Your Most Painful Moment ?

[Deadlift]

Right then, it's gotten far to ****ing cuddly down here recently.

Time to man (yes I said MAN) things up and compare scars. We have all had horrible accidents and the war wounds to prove it. Take a photo if you want but I want to hear about the nasty, bloody and horrible things that have happened to you.

The more gruesome the better, but no bull ****. It's got to be real. Parasites are good, knife accidents, operations gone wrong. Whatever your story it's time to share.

No emotional **** either. I don't care if your flowery hearts been broken, this isn't that kind of thread.

So lets all wince and laugh at each other and leave the bleating to the other threads.

Over to you, and don't let me down.

:D

[Kirsten]

well I went over the handlebars of a push bike on a dusty concrete road and removed the skin over the top of my knuckle, elbows, and knees. bone and ligaments visible on my hand, could hardly climb stairs for four days because of the wounds on my knees making bending my legs near impossible...

I have also burnt my arm on a 300 degree c oven door.

[Wildeybeast]

I'll see you Kirsten and raise you.
Fell, or possibly jumped off to avoid being run over by (I don't remember that part), a quad bike in the desert in Egypt whilst doing about 30mph. Broken collar bone (leading to amusingly permanently deformed shoulder), three fractured ribs, removed most of the skin from the left side of my body and severe concussion after hitting my head on a rock. Split the crash helmet in half, which the doctor was adamant had I not been wearing I would not be writing this now. Missed 6 weeks of my PGCE after that, though I did manage to man up enough to write my dissertation the following week and to go to a job interview. Which I got. Cos that's the way I roll.

[Ze_Shoggoth]

Right then, it's gotten far to ****ing cuddly down here recently.

Time to man (yes I said MAN) things up and compare scars. We have all had horrible accidents and the war wounds to prove it. Take a photo if you want but I want to hear about the nasty, bloody and horrible things that have happened to you.

The more gruesome the better, but no bull ****. It's got to be real. Parasites are good, knife accidents, operations gone wrong. Whatever your story it's time to share.

No emotional **** either. I don't care if your flowery hearts been broken, this isn't that kind of thread.

So lets all wince and laugh at each other and leave the bleating to the other threads.

Over to you, and don't let me down.

:D


Could you be anymore manly??

Okay here goes I have 2 huge knife scars one on my wrist one on my palm, put my hand down in the dark and slice time . The one on my wrist was kinda stupid I went ooh this knife isn't sharp look. It was stupid .I had to heal it myself as I was too embarrassed to go to the hospital.

Fatagn!

[Kirsten]

yeah but I bet you went to hospital :p
I did a first aid course at uni (about my fourth now) and technically should have been to A&E about four times now...

also, I once had a mouse trap close on my fingers, so there. top that.

[Wildeybeast]

yeah but I bet you went to hospital :p
I did a first aid course at uni (about my fourth now) and technically should have been to A&E about four times now...

also, I once had a mouse trap close on my fingers, so there. top that.

Of course I went to hospital, you kinda have to get X-rays and ultrasound scans. Also, my mum made me. Especially after she thought I was dead. I've never gotten to the bottom of why me fitting all over the floor convinced her I was dead, but there we go.

As for topping hand injuries, I have punched a glass picture frame and picked shards of glass out of my hand. I have also dropped a glass whilst very drunk and picked it up to drink out of again, resulting in more shards of glass being removed from said hand.

Your move.

[DarkLink]

I was wrestling a bear this one time, and threw it off a cliff, but it grabbed my ankle and dragged me down with it, so I had to walk off a broken leg on the way home. True story (actually, part of it is).

[Kirsten]

nope, I win with the mouse trap :p

[Deadlift]

Could you be anymore manly??

It's mostly put on :D

Right then, torn or ripped scrotum from a slight accident with a badly fitting ball protector and a boot stud. Testicles were fine though, kids to prove it :)

Thumb on right hand is a bit of a mess, slammed shut my safe door on it. Reconstructed at hospital over 3 ops.

