Let's Play a Game...

[ElectricPaladin]

Here are the rules:

You must describe in what way you would save the galaxy of Warhammer 40k. However, you must adhere to the following limitations:

1) You have only your own personal intelligence and knowledge to bring to bear, plus...
2) You may pick any three beings said to be alive in the setting right now to be your allies (alive and in a condition to help you). These three beings can be from any background, BUT...
3) If they don't get along naturally, you will have to explain how you are going to get them to get along. The fact that they (for whatever reason) trust you isn't going to be enough.
4) You must describe how these entities, acting in concert, can save the world.

Let's keep this away from "my Primarch can beat up your Farseer" nonsense. I'm genuinely curious to hear what sort of stuff comes out of the endless fonts of 40k lore that are my fellow posters.

[This Dave]

Depends on what your definition of "saving" is. Every race has pretty much has their own version of what would make the galaxy "good", from a full on Pax Imperialis from the Imperium to a lifeless void by the Tyranids.

[ElectricPaladin]

Depends on what your definition of "saving" is. Every race has pretty much has their own version of what would make the galaxy "good", from a full on Pax Imperialis from the Imperium to a lifeless void by the Tyranids.

I chose not to define "saved" so that anyone could play... but I'm assuming from the point of view of someone with, well, a point of view. Tyranids are pests - like 'em or not, the Eldar are people.

[jifel]

The best way to save the galaxy would be for Chaos to triumph. Only Chaos has the strength to both conquer the galaxy, and also have the galaxy be existing when it's done. (Neither Nids nor Crons would leave much of a galaxy if they won).
My methods are simple: Take Lorgar, Perturabo and Abbadon as my allies. They are the leaders of the three Legions that have stayed the most coherent, and Perturabo is the only Primarch who both still intervenes and is sane, making him the ideal choice, plus is the Leader of the largest single unified Legion. Abbadon hast he fires of rage hot inside, and has the most Chaotic forces loyal to him. Not as coherent as the Iron Warriors, but when he raises his banner he posseses the most powerful Chaos horde. Finally, Lorgar could command the Word Bearers if he came out of hiding. They have also remained relatively organized, and should almost all answer the call if Lorgar emerged. These three combined Legions, plus the many Daemons they would summon, could carve out a truly terrible chunk of the Imperium. Cadia falls, then the whole Segmentum, and with their defenses weakened by all the other stuff Terra would fall within the Century. If Chaos claims Terra, then within a few hundred years most of the Imperium has been corrupted and the united Chaos-Imperium could possibly defeat the Tyranids, then maybe the Necrons.

Biggest issue is convincing Lorgar to play along. How to do this? If I talked to him, I would point out that the Tyranid and Necron threats are so powerful that Humanity's existence is threatened. Only Chaos can save them, but it must be done now. With Lorgar back in the game, Abbadon would be more than happy to launch a Crusade, and Perturabo (with the IW being a very active Legion) would be more than happy to jump in.

[Chris Copeland]

I really think the 40K Universe is doomed. It's one minute till midnight and Death is knocking at the door. The Hive Fleets have only just begun to hit our galaxy and they seem nigh-unstoppable. In addition, the Forces of Chaos are seeping through into reality at an ever quickening pace. The Golden Throne is broken and not repairable... I just don't see anyway out of this. The best that Mankind can do is fight valiantly until the last...

[Mr.Pickelz]

High Lords of Terra push the little red button on the Golden Throne which activates an Exterminatus protocol in the chair. Using the power of the Emperor, the Golden Throne targets and kills non-humans (including mutants) leaving only the "pure" safe and in control. Inquisitors and heads of the Ecleesiarchy (spelling?) keep the "loyal" masses in check and a new age for Mankind emerges, with Warp Storms fading back (due to a side-effect of the Throne's power) Man is once able to conquer the stars once again, but this time, without the need of psykers and mutants. With the Emperor's essence fueling the anti-human destruction, the last of his perceived life-force is removed, and the Emperor's physical form dissipates in a glow of bright energy, leaving the Throne empty for the first time since the Horus Heresy...

