A tribute to the best and greatest thread in the world: Off Topic

[DrLove42]

Morning all. Im in the lab today. Hard hot work for me...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I'd like the entire Fire Angels Chapter, that'd be cool.

@Doc, work hard, play hard?

[Psychosplodge]

Unfortunately it isn't my BA replacement fund it is the Bell restoration fund.


Some peoples priorities are skewed.

http://i42.tinypic.com/f23ci0.jpg

[Wolfshade]

The top 10 were:

1.Rob Auton - "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."
2.Alex Horne - "I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying."
3.Alfie Moore - "I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same."
4.Tim Vine - "My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'."
5.Gary Delaney - "I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell."
6.Phil Wang - "The Pope is a lot like Doctor Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men."
7.Marcus Brigstocke - "You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost."
8.Liam Williams - "The universe implodes. No matter."
9.Bobby Mair - "I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance."
10.Chris Coltrane - "The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately."

Hardcore Pigs I approve. Percival "the eye gouger" would approve

[Psychosplodge]

Not a big fan of punny one liners, or maybe it's the comedians that tell them... hmm.


I was mistaken on the flying cars
http://i43.tinypic.com/r2urgn.gif

[Wolfshade]

Reminds me of my wife's driving...

[Psychosplodge]

Finally a woman that can drive!

This one gave me a warm fuzzy feeling
http://i41.tinypic.com/2u7r69y.png

[Wolfshade]

When I've been out with my little nephew I've overheard such conversations... it is either that or it goes the other way

[DrLove42]

Ive never judged that a Goth is going to be a bad parentChavs yes, but no one else. seriously the example some chavs leave to their kids is worrying for the next generation

[Psychosplodge]

Example? lmao.

[Wolfshade]

My "favourite" one was a mother effing and jeffing at her kid for swearing...

[Psychosplodge]

How many ****ing times have I told you not to swear you little c***?

^like that? Seen that a few times.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Oh dear...

[Wolfshade]

And to think compulsory euthanisia is seen as a bad thing

[Psychosplodge]

Indeed. You only need to look at peoples reaction earlier in the thread when it was suggested...

[Wildeybeast]

I've obviously spent too long on them LGBT thread. I'm getting adverts for lesbian dating. Most mistargetted advertising ever?

[Psychosplodge]

You still not got a decent adblock?

[eldargal]

My mother stopped my brothers from swearing by giving them a big hug and kiss whenever they swore. Nothing horrifies a teenage boy like getting a PDA from his mother after swearing in front of his friends.

I only swear online, never said anything worse than b!tch which isn't like ****, ****, **** etc. anymore than cow is.

[Psychosplodge]

I had it beaten out of me at a young age, and still don't swear infront of the 'rents.

[Wildeybeast]

You still not got a decent adblock?

I have a pretty good mental filter at ignoring stuff that doesn't interest me. They are largely white noise to me now but the word lesbian inevitably drew my eye.

[DrLove42]

I've obviously spent too long on them LGBT thread. I'm getting adverts for lesbian dating. Most mistargetted advertising ever?

I got one (at work) for a Couger dating website.

Only problem was it was advertising "Young men looking for older women, Sign up and meet them".

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I swear in front of my parents sometimes, but they don't blame me, not a lot is going right for me lately. xD

I don't make it a habit though.

[Wolfshade]

I generally do not, it is far too ubiquitous and there are far more eloquent ways to express things

[Psychosplodge]

Yes but some of the anglo-saxon words are very satisfying.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I generally do not, it is far too ubiquitous and there are far more eloquent ways to express things

When your life is going wrong, f*ck manners.

[Psychosplodge]

Ok this is scarring




Things Used in Fanfiction as Lube & Condoms That Should Never Be Used as Lube or Condoms

Please feel free to send in all the different examples of lube you’ve seen in fanfiction that… really should not be used as lube.