Ripped the bit of skin that holds your tongue in place tripping over with a trumpet in my mouth. Lots of blood. Another trip to A and E

No scar but got a huge belt (electric shock) from a machine at work that sent me flying into a Sega Rally 3 with enough force to break the seat. Another trip to Torbay Hospital.

Basically my accident book at work is full of me :)

[Kirsten]

my dad got stamped on playing rugby years ago and got a stud clear through his lip. was pretty messy in the club house bar afterwards, all his bitter kept leaking out the hole

[Wrath of Azkaellon]

Right then, torn or ripped scrotum from a slight accident with a badly fitting ball protector and a boot stud.

:eek: Ouch!

Nothing special here, well I did faceplant into the floor once smashed two teeth and had to have my lip sewn back up.

[spaceman91]

Not my moment but a mate. A "lady" (used in the loosed sense) stamped on his gentelmens area with a stiletto. i know that, that isn't spelt right.
Edit: after seeing the last few posts i shall add the detail i thought tame. she popped his testical with it. needless to say he lost 50% of his manhood that night.

[Deadlift]

Not my moment but a mate. A "lady" (used in the loosed sense) stamped on his gentelmens area with a stiletto. i know that, that isn't spelt right.
Edit: after seeing the last few posts i shall add the detail i thought tame. she popped his testical with it. needless to say he lost 50% of his manhood that night.

Ouch, but still funny all the same. Not for him at the time though. :eek:

[Denzark]

I'm currently off work having had some mad back spasm playing 5-a-side. Tranqed up on Diazepam and some horse pain killers. I can only move very slowly, and am getting laughed at by the Memsahib for shuffling around hunched over like an old man. It is probably the most pain I have been in.

Not much claret spilt in the past and anyway I faint if I see medium quantities of my life blood.

The most scared I have been was under rocket fire in Iraq. The boyos were the Man U of rocket teams and were landing 122mm rockets bang on at maximum range. one landed within 50m of the porta cabin I was in and bounced it - I was within 1" of wetting myself.

[Deadlift]

I sat though both my wife's c-section deliveries. That was messy I can tell you guys. 1st one was an emergency. After 3 days of labour the poor lass was running out of steam so the decision was madevto rush down to theatre. There was a paper barrier placed across my wife's upper half just below her breast to screen us from seeing the actual operation. I sat next to her head the whole time and we chatted whilst the surgeons got on and opened her up. What they didn't tell me was that the huge light in the ceiling was surrounded by a huge mirror. Looking up I got a good inside view of my mrs, which was really very unpleasant and quite shocking. It was at this point I thanked my lucky stars that I was born a man.

[Deadlift]

I'm currently off work having had some mad back spasm playing 5-a-side. Tranqed up on Diazepam and some horse pain killers. I can only move very slowly, and am getting laughed at by the Memsahib for shuffling around hunched over like an old man. It is probably the most pain I have been in.

Not much claret spilt in the past and anyway I faint if I see medium quantities of my life blood.

The most scared I have been was under rocket fire in Iraq. The boyos were the Man U of rocket teams and were landing 122mm rockets bang on at maximum range. one landed within 50m of the porta cabin I was in and bounced it - I was within 1" of wetting myself.

Braver man than me Den, I would have shat myself.

[spaceman91]

Had a think and i can only remember once ever doing any damage to my body. I tore all the ligaments in one of my ankles (can't even remember which one). o what a boring life i lead.
I have had other thing happen but never and damage as such. spent three months i hospital once but that was just my asthma trying to kill me off.
The more i think about it, it must be true that we youngsters are made of rubber and magic.

[Kirsten]

The most scared I have been was under rocket fire in Iraq. The boyos were the Man U of rocket teams and were landing 122mm rockets bang on at maximum range. one landed within 50m of the porta cabin I was in and bounced it - I was within 1" of wetting myself.

reminds me of a story Ross Noble told during a gig over here. He was doing a gig for the armed forces in the middle east and got a tour of the camp. as they were walking round a surface to air missile was launched from the base. a fresh faced private only just arrived stared in shock and went 'you'd have to be f**king mental to fly one of those!'