[charliemachina]

Marneus Calagar (and therefore the loyalty of all the descendents of Gulliman)

The most senior member of the Illuminati avaliable (and therefore a load of other Illuminati and other bods when believe in that kind of thing) we shall call him High Inquisitor Bob.

Cypher

After assisting High Inquisitor (and member of the Illuminati) Bob to capture Cypher. Marneus Calagar is persuaded by Cypher and Bob that the only way to save the Imperium is to free the emperor from the Golden Throne.

Marneus and and the boys in blue take Cypher to Terra and fight their way to the golden throne so Cypher can do his do and free the emperor.

The moment Cypher frees the Emperor the Illuminati sacrifice the Sensei bringing about the Birth of the Star Child resulting in a new golden age for humanity.

[Psychosplodge]

The Golden Throne is broken and not repairable... I just don't see anyway out of this. The best that Mankind can do is fight valiantly until the last...

Have you tried cycling the power supply?

[Mr Mystery]

Have you tried cycling the power supply?

Have you tried kicking it?

[SaveModifier]

I'd have The Silent King, Fabius Bile on my side, and Ahriman, with the traitors working together, we resurrect Horus properly, his vision is needed to unite the scattered Traitors once more, with them focused, the now disperate remains of the Legionnes Astartes will fall and Terra will onced more be within his taloned grasp, and again, as the Cabal foresaw, once he ascends to the throne of humannity, he will be disgusted with himself, and rampage across the galaxy wiping out the human race, thus, the galaxy is saved. Until the Nids eat everthing except the Necrons, then they leave the galaxy and move to the next one, so, by default, Necrons win. And me, best buds with the Silent King along side them

[Ivarr]

Corvus Corax, Leman Russ and Cypher. Cypher frees the Emperor from his prison, Corax and Russ return and rally all loyal Space Marines and the rest of the Imperium of Man. Emperor is reborn and the New Crusade leads to downing of the Necrons and driving away of the Tyranids. Orks are culled, but remain a constant threat which keeps the Imperium on its toes. Eldar fight to the last soul, but the dying race finally ceases to exist. The Tau are exterminated with extreme prejudice like the smiley faced insects that they are. The Chaos gates are closed and chaos storms subside as the Emperor grows stronger. Galaxy is "saved"...for now.

[Dominion]

I would have the Fabricator-General of the Adeptus Mechanicus (I don't think he is named), Marneus Augustus Calgar of the Ultramarines Chapter of the Adeptus Astartes & Eldrad Ulthran of Craftworld Ulthanash Shelwe of the Eldar.

Marneus Calgar with my help, establish the Adeptus Astartes as a completely indepent organisation who cannot be interfered with by the Inquisiton at all, & the Imperial Truth must be completely restored in the minds of the Space Marines, understandably the faith the Imperium has in the Emperor strengthens it, but some Space Marine Chapters are starting to worship him, which cannot be abided, and a few thousand less people believing in the Emperor wont change anything.

The Fabricator-General will work on innovating the technology of the Imperium of Man. The stagnation which has afflicted the Imperium has been only slowly reversed until now, & with the help of Ulthran who is the head of Craftworld Ulthwé they will help restart the Imperial Webway Project, which will nullify the regular contact to the warp the Imperium is exposed too by travelling viâ warp travel. & I know a techpriest would never turn down the oppertunity to work with the limitless technological advancements gained by working with the Eldar. Mark IV Power Armour & instantaneous travel as far as the eye can see. I would convince Marneus Calgar to work with the Eldar with promises of healing Roboute Guilliman with the technological advancements made when working in conjuction with the Eldar.