Lube

Gravel
Going in dry
Crushed Doritos
Honey
Mayo (is also not an instrument)
Shaving cream
Beer
Ammonia
(Maple) syrup
Ice cream
Gasoline
After shave
Soap
Grey matter
Ink
Motor oil
Vapor rub
Watermelon juice
Lemon juice
Melted butter
Butter
Vodka
Glue
Jelly
Chocolate sauce/choco syrup/fondue
Sweat
Deep Heat (like the hot part of IcyHot)
Cooking oil
Mud
Blood
Aloe vera lotion
Toothpaste
Saliva
Shampoo/Conditioner
Spaghetti sauce
Ditto the Pokemon
Peanut butter
Foundation (makeup)
Acid
Hand sanitizer
Brandy
Tomato juice
A whole tomato
Olive oil with flakes of oregano
Olive oil
Cookie dough
Melted sugar
Sugar
Cream filling from an Oreo cookie
Unnamed chemical compounds
Drool
Cheesecake
Johnson’s Baby Shampoo
Tears
Molten lead
Sand
Brownie batter
Aloe
Plasma
Rat poison
Liquid Nitrogen
Sun screen
Body butter/lotion
Bong water
****
Yellow mustard
Grape juice
Popsicle
Fish juice
Mashed potatoes
Melted frozen yogurt
Hot sauce
Water
Lava
Salsa
Natural oils of a horse
Pages from a book
Mpreg breastmilk
Snow
Monster slime (as in, slimes that swallow things and dissolve those things)
Chalk
Milkshakes
Applesauce
Aerosal deodorant
Marshmallow fluff
Vaseline
Raw egg
Clown paint
Cake batter
Gun oil
Cough syrup
Movie theater popcorn butter
Glass
Kitty litter
Snot
Guacamole
Wallpaper paste
***
Diarrhea
Holy oil
Vanilla pudding
Frosting
Seal oil (from boiling seal fat)
Tree sap
Spiked egg nog
Diet Coke
Horseradish sauce
A jellyfish
Holy water
Potions (like in Harry Potter)
Laundry detergent
Easter eggs
Melted candle wax
Bird poop
Butane
Lysol
Tears of children
Penile sweat
*** juices
Coffee
Milk
Corn syrup
Viscera
Ichor
Beef stew
Medi-gel (In Mass Effect, it’s used as a sealant to grip flesh tight until the wounded person can get proper medical attention)
Liquid from a can of Vienna sausages
Gellato
Poison
Kool-Aid
Body paint
Natural alien lubrication
Napalm
Nutella
Barbeque sauce
Paint
Urine
Rose oil
Cooking grease
Hair grease
Souls
Sun tan lotion
Nail polish

Condoms

Banana peel
Used chip bag
Saran wrap
Gym socks
Soda cans
Poison ivy
Cocoons
Dead slime cube (from Minecraft)
Bubblegum
PVC pipe
Candy wrapper
Helmet from a suit of armor (same place as book pages as lube)
Melted crayons
Duct tape
Tin foil
Sandwich bag

[Wildeybeast]

Wtf?

[Psychosplodge]

See what fifty shades of grey has done? Every nutter on the internet thinks they can write "Erotic fan fiction"

[DrLove42]

They've been doing that for a long time

99.9% of it is just straight up ****ing creepy

[Mr Mystery]

Why has no one opened up a curry restaurant called Arrakis?!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Because no one cares?

[Mr Mystery]

But the spice must flow!

[Wolfshade]

Because they are too busy with names like, Spice of Life, Hallal is it Meat you're looking for, Dansank Queen, Things Can Only Get Bhuna, Love me Tandoor, Temple (located in Shirely) etc

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

But the spice must flow!

I already have blue eyes.

[Mr Mystery]

Lordy!

Anymore nonsense out of you, and I'll revoke your bacon privileges!

[Wolfshade]

Lordy!

Anymore nonsense out of you, and I'll revoke your bacon privileges!

I'm a Bajhi Girl in a Bhuna World...

[Mr Mystery]

Right! That's it! Bacon privileges and Beef privileges are rescinded! Effective as soon as I can convince the government I totally have the power to do such a thing!

And you misspelled Bhaji.

[eldargal]

I'm a Bajhi Girl in a Bhuna World...
Ha!

****ing PC monitor just went into analog power saving mode and only way to get it back on was to restart PC.>< What the hell is that about.

[Wolfshade]

Can I play with Madras?

The translation from Indo languages to English are still up for grabs.

[Psychosplodge]

Right! That's it! Bacon privileges and Beef privileges are rescinded! Effective as soon as I can convince the government I totally have the power to do such a thing!


He may need putting in a punitentiary, but rescinding bacon and beef privileges is a crime against humanity.

[Mr Mystery]

Misaligned doobery I'd expect.