[Deadlift]

I met Ross Noble at Goodwood festival of speed last year. When I say met I mean to say I thrust my hand in his general direction and insisted he talked to me. Nice fella and he humoured me for a bit and chatted about the best bits of the festival so far. Proper biker type he is.

[Denzark]

To go minorly off topic, this clip is a rocket attack (NSFW there is some choice language). The tracer firing into the sky is the massive Phalanx Gatling guns letting rip - they try and shoot the rockets or mortars out of the sky (you can see at least one get hit). The noise of Phalanx is like the gods trying to tear the sky apart. (I imagine that when Assault cannons are fired in game!).

The siren is the worst thing - when that goes off everyone eats floor. It digs into your soul and never leaves you. I have seen a clever dick use it as his mobile ring tone, and get chinned when a recent returnee had finished taking cover on the floor of a bar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o4gYLq84yr8

[Wolfshade]

Either:

Oblique spiral fracture from an illegal tackle while playing rugby on a frozen pitch.

Or

Crashed into the back of another cyclist who was cycling at night, in fog, with no lights, no reflectors, no hi-viz, no helmet. Took the skin off my arm and leg, it took about amonth before I could walk properly.

[Denzark]

Does anyone else in moments of extreme, arrgh hurty pain, take that second's pause, and then scream like buggery - a bit like the Predator giving itself first aid?

Has anyone ever used a first aid thing called 'new skin' - which burns like xenomorph blood?

[Deadlift]

Does anyone else in moments of extreme, arrgh hurty pain, take that second's pause, and then scream like buggery - a bit like the Predator giving itself first aid?

Has anyone ever used a first aid thing called 'new skin' - which burns like xenomorph blood?

Never had the pleasure of trying "new skin" I was mostly sewn up in my few scrapes. As more my reaction to hurting myself, I generally jump up and down shouting f@ck lots of times.

[Denzark]

Don't I'd genuinely rather be fingered by a rhinoceros, it hurts that much. Remember kids, I do these things so you don't have to.

[Deadlift]

http://newskinproducts.com/

This stuff ? They all look so happy in the pictures.

[Kirsten]

should have had a few stitches in my time, hold it under the tap then some kitchen roll and sellotape does the job

[Denzark]

http://newskinproducts.com/

This stuff ? They all look so happy in the pictures.

So do women in tampax adverts...

[Wolfshade]

The worst injury I have been involved in was a collapsed scrum where the hooker broke his neck, wasn't able to partake in phyiscal activity from that point forward.

I've never managed to break my skin with my broken bones so that is always good.

[Deadlift]

Superglues good too. Patched myself up with that a few times.

[Wolfshade]

Vasaline is a good one, stops bleeding and keeps the wound clean ready for stitches

[Deadlift]

So do women in tampax adverts...

See now my mrs has caught me looking at The tampax website on my iPad. How do I explain that one lol
Doesn't help the page I got from google was "how to use a tampon"

[DarkLink]

The worst injury I have been involved in was a collapsed scrum where the hooker broke his neck, wasn't able to partake in phyiscal activity from that point forward.


Sterling Archer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0071304/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Oh my god, you killed a hooker!
ISIS Comptroller Cyril Figgis (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0663177/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): Callgirl! She was a callgirl!
Sterling Archer (http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0071304/?ref_=tt_trv_qu): No Cyril, when they're dead, they're just hookers!


...I should probably feel bad about making this joke.

[scadugenga]

I've been stabbed three times via fencing injuries (broken blades). Wrist (missed the important stuff) hand, and chest. Closest I came to dying was fencing outdoors in too cold weather. My opponent came in with a high line fleche. My parry snapped the first third of his blade off, and the rest was on target for my neck. I was able to beat the rest of his blade to the side with my off hand. I still don't know how. I likely should have died that day.

