Screw This Week in the Eye

[ElectricPaladin]

Monday
• I find out that the reason the ADHD twins live with grandma is because their dad killed their mom when they were eighteen months old.
• Another kid's uncle alludes to something so awful happening to the kid that he nearly breaks down in tears in the meeting. I still don't know what it was because he then decides to just talk about it with the counselor.

Tuesday
• The lesbian teenager in my class tells me that her mom's not taking it too well, to the point that she's forcing her daughter to keep dating a boy that she - of course - has categorically no interest in. And as a result she's starting to have suicidal thoughts. The kid, not the mom.

Today
• A girl starts cutting in my class, to the point that blood starts dripping from her arm.

I am done with this week. Can it be Saturday now?

[DrLove42]

Eeesh. Tough week

And its only month 2 of the academic year!

[ElectricPaladin]

Eeesh. Tough week

And its only month 2 of the academic year!

I KNOW!

It's like an entire freaking season of Boston Public happened in the last three days.

[Nabterayl]

I'm really, really sorry dude.

Tuesday
• The lesbian teenager in my class tells me that her mom's not taking it too well, to the point that she's forcing her daughter to keep dating a boy that she - of course - has categorically no interest in. And as a result she's starting to have suicidal thoughts. The kid, not the mom.
Seriously? I mean ... wouldn't the boy kind of have a problem with that?


Today
• A girl starts cutting in my class, to the point that blood starts dripping from her arm.
I don't know how involved you can or want to get, and I imagine you have a fair amount of resources to hand on the cutting issue, but if I can recommend a blog (http://laradavid.blogspot.com/search/label/Cutting) by a very dear teacher friend of mine who is a recovering cutter, I hope it might help.

[Deadlift]

Only recently I had been thinking of making a career change, getting out of the business and retraining as a Phys Ed Teacher. But then you hear stories like this and I can't help but think "screw that".

I would be an emotional wreck if I had to deal with that kind of drama. You have my sympathies mate, and I hope you have a beer and the end of the day.

[Wolfshade]

Sounds like a job for the councillor..

With the girl who cut herself you could always ask her "what is it that makes you feel like you need to do this" and what she is feeling when she is doing it. But this all depends on how confident you feel in approaching that since it is a very sensitive subject. Certainly I couldn't have that sort of conversation as I lack the emotional intelligence to go into that minefield.

Try and avoid asking "why" questions as they can sound confrontational and antagonistic and that won't get you anywhere.

Mrs Wolfy suggests this as she is trained to deal with self harmers.

[Cap'nSmurfs]

Sorry to hear it, pal. Best of luck with it all.

[ElectricPaladin]

Only recently I had been thinking of making a career change, getting out of the business and retraining as a Phys Ed Teacher. But then you hear stories like this and I can't help but think "screw that".

I would be an emotional wreck if I had to deal with that kind of drama. You have my sympathies mate, and I hope you have a beer and the end of the day.

Are you kidding me, I have the best job ever. It's huge fun.

Just, this week has been unusually hard.

[YorkNecromancer]

I've had very similar weeks. Also, I've lived with quite serious depression for about three years, and these kind of things did not help, so I can relate. I know how rough things can get, but don't forget: it is temporary. You're just going through a random spike of these all happening at once. It will pass.

If you find it continues, I recommend this: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Trauma-Stewardship-Everyday-Caring-Others/dp/157675944X/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1380743674&sr=8-1&keywords=trauma+stewardship

Very useful book.

As for cutters, the best way to deal is just to ask for help from someone up the chain of command, pass it to them as per your school's pastoral management policy, and then (if the person is interested) be someone they can come to in future, or else simply not judge. You can't stop them, you can only be someone who listens. I've dealt with many cutters over the years, and the internet's conviction that it's all attention-whore showing off is wrong, because the people who post that crap are mostly ill-informed, uneducated idiots spouting useless twaddle into the atmosphere. Mostly it's very real, and very serious. Listen, reassure them you will take them seriously and not judge, and just keep an eye on things if you think they might get worse.

Make sure you log everything too; those records can be essential.

Then make sure you have some ice-cream or something. It's hard not to take the job home, but it's really important not to. Remember that a disclosure of something horrific is often a sign of the greatest respect. We don't reveal our private horrors to people we do not trust. Awful, but I find it heartening.

[Deadlift]

Are you kidding me, I have the best job ever. It's huge fun.

Just, this week has been unusually hard.

But just how do you stop yourself from getting too emotionally involved. Parents evening would likely end quite badly if I had to talk to as an example, the mother of the young lesbian being made to date a boy.

[ElectricPaladin]

But just how do you stop yourself from getting too emotionally involved. Parents evening would likely end quite badly if I had to talk to as an example, the mother of the young lesbian being made to date a boy.

I do get emotionally involved. I love my kids. I break my heart over them every day. Then I have a lovely wife and a set of entertaining hobbies to put me back together again at the end of the day. This also means that every time they get it, every time they win the game, it fills me with this indescribable joy... It's a fast ride, man, but I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

As far as my lesbian student goes, I will explain to her mother that "straight child" is off the table, reducing her choices to "gay child" and "dead child" and there is nobody who can get in my way. I'm tenured. I do what I want. :cool:.

At the moment, though, I don't have the girl's permission to talk to her mom. I'd rather maintain my position as part of her support network than go Fist of an Angry God on her mother, so for the time being that's not going to happen.

[daboarder]

you poor bloke paladin, hope things wind up better.

[Roy Gibson]

A girl starts cutting in my class, to the point that blood starts dripping from her arm.

I know that feeling. I have a friend in school who has been cutting a while and im just gonna be completely honest here since i hate lying.. i used to as well. What got me to stop was talking to a close friend of mine and since then i have been trying to help my friend who cuts. There isnt an instant fix to it, but as long as someone is there for them it helps. Maybe just say if she ever needs to talk to someone that you are there as its obvious you are a good teacher that actually cares about their students :)