[Mr Mystery]

He may need putting in a punitentiary, but rescinding bacon and beef privileges is a crime against humanity.

His puns reveal him to be non-human.....I suspect he may in fact be......a journalist

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Ha!

****ing PC monitor just went into analog power saving mode and only way to get it back on was to restart PC.>< What the hell is that about.

Dammit Dru, I'm an Apothecary, not a Techmarine!

[Psychosplodge]

Sounds like the input signal dropped below a threshold. check if your monitor cable is loose, or if it keeps happening your gpu might be on the way out...

And light the candles, burn the incense and praise the Omnissaih

[Mr Mystery]

Dammit Dru, I'm an Apothecary, not a Techmarine!

Now I'm imagining EG to have a really, unconvincing 'spooky' English accent, like her out of Buffy.

[Mr Mystery]

Sounds like the input signal dropped below a threshold. check if your monitor cable is loose, or if it keeps happening your gpu might be on the way out...

And light the candles, burn the incense and praise the Omnissaih

May I suggest the litany of percussive maintenance?

[Psychosplodge]

Might be too sensitive piece of archeotech for percussive maintenance.

[eldargal]

Now I'm imagining EG to have a really, unconvincing 'spooky' English accent, like her out of Buffy.
More like a Lady-Giles accent.:p Aw now I want to watch Buffy.

[DrLove42]

All of Buffy is on Netflix. Thats next on the list once we finish Dexter

[Wolfshade]

His puns reveal him to be non-human.....I suspect he may in fact be......a journalist


Stop acting all aloo(f)

[Mr Mystery]

As long as its not the worst English accent since Dick Van Dyke! (Take that, language filter!)

[Mr Mystery]

Stop acting all aloo(f)

Seriously. Any more, and no HP sauce either.....

[Psychosplodge]

Does that work?

****

****

[Wolfshade]

As long as its not the worst English accent since Dick Van Dyke! (Take that, language filter!)

Van Dyke escapes burning car...http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/entertainment-arts-23763623


Seriously. Any more, and no HP sauce either.....

Not mine but still good:


(To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody)

Naan-aa, just killed a man
Poppadom against his head
Had lime pickle, now he's dead.
Naan-aa, dinner just begun
But now I'm going to crap it all away.
Naan-aa, ooh-ooh
Didn't mean to make you cry,
Seen nothin' yet just see the loo tomorrow,
Curry on, Curry on,
cause nothing really madras.
Too late, my dinner's gone
Sends shivers up my spine
Rectum aching all the time.
Goodbye every bhaji, I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and use the loo.
Naan-aa, ooh ooh,
This Dopiaza's mild,
I Sometimes wish we'd never come here at all... (Guitar solo)
I see a little chicken tikka on the side, Rogan Josh, Rogan Josh
pass the chutney made of mango.
Vindaloo does nicely
Very very spicey ME!
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani (Biryani)
Biryani and a naan,
(A vindaloo loo boo...)
I've eaten balti, somebody help me
He's eaten balti, get him to a lavatory Stand you well back
Cause this loo is quarantined.
Here it comes,
There it goes,
technicolor yawn.
I chunder
No!
It's coming up again
(There he goes) I chunder
It's coming up again
(There he goes) It's coming up again,
(Up again) Coming up
again (up again)
Here it comes again
(No no no no no no no no no No).
On my knees, I'm on my knees, I'm on my knees Oh there he goes
This vindaloo
Is about to wreck my guts
Poor me... Poor me... Poor me!
(Guitar solo)
So you think you can chunder and still it's alright?
So you want to eat curry and drink beer all night?
Ohh maybe, now you'll puke like a baby,
Just had to come out,
Just had to come right out in here.... (Guitar solo)
Korma, saag or bhuna,
Balti, naan, bhaji.
Nothing makes a difference
Nothing makes a difference to me
(Anyway, my wind blows.)

[Mr Mystery]

Hello Madras, my old friend.
You've come to burn my ring again.....

[eldargal]

Papa Dums Curryhouse.
My Dear Chapati.

[Wolfshade]

Second to Naan

[Mr Mystery]

http://youtu.be/_aOicWp-wgY

Meditating with the Maharishi, lead a life that's pure and sparse.

Lamb Jalfrezi and 15 pints of Lager, sends a message to your arse....

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Oh my gods this is awful.

[Wolfshade]

Korma Blimey! There's still more!

[Mr Mystery]

Just spicing up the thread!