I've sprained my ankles more times that I can easily count, but haven't broken any bones (save a toe, which really shouldn't count). Most painful was probably when I was going on a night-hike as a prep for a Grand Canyon backpacking trip. My wife (then girlfriend) and I were on the way back from a short 5-miler (with about 40lbs in the packs) when some effing moron on a bike doing about 25mph comes out of nowhere behind me and blasts into me. Now, I'm 6'8", and at the time about (to you Brits) 18 stone. Me, the bike, and the idiot riding it go flying asss over teakettle about 15' down the gravel path and I ended up tangled in the bike. That. Hurt.

Funniest story (not to me) is at a combat larp event. I'm helping some friends run newbies in a night fight. We're fighting down a path--nigh on pitch effing dark, and it's starting to get a bit crowded. I take a small sidestep to the right to clear more room. Except--there's some odd lip at the end of the path I didn't see. I didn't finish the step. The raised part ended up acting as a fulcrum and I start to fall sideways. Time seems to slow when something bad's going to happen. I start to go into a side breakfall (yay training!) except...the ground's not there. I distinctly remember having the time to think "huh, I should've hit the ground by now" before landing on some broken tree limbs, mud, and muck about 10 feet below.

Oh, and the mud/muck? Turns out (as I found out a day or so later) it was covered in vucking poisoned ivy. Which I am highly allergic to.

The worse injuries generally are the ones that elicit the least amount of noise. True, but unfortunate story from my SCA days. Guy I knew was working on his great helm while the rest of the guys were dinging about with other projects. Swearing more than occasionally as minor annoyances were suffered with things like hammers, pincers, pliers, etc. Run of the mill stuff when dealing with making metal do stuff it doesn't naturally want to do. Talbot (great helm guy) was the most experienced, and for whatever eff all reason, was sitting cross-legged while trying to drill (yes, a corded power drill) holes into his helm.

Which was sitting in his lap.

If you're not wincing, you're not doing the math. Yes, he drilled through the metal downward into his scrotum. All that was heard was a pained quiet "meep!"

I've been told he was much more vocal at the hospital.

[eldargal]

Hm let's see:

Age 13: Met my first proper internet friend who I didn't know was a complete nutjob and had decided I was the Wh*ore Babylon (no I'm not making this up see above re: nutjob). The obvious solution being to nail me to a cross he had hidden in a copse near the supposedly 'neutral' meeting group and rape me. Fortunately my brothers arrived on scene and beat the crap out of him before he could nail my second hand to the cross. Having a great big nail through your hand hurts. This is also when I decided that I was going to get strong and skillful enough to be able to defend myself.

Got stabbed in the thigh by a sharp display spear at a reenactment event because some idiot was being an idiot. Hit the bone, missed an artery by a tiny bit and hurt a lot. Glad I listened to mother when she said 'Always wear enticing underwear in case you find yourself in hospital'.


So do women in tampax adverts...
That's cos they are all thrilled they avoided this:
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4gfn73C7S1r6l5bco6_1280.jpg

[Deadlift]

Lol :)

@ Scad, it's funny you know of somebody who had an accident with a drill and their gentlemans area. I know of someone too. In the arcade business were quite a close bunch and most of us know each other in the business quite well. A story goes a fella was fitting a new lock to the bottom of a fruit machine and had the removable door on his lab whilst making some modifications. Drilled into his penis.

Another amusement arcade story now in folklore is of a small child who managed to crawl into the back of a toy crane though the back door where the power supply is kept, he was electrocuted and died. Whilst the incident tripped the RCD on the main supply board nobody thought to check the machines and just turned everything back on. Obviously the boy was report missing but only later found (days as the tale goes) when somebody noticed an odd smell coming from the crane.


@Eldar that's a bit grim.

[eldargal]

Ooh, injured penis stories, I have some of those. One of the men in my reenactment group took a poorly aimed sword blow to the groin, cracked his protector thing, forced the two edged inwards then snapped back into place taking the tip of his phallus with them. Voila; impromptu circumcision.

[Deadlift]

That's a ****ing scary situation to be in at 13 EG, thank goodness for Brothers.

[Psychosplodge]

Nope. Nothing to really join in with this. Which I suppose is a good thing.

@DL that made me flinch, at least you didn't psot pictures :D

@'Zark That tracer looks very pretty. Does it work?

