.media.tumblr.com/c6c6258479e627323ffca107e5e107a6/tumblr_nahmgvMu4x1rb06tgo2_500.gif

eldargal
09-06-2014, 01:37 AM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gu5g86nhWK4

Gotthammer
09-06-2014, 01:45 AM
I'm more on the horror side of the argument ;)

Wolfshade
09-06-2014, 02:10 AM
That General Ising gets around a fair bit...

Wolfshade
09-25-2014, 05:07 AM
http://ih3.redbubble.net/image.26968100.4540/fc,220x200,baby_blue.u1.jpg

Al Shut
09-25-2014, 11:32 AM
Oh my, this thread should be called pundemonium.

lobster-overlord
09-25-2014, 05:22 PM
Oh my, this thread should be called pundemonium.

SHUT yo mouth! (see what I did there, Al Shut?)

Psychosplodge
10-03-2014, 05:52 AM
http://i61.tinypic.com/2cqbbba.jpg

Gwhizz84
10-07-2014, 04:39 PM
Just read this thread while in an elevator. It was amusing on so many levels.

Psychosplodge
10-08-2014, 01:41 AM
I'm sure you found it very uplifting...

Psychosplodge
10-13-2014, 02:35 AM
http://i59.tinypic.com/o5yhyq.gif

spoiler periodic table /spoiler

Gotthammer
10-20-2014, 05:59 AM
https://41.media.tumblr.com/10863c30ef66ff827e11c35a99aac554/tumblr_nbym2jNpXk1r5hlkpo1_500.jpg

Not all goths wear black.

Psychosplodge
10-20-2014, 06:11 AM
Well no, old goths fade to grey...




http://40.media.tumblr.com/7b003061fb2afa4f52cf07aa67c0162f/tumblr_mvjhz4LekQ1qz581wo1_500.png

http://41.media.tumblr.com/f13fa2eab706116c5760c14817b8127e/tumblr_mvjhz4LekQ1qz581wo2_500.png

http://40.media.tumblr.com/fba4b21374282a7b46b1300be297be1a/tumblr_mvjhz4LekQ1qz581wo3_500.png

http://41.media.tumblr.com/84b784399280d6197107670a09155b4c/tumblr_mvjhz4LekQ1qz581wo4_500.png

http://36.media.tumblr.com/bf33381981153467c88dde99d792092b/tumblr_mvjhz4LekQ1qz581wo6_500.png

http://41.media.tumblr.com/8b1ea9151689082292556989baab8f2b/tumblr_mvjhz4LekQ1qz581wo7_500.png

http://40.media.tumblr.com/bf7afb3be95904b9e1b6711695b55376/tumblr_mvjhz4LekQ1qz581wo8_500.png

Wolfshade
10-20-2014, 12:36 PM
Awesome.

https://i.imgur.com/3nKAzfE.png

Wolfshade
11-04-2014, 06:24 AM
Tandem.

it may take you some time to get it.

eldargal
11-07-2014, 02:13 AM
https://31.media.tumblr.com/81e6a7df1b70955adc014981d23fc6f8/tumblr_inline_nelegbM6TY1qhwptg.jpg

Tyrendian
11-13-2014, 02:09 PM
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7544702464/h0F40EC6E/

Psychosplodge
11-14-2014, 03:16 AM
https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7544702464/h0F40EC6E/

Looks familiar (http://www.lounge.belloflostsouls.net/showthread.php?42185-The-Stupid-Pun-Thread&p=418759&viewfull=1#post418759)



https://scontent-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/t1.0-9/1526638_618374538245844_1335009857_n.jpg

Gotthammer
11-17-2014, 09:21 AM
Arteries will always hold a special place in my heart.

Wildeybeast
11-17-2014, 01:25 PM
Without wishing to be overly critical, I'm fairly certain that is just a bad joke rather than a pun.

lobster-overlord
11-17-2014, 07:17 PM
yeah, but it still speaks to the heart of this thread.

Kirsten
12-01-2014, 06:46 AM
http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd380/KirstenIGMB/551833_10100311850671163_964324472_n_zpse3983f3f.j pg (http://s1216.photobucket.com/user/KirstenIGMB/media/551833_10100311850671163_964324472_n_zpse3983f3f.j pg.html)

Mr Mystery
12-01-2014, 07:17 AM
http://i1216.photobucket.com/albums/dd380/KirstenIGMB/551833_10100311850671163_964324472_n_zpse3983f3f.j pg (http://s1216.photobucket.com/user/KirstenIGMB/media/551833_10100311850671163_964324472_n_zpse3983f3f.j pg.html)

I'm quite attached to my skeleton you know. It's always supported me, and I grew up with it.

Psychosplodge
12-22-2014, 04:10 AM
https://33.media.tumblr.com/1375bed3cacb164069ca9ef30e4a9e80/tumblr_muvtvgaqvn1r4gtoxo8_500.jpg

Psychosplodge
02-11-2015, 05:43 AM
https://38.media.tumblr.com/d02db382e70f77b11903fac4a7d9e5db/tumblr_nfim47A8GW1td4qp1o1_500.gif

Mr Mystery
02-11-2015, 07:23 AM
Vacuums suck.

Psychosplodge
02-16-2015, 03:24 AM
https://40.media.tumblr.com/4bc532e85b5163fb128a5e82fd2bd963/tumblr_nabbnyAQ4G1qel5vuo1_1280.jpg

lobster-overlord
02-16-2015, 09:26 AM
Vacuums suck.