[eldargal]

Tikka to Ride.

[Wolfshade]

It must be cumin to an end.

[Mr Mystery]

I think TDA is saffron from pun overload.

[Wolfshade]

I think TDA is saffron from pub overload.

He does seem to be Saag-ing

[Mr Mystery]

Normally I'd be happy to bindi over backwards to include others, but he seems uninterested.

[eldargal]

The poor Daaling

Maybe we should throw a chapati to cheer him up?

[Mr Mystery]

I think he just needs a chick, pea. That might help.

[eldargal]

He needs to curry up and find a nice lassi.

[Wolfshade]

As long as he doesn't end up Kormatose

[Mr Mystery]

A lassi in your life is certainly a bhuna to all concerned.

But dosa he know what kind he wants?

[eldargal]

Just bring him out of it with tandoor oven care.

[Wolfshade]

He might be thinking that there are naan out there for him

[Mr Mystery]

Ok you win!

Just seen an advert for Optimax Laser Vision Surgery.

I will always remain mildly disappointed the clearly not at all an actress honest doesn't stagger out at the end with two smouldering craters where her eyes used to be.....

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I know exactly who I want, they are occupied territory though.

[eldargal]

It will be just extra daalicious when he finds one.


I know exactly who I want, they are occupied territory though.
Sounds like a lot of Argy Bhaji.

[Mr Mystery]

I know exactly who I want, they are occupied territory though.

You can't curry love!

Dosa she know you're an interested chapati?

[Wolfshade]

We had a good run, I think we got dhal of them in, but if I come up with another I'll be raita back

Bad news TDA, sometimes you just gotta make samosa outta what you got :/

[Mr Mystery]

This is a most triumphant start to my holiday!

[eldargal]

Yep, just take it rice and easy. Or maybe she'll turn out to be a Wh*re of Kebabylon.

[Wolfshade]

Yep, just take it rice and easy. Or maybe she'll turn out to be a Wh*re of Kebabylon.

Shessh, I think you might be a little hash with that one

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

You guys are the worst.

[Mr Mystery]

You could always try a little pilau talk?

[eldargal]

You guys are the worst.
It has certainly been a pun filled saaga.

[Mr Mystery]

Don't worry TDA. We can't curry on forever!

[eldargal]

Only a matter of thyme before we run out of puns completely, the clock is tikkaing.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Honour.

[Mr Mystery]

We can't keep them kormaing!

[Wolfshade]

You guys are the currywurst.

FTFY

Let us not chat about it any longer

[eldargal]

I've made myself hungry.:(

[Mr Mystery]

Say aloo, wave goodbye.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Say aloo, wave goodbye.

I'm going to balti you.

[Wolfshade]

Could you not just use magic to get a curry.

* abra-kebab-ra *

Chicken Bhuna, Pilau Rice + Nan

[Mr Mystery]

You tikka your time!

[Wolfshade]

You tikka your time!

Popadom preach, I hear you, it's cumin now

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

.........

[DrLove42]

Are the puns over yet? Can normal people post again?



Also


C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Dooooooooooooooc...
When are we meeting up?

[Mr Mystery]

I think we're just having a thyme out.

[DrLove42]

Pic from upcoming XMen film

Why is Beast humanoid, is Xavier is in his wheelchair? Are they flat out ignoring continuiety from their own film?

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7748452352/h040A6C89/

[Kirsten]

maybe they just haven't cgi'd him blue yet.

[Mr Mystery]

Image inducer thingy, like what Nightcrawler uses?

[Wolfshade]

Didn't he start off human then became beastly over time?

Also, if you have the same psychic potential as X why not just hover everywhere instead?

[DrLove42]

Hes blue and hairy by the end of First Class, aka the previous movie.

[Wolfshade]

According to Wiki:

Hank leaves the X-Men shortly after his twentieth birthday, after remarking that he is no longer one of the "strangest teens of all." He becomes a research scientist at the Brand Corporation, a genetics research facility. His assistant, Linda Donaldson, quickly becomes his girlfriend. Hank isolates a "hormonal extract" allowing anyone to become a mutant for a short period of time, and uses the mutagenic serum on himself to disguise his appearance while foiling an attempt to steal his research.[14] However, he waits too long to reverse the process, leaving him permanently transformed. He has grown grey fur (which later turns blue) all over his body and acquired pointed ears, elongated canine teeth, claws, the ability to run on walls and ceilings like a spider, enhanced senses, an accelerated healing factor, and a feral side he struggles to control.