@EG When he said he was going to nail you... Seriously that sounds horrific.

and please no more injured penis stories, my balls are already trying to crawl up inside my body :D

[DrLove42]

I sound like i've escaped pretty lightly. Split knee cap open at school, have a scar on my hand where I hit it with an axe (the blunt end thankfully or i'd be missing my right hand)

[Bigred]

OK, nothing truly horrific like EG's... yikes ma'am!

Went out to get mail from old mailbox visiting parents house years back. Open the dark box, grab an ancient piece of mail, take two steps and look down...
to see about 30 texas wasps covering my hand and wrist - and they all bite in sync...

I still remember what that felt like...

[olberon]

my most painful moment isn't about physical pain. but more about the mental.........

Me and the Mrs where having dinner in a fancy restaurant with some friends. the guy who was with us is know as a regular hillbilly (no offence to hillbillies btw) and has a hard time keeping himself in check. Sooooo a fancy restaurant wasn't probably a good plan to start with, yes he guy is a real pig but has hart of gold and that's what counts.

During the main course we where all chatting about whats the best stuff you have eaten. and the guy kinda raised his voice and said fresh shaved <censored> you should know it was a small restaurant and they had full house. The restaurant actually went quiet. and he went on about it to some other guest there. in the meantime my wife had fled to the toilets together with his wife and so i was sitting there with mr. hillbilly himself and i have to say it was the most (almost) awkward moment in my life. The manager graced us with a small visit and politly asked us if we would mind finishing our plate at mc donalds and kinda kicked us out of the place. (big plus was we didnt have to pay for the dinner)



Another painful moment is the time i got shot in the foot , not by myself but by my smaller brother who was playing around with a gun. and left me with a missing toe and some vans with a hole in one of them. i actually kept the sneaker as a memory to show to my (grad) children as it makes a good story about my missing toe.

[Denzark]

@'Zark That tracer looks very pretty. Does it work?



It certainly hits stuff - although there is a debate that if it doesn't catch the incoming head on, it just turns the rocket or mortar into shrapnel, which can be worse - the actual things normally have to land dead on to get you. I personally prefer it - may a placebo effect though...

[Deadlift]

OK, nothing truly horrific like EG's... yikes ma'am!

Went out to get mail from old mailbox visiting parents house years back. Open the dark box, grab an ancient piece of mail, take two steps and look down...
to see about 30 texas wasps covering my hand and wrist - and they all bite in sync...

I still remember what that felt like...

Lol, that's proper skin crawling stuff :). I'm guessing your wasps are bigger and meaner than average ones ?

[Wolfshade]

Lol, that's proper skin crawling stuff :). I'm guessing your wasps are bigger and meaner than average ones ?

Everything's bigger in texas?

[chromedog]

Had an x-acto roll off my desk and thunk into the top of my foot. To the ferrule - so about an inch or so deep.
Missed all the important bits. I was about 12-13 at the time. Pre-gaming days, I was assembling a model kit.
Stepped on my soldering iron (barefoot) about a year later (I wasn't a gamer at school - I was an electronics geek because 40k didn't exist yet). Ended up with a nice 4" long burn on the sole of my foot. Learned to walk on the balls of my feet during recovery (to keep the burn away from contact).
Cut my left thumb whilst sharpening a knife a few years later. Into the pad. Some tape and a dressing and it healed pretty well - not evenly, but quite well. The blade was VERY sharp, which helped. I still have a scar there. Makes my left thumb, um ... very distinctive from a legal perspective.

Cut my thumb open (same thumb) again down the side and just behind the nail (actual linear cut is 2 1/2 or so inches). Was helping out at the local crafts place (ceramics. Piece of broken glazed tile cut me). Thumb was bent at the time. Needed 7 stitches. Cut the nerve on my thumb (I'm left handed. The feeling stops on the side of the thumb right at the joint). I also used to play guitar (electric). Now, when the scar accidentally touches the string, I get a jolt down the nerve to the elbow. I'm crap at acoustic. :D

Was Helping a mate winch his boat out of the water (manual winch with a basic hook (no clip) - yeah, this is going to end well. Boat snagged the outboard on something and the hook bent and came at me. Hit me just above the knee (I was wearing trackpants at the time). Felt a solid impact, but nothing broken. Later on, I roll the leg up to see a 12mm fething HOLE in my leg that looks almost like a bullet wound. NO hole in the pants. 2 more stitches for that, and another scar on my left hand (ring finger) from the cable (2 stitches for that, too). Still have the scar, but it's migrating down my leg.