Yeah, real original.


See what I did there?

John M.

Mr Mystery
02-16-2015, 09:55 AM
Plagirism?

Psychosplodge
02-23-2015, 05:21 PM
http://36.media.tumblr.com/249131c2a57d7943b6be2266b535e6ad/tumblr_nj5yk3tr1X1tjbznpo1_1280.jpg

Psychosplodge
02-24-2015, 08:30 AM
https://40.media.tumblr.com/49556f248180b37cb34e893d4b7f433d/tumblr_mq0ipf9Vnu1qfoppto1_500.jpg

Mr Mystery
02-24-2015, 08:42 AM
Pea Shooter?

I dunno.

I don't get it.

Glockamole?

Psychosplodge
02-24-2015, 08:48 AM
Glockamole...

Mr Mystery
03-02-2015, 06:15 AM
Puntastic Scottish Shop Names (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-31657712)

eldargal
03-11-2015, 08:34 AM
The best thing about going to the National Portrait Gallery is hanging with your Pepys.

:cool:

Gotthammer
03-11-2015, 08:42 AM
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal the other goes to a family in Spain they name him Juan.

Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He responds “they're twins if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal”


http://41.media.tumblr.com/48a0354f79bea03c47c65dc2856e7801/tumblr_nd38gpYKf41qa9todo1_400.jpg

It's a serfboard.


http://36.media.tumblr.com/f847401a38d9cc6987b54bf52ac073c5/tumblr_ngl9ilq9U51r7qfgho1_500.jpg

Wolfshade
03-11-2015, 02:25 PM
http://files.explosm.net/comics/Kris/hay.png

Psychosplodge
03-12-2015, 05:16 AM
https://i.imgur.com/J4OFpeE.jpg

Arkhan Land
03-12-2015, 11:53 AM
did you hear about the italian chef who died?

he pasta-way
the doctors cannoli do so much
but his life is a pizza history



(my girlfriend was really excited about this on reditt)

Kirsten
03-12-2015, 12:04 PM
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Amal the other goes to a family in Spain they name him Juan.

Years later Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. upon receiving the picture she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Amal.

He responds “they're twins if you've seen Juan you've seen Amal”


http://41.media.tumblr.com/48a0354f79bea03c47c65dc2856e7801/tumblr_nd38gpYKf41qa9todo1_400.jpg

It's a serfboard.


http://36.media.tumblr.com/f847401a38d9cc6987b54bf52ac073c5/tumblr_ngl9ilq9U51r7qfgho1_500.jpg

all good

KhornishGameHen
03-13-2015, 01:34 AM
What do you call fake mints?

Illegetimints!

---

Why were the Russian Tzars always such bad rulers...?

They were always... Roaminoff! :p

Kirsten
03-15-2015, 06:51 AM
Tim Burton is going to make a live action Dumbo. I can see it struggling to get off the ground. I think he needs to address the elephant in the room.

Gotthammer
03-15-2015, 08:09 AM
Tim Burton is going to make a live action Dumbo. I can see it struggling to get off the ground. I think he needs to address the elephant in the room.

Saw this in the side bar and was all "really I mean it's not like we need-"


http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/259/943/694.png

Mr Mystery
03-18-2015, 06:02 AM
Error 404

Your haiku could not be found

Try again later

Psychosplodge
06-04-2015, 06:55 AM
Horrifyingly painful (http://www.reddit.com/r/britishproblems/comments/38iapj/someone_from_the_alton_towers_crash_has_lost/)

eldargal
06-08-2015, 06:20 AM
https://36.media.tumblr.com/b1958f4a55337d6ce75b55eb73925524/tumblr_np4oanHmRY1qzag1wo1_500.jpg

Kirsten
06-08-2015, 06:21 AM
excellent

Psychosplodge
06-08-2015, 01:19 PM
http://i.imgur.com/pjXgRyw.jpg

I like the ones where people stick **** off 9gag across the middle to stop them claiming the credit XD

Psychosplodge
06-15-2015, 02:55 AM
https://40.media.tumblr.com/20aea596b5ac8d3c5a40f88709e71fd3/tumblr_npy9bzTWS41sz8tczo1_540.jpg

Kirsten
06-15-2015, 03:29 AM
http://i.imgur.com/pjXgRyw.jpg


no-one knows what it's like
to be the sad man
to be the batman
with dead parents

no-one fights back as hard
against those thieving
like I do
and I'll punch you

Gotham's streets
they aren't as empty
as Wayne Manor
seems to be

I've no powers
only money
my fists are vengeance
I work for free

no-one knows what it's like
to be the sad man
to be the batman
with dead parents.

Mr Mystery
06-19-2015, 06:42 AM
http://churchm.ag/wp-content/uploads/2014/02/Star-Wars-Laser-Gun-Pew-Pew.jpg

Psychosplodge
06-30-2015, 04:05 AM
From Tumblr:

so i was talking to my dad about guardians of the galaxy and when i mentioned chris pratt my dad sighs and says “I dont know how parents could be mean enough to name their child after a fried rodent” and i sat there looking really confused and he just whispered “crisp rat.”

Mr Mystery
07-01-2015, 09:38 AM
http://viz.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Screen-Shot-2015-06-30-at-10.04.24.png