Perhaps there is some retconning going on, I've not seen 1st Class

[DrLove42]

Thats the comic i guess. Its a bit similar to how they did it in the film

First Class is excellent, easily the best of the XMen films

[Wolfshade]

Okies I'll check it out if it's on netflix

[Mr Mystery]

And it's Walking Dead O'Clock here at Mystery Towers!

[DrLove42]

Some of us are at work still.

6 weeks till I leave and move though

[Wolfshade]

everything sorted?

[Cap'nSmurfs]

I'm so bored of zombies.

[DrLove42]

Sort of. Just need to pass the medical and finalise the details now

[Mr Mystery]

I'm so bored of zombies.

Walking Dead is fantastic though!

As with the best Zombie stuff, they're just a back drop to the drama of societal destruction.

[eldargal]

Awkward mother-daughter game moment:

Watching your mother playing Saints Row 3 when she laughs and says 'The garages here are called Rim Jobs!' and then saying 'Hehe yeah' and then we both glare at each other wondering if we really want to know how the other knows what that is.

For the record, someone explained it to me in World of Warcraft in 2005.

[Wolfshade]

Yeah all those blackberry employees are going to have work in garges now

[Mr Mystery]

Oh yeah!

Finished the 3 month training course for clever people that work ran....

And I'm now an accredited Mentor!

Which means I'm a Mentor with an inquisitorial mandate!

BACK OF THE NET!!!

[Cap'nSmurfs]

Does it come with a raise or have they just given you a title?

[Mr Mystery]

Kind of yes, kind of no.

Essentially we Adjudicators are in pay brackets. This role gives me all the bells and whistles to jump up one. Should be finding out before long (though on holiday just now, so not for a fortnight I'd expect).

Plus it sets me up really nicely for the future in terms of career progression and that.

There's 80 or so people doing this new role, out of around 2,000 adjudicators in my department. And around 1% of applicants get the basic adjudicator job!

Really quite chuffed with myself! One year in, and doing swimmingly. Aiming to be an Ombudsman in 4 years time!

[Kirsten]

I always feel the word 'ombudsmen' should have a different meaning to what it is. it is just one of those words that doesn't really fit the definition, like when you meet someone and they just don't look like their name...

[Mr Mystery]

I guess.

But it's the only Swedish word in the English language you know!

[Shotgun Justice]

I always feel the word 'ombudsmen' should have a different meaning to what it is. it is just one of those words that doesn't really fit the definition, like when you meet someone and they just don't look like their name...

Never noticed but I felt the same about the word Kirsten, it is a cool word. I used to assume it was a naval term, like a longshoreman.

[Kirsten]

Never noticed but I felt the same about the word Kirsten, it is a cool word. I used to assume it was a naval term

I am in fact a self aware nuclear submarine.

[Mr Mystery]

There's been another **** up.....

Managed to book my train tickets for completely the wrong month.....wanted August, not September.....

Hey ho. I can sort this out easily, by getting the coach up London in the morning (blech!) then hopping off at Embankment, jumping on the tube to Marylebone, and then scarpering off to Gerrard's Cross from there. £12.90 all in......just a significant wait at Marylebone!

[Shotgun Justice]

I am in fact a self aware nuclear submarine.

Congratulations? Not a reference I got.

Although Google turned this up which is fabulously British - http://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/greater-manchester-news/radio-silence-puts-subs-on-nuclear-1157478

[Wolfshade]

I guess.

But it's the only Swedish word in the English language you know!


Smörgåsbord, Angstrom, Halogen, Orienteering, Moped, Logenberry, any Ikea furniture range that's just at the top of my head

[Psychosplodge]

It was bound to happen...
I suppose mystery has now gone on his jollies and won't be back for a week?

[Wolfshade]

Well in absentia I crown myself victor!

[DrLove42]

Sounds legit

Morning all. Day 2 in the lab.

[Psychosplodge]

yeah why not.

Still waiting to see this news report
http://i39.tinypic.com/212y4ig.jpg

[Gotthammer]

Yes, pushing the victims offline rather than doing something about the perpetrators :rolleyes: I'm waiting for that too [/sarcasm]

[Psychosplodge]

lol
offline might be a step too far, but the nonsense with this