Of ALL the injuries I've had - NONE of them were as painful as scratching my cornea. 3 months ago.

When the light output of a fluorescent fixture is soooo bright it's painful (normally about a 40w brightness level) - even with polarising sunglasses on. Where you need a local anaesthetic just to go to sleep. Took two weeks to heal to the point of just plain blurry. Another two to get back to normal.

[Psychosplodge]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4gfn73C7S1r6l5bco6_1280.jpg



Was Helping a mate winch his boat out of the water (manual winch with a basic hook (no clip) - yeah, this is going to end well. Boat snagged the outboard on something and the hook bent and came at me. Hit me just above the knee (I was wearing trackpants at the time). Felt a solid impact, but nothing broken. Later on, I roll the leg up to see a 12mm fething HOLE in my leg that looks almost like a bullet wound. NO hole in the pants. 2 more stitches for that, and another scar on my left hand (ring finger) from the cable (2 stitches for that, too). Still have the scar, but it's migrating down my leg.



And then took a picture of it?

[Denzark]

Oh Christ I just realised what was in EG's picture you horror madam!

[eldargal]

Hurhurhur.:cool:

[Kirsten]

I've been stabbed three times via fencing injuries (broken blades). Wrist (missed the important stuff) hand, and chest. Closest I came to dying was fencing outdoors in too cold weather. My opponent came in with a high line fleche. My parry snapped the first third of his blade off, and the rest was on target for my neck. I was able to beat the rest of his blade to the side with my off hand. I still don't know how. I likely should have died that day.

yeah I have taken an epee to the crook of my elbow. when it bleeds through a fencing jacket you know it has probably done a bit more than a strike should...



Another painful moment is the time i got shot in the foot , not by myself but by my smaller brother who was playing around with a gun. and left me with a missing toe and some vans with a hole in one of them. i actually kept the sneaker as a memory to show to my (grad) children as it makes a good story about my missing toe.

I have had a couple of near misses with a rifle, one round scored a red line along the outside of my knee (no damage) and one ricochet hit the ground about four inches from my head where I was lying down...

[scadugenga]

Oh Christ I just realised what was in EG's picture you horror madam!

You and me both, Denz...

EG: that's properly horrific. Hope the scumbag can only subsist on a liquid diet now.

[alshrive]

In terms of simple pain endurance I would probably say Appendicitis that wasn't operated on immediately because something more important came up for the surgeons and I was left overnight. That was a long night even with Morphine. Physically disgusting would be walking through a field and tripping on some discarded barbed wire, I have 4 small scars running down my right hand side from where the barbs embedded into flesh- that hurt!

[spaceman91]

look what i found 4257 Only one way thats going to end:rolleyes:

[Psychosplodge]

Give that man a darwin award.

[jgebi]

I think I've got of really easy compared to all these... but properly my most painful was having my shoulder ripped out of it's socket by a wave then putting it back in some how. but bloody hell some of these wounds seem to just come from silly stuff on someones part XD. and I want to raise something here, is it just me or do grazes hurt more then cuts? I like to ride my bike so I've had my fair share of both but bloody hell do those minor ones hurt something cronic and it never seems to add up

[spaceman91]

I think I've got of really easy compared to all these... but properly my most painful was having my shoulder ripped out of it's socket by a wave then putting it back in some how. but bloody hell some of these wounds seem to just come from silly stuff on someones part XD. and I want to raise something here, is it just me or do grazes hurt more then cuts? I like to ride my bike so I've had my fair share of both but bloody hell do those minor ones hurt something cronic and it never seems to add up

Paper cuts by far the worst thing that can happen.