Yada yada yada, maybe find Jaghatai Khan in the Webway, ultimately I am quite purist so having different races like Tau or Eldar don't fit into my perfect plan although I wouldn't have the heart to exterminate them, although I want them not to exist. Maybe with the Imperial Webway we wouldn't need the Astronomican, Emperor dies (maybe gets reincarnated!) no more Tyranids getting attracted to the Galaxy, find the two missing legions, use the allegedly stasis locked gene seed of the Traitor Legions to create 9 new chapters! Maybe find the entire STC Databases, Send millions of pure Adeptus Astartes to cleanse the warp, try and kill all the Dæmons (not banish, kill) basically end it on a nice note, maybe try and find the other lost Primarchs.&c.

Perhaps a bit meta, but the main idea is that Adeptus Astartes should all believe in the Imperial Truth & the ancient Fellblades & Emperor Titans could really help them, since technology went back around 10,000 years and now increases about 5% as quickly. & the Imperial Webway would basically let the Emperor die in peace, since he just sits a withered corpse. Less psykers getting sacrificed.

[Necron2.0]

In the grim dark, they have virus bombs. They also have "machine spirits" that can infect and destroy other machines, including Necrons. Therefore, the solutions is somewhat simple and straight forward, assuming there is anyone anywhere with a modicum of technical skill.

Create viruses (both biological and cybernetic) capable of exterminating all life, in every form (be it organic or synthetic), and disperse them generally, liberally and widely. Wipe the galaxy completely clean of every form of life imaginable.

The gods of chaos will die without the emotional psychic feedback to feast upon. The immaterium will be calmed. The hive fleets will be eradicated, never to be seen again. The humans will finally be at peace. The orks will be pacified. The Tau will truly be serving the greater good. The arrogant and ignorant prattle of the Eldar will finally be silenced.

Eventually, after trillions of years, life will once again slither its way back out of the muck, with a fighting chance to get it right this time.

[Anggul]

In the grim dark, they have virus bombs. They also have "machine spirits" that can infect and destroy other machines, including Necrons. Therefore, the solutions is somewhat simple and straight forward, assuming there is anyone anywhere with a modicum of technical skill.

Create viruses (both biological and cybernetic) capable of exterminating all life, in every form (be it organic or synthetic), and disperse them generally, liberally and widely. Wipe the galaxy completely clean of every form of life imaginable.

The gods of chaos will die without the emotional psychic feedback to feast upon. The immaterium will be calmed. The hive fleets will be eradicated, never to be seen again. The humans will finally be at peace. The orks will be pacified. The Tau will truly be serving the greater good. The arrogant and ignorant prattle of the Eldar will finally be silenced.

Eventually, after trillions of years, life will once again slither its way back out of the muck, with a fighting chance to get it right this time.

It wouldn't be possible to apply such things on a galactic scale. While you prepared to do so or even started doing it in part of the galaxy, someone would attack and kill you. You would never be able to apply it on such a huge scale for the same reason the Imperium don't get anywhere, they're too busy trying to survive and hold back the tide of death to take the time out to do anything else. You might get a couple of systems before being assaulted en masse by various factions and stopped.

The Purge are trying to do the same thing in fact.

If the myth is to be believed though, the Rhana Dandra will do just that, wipe out life and chaos ready for a fresh start free of the awful powers that currently reside in the galaxy and its warp reflection.

[Necron2.0]

I said the solution is simple and straight forward. I did not say the execution would be. ;)

However, with as much shenanigans going on in cloistered temples, webway portals and your basic back alleys as there is, I'm sure there are at least four and twenty cabals out there who've come to the same conclusion that there really is just the one solution. As much as it grieves me to say it, the ones with the best chances of pulling it off would come from a hidden Eldar Craftworld, one with plenty of psykers to mask their intentions, and with the resources and ability to strike everywhere, all at once.

Now, seguing to something a bit more down to earth and grounded in reality ... let's talk about the one and only realistic solution to "man made" global warming, if we're honest and actually serious about solving it. :D Of course, that would be a topic for "the place of forgetting."