[Yetisam]

Stepping on a bit of lego ...

That just hurts! Have sapped both bones in my wrist playing rugby but was years ago

[Deadlift]

Yeah Lego hurts nicely, for those in the UK, stepping on an upturned 3 pin plug. That kills doesn't it lol

[Yetisam]

Yeah Lego hurts nicely, for those in the UK, stepping on an upturned 3 pin plug. That kills doesn't it lol

Done that a few times too couldn't walk for a day last time

[eldargal]

Once I stood up too quickly after lying down, went to move somewhere rapidly and blacked out and ran straight into a door. Gave myself a black eye, told people who asked my mother beat me. Think I've mentioned it before on other threads but it seemed appropriate to post it here. Not the most painful thing really, but it would be embarrassing if I weren't a shameless hussy.

[Wildeybeast]

The stupidest injury I know of is my mate putting a pine cone in his eye. I also have another friend who decide to see if a BB gun could penetrate his welding mask and ended up having bits of glass pulled out of his eye.

[Kirsten]

look what i found 4257 Only one way thats going to end:rolleyes:

I shared that on facebook a while ago, love it. my dad used to sell chainsaws and the like, I used to clean them and he repaired them when people brought them in for maintenance. he found the pic just mind boggling.

[scadugenga]

yeah I have taken an epee to the crook of my elbow. when it bleeds through a fencing jacket you know it has probably done a bit more than a strike should....

Indeed. Puncture wounds stuck. Triangular puncture wounds stuck much more than that.

[Denzark]

Actually the single most painful thing was running into a mate's forehand smash playing squash. It caught me on the wrist. I greyed out from the pain, and had to lay on the floor in a cold sweat on the verge of puking my ring up, for a good 5 minutes.

[YorkNecromancer]

So I’m in the pub with my three mates back in 1998. We’re laughing and joking, and the evening is passing in the way the best evenings do.

Eventually, the topic turns to scars, as my first mate, a hard, hard man and member of the RAF’s Army Air Corp for a year (at this stage – he’s served well over a decade since then) shows off the scar he got from his bike crash. Smirking proudly, it’s a great keloid welt of a thing, bespeaking manhood, virility, and a will to survive.

My second mate steps up, and leans forwards in his wheelchair. In (very) simplified terms he explains how his condition, Spinal Muscular Atrophy, means he’s never grown any muscles since being a child. That’s why he’s in a wheechair – his legs literally cannot support his body weight, and he is incapable of ever gaining muscle mass, no matter how hard he might exercise. But the real problem is his spine. You see, in an average person, their muscles can support the weight of their torso. But his muscles never grew, so slowly, his spine bent, compressing all his internal organs. Without spinal fusion surgery, he would die a slow, agonising death at the hands of gravity.

So he had the surgery. What this involved was cutting his back open from the base of his skull to the top of his pelvis, injecting enzymes into the cartilage to dissolve pads that separate the vertebrae, drilling solid steel pins into each bone, then using wires to tighten them, essentially pinning his spine into a single solid bone, the same way we pin metal models. The skin has to be cut so deeply it requires medical staples, which are like carpet staples, only exactly the same. He shows us the scar on his back – it is a Frankensteinian horror almost thirty-five inches in length. There are symmetrically dotted indentations from where the staples were.

Then he shows us the twelve inch keloid below his left rib; it’s a jagged nightmare, like someone took the Joker’s smile and carved it into his chest.

It turns out there were complications. His bones had already partly fused into a grotesque “S” shape, and that needed to be sorted before the operation could proceed. They needed to be broken with a medical hammer, which is basically one of those claw hammers they sell in hardware stores, only cleaner. Oh, and a chisel.

“Why do you have a scar on your chest though?”

It turned out his spine was so twisted, that the only way to reach one of the points of fusion was to go in through his lung.

He sits back and finishes his pint.

We turn to my then-girlfriend. She pulls down her sweater revealing a morass of pink lines; both her shoulders are coarse with deep scar tissue. She shows the thick scars on the arms, and a few of the ones on her legs. She doesn’t show the more private ones; the ones I know about.

Back before the internet made self-harm into a cruel meme, it was something people suffering from severe depression inflicted upon themselves. One night, aged 19 and sick of the world, she’d downed far too many pills, a full bottle of vodka, and crawled into her bed to die. When she was found and rushed to hospital, she was sectioned for her own safety, and placed under intensive scrutiny – watched morning, noon, and night, even when she was on the toilet.

Once she had earned their trust, she finally used the pencil sharpener blade she’d kept hidden for those two weeks.

That was two years ago, and things were better and brighter now. We all smile, knowing how good things are compared to where they were.

All eyes fall on me.

I hold out my hand, displaying the three millimetre scar on the surface of my finger.

“My rabbit, Poppy.

...

She had really sharp claws.”

Oh, and as a final note, I feel like EG has kind of won this thread.

[Necron2.0]

I grew up in a rural setting, and by that I mean if you're thinking farms, you're thinking too civilized. Think hunter-gatherer, HEAVY on the hunter. I’ve been frozen, burnt, pummeled, poked, prodded, stabbed, sliced and generally perforated. I’ve had road rash on my arms, fish hooks in my skin, glass embedded in my flesh, gashes to my head (and it’s amazing how much a head wound bleeds), and I’ve been pincushioned with more darts than I can count. I’ve been covered in black bruises and punched so hard I’ve literally been lifted off the ground. Most of this was self-inflicted and all of it was in pursuit of what we used to call “fun.” Oddly enough I’ve never had any broken bones, but it wasn’t for lack of trying.

In terms of anguish the worst thing I’ve had to suffer through was the loss of my best friend when I was something like fifteen.

In terms of most interesting wound suffered, that’d be when I accidently buried a knife into the index finger of my left hand - cut it right down to the bone. This was when I was about 10, and I was so frightened my mom would find out that I walk quietly into the house and passed her to the bathroom. I put antibiotic in the wound, pinched the edges together and held the whole thing in place with a couple bandages – the kind you usually use for minor cuts. I’m lucky it didn’t get infected.

In terms of raw agony, that’d be when I pulled a muscle in my back after an automobile accident. That was the one and only time I’ve ever both nearly passed out and nearly thrown up from pain.

I can’t say I’ve ever torn my scrotum, so full points for that. I’ve also never done anything quite as manly as giving birth, so I cannot definitively say I’ve experience the epitome of pain.

[Phototoxin]

Diabetic Ketoacidosis and Hypokalemia. CCU for a week.

[jgebi]

I think this song goes nicely here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYRvSFdJbSI

[Necron2.0]

Ok, here's another one. I took a welding class in high school, purely for grins. One day I was practicing my welding seams and lost track of time, so I had to rush to clean up. I got my work station all squared away, took my welding gloves off and grabbed the piece I had been working on.

I realized a fraction of a second before the pain hit that I forget to squelch it. I remember hearing the "Xssssssss!" of my flesh roasting a split second before I felt the pain. Blackened the tip of my thumb and index finger for about a week.

[Denzark]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m4gfn73C7S1r6l5bco6_1280.jpg



On the subject of this, a Russian view:

http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=95c_1371654375#2Dp6cuF4JZrxJG1g.01

[eldargal]

Been posted in the Feminism thread already.:p

[Psychosplodge]

The stupidest injury I know of is my mate putting a pine cone in his eye. I also have another friend who decide to see if a BB gun could penetrate his welding mask and ended up having bits of glass pulled out of his eye.

Did no one point out he could have tested that Without wearing it?

[DarkLink]

What's even better, it's more difficult to shoot yourself in the face than to shoot something in front of you. So he had to actively decide 'yes, I'm going to shoot myself in the face'.

[Wildeybeast]

Oh, he had a friend shoot him in the face, so it's perfectly sensible. In fairness to him, the man is a lunatic. He decided to see test the strength of another friends re-enactment helmet be repeatedly punching it whilst friend B was wearing it. Guess who won.

[Psychosplodge]

sounds like a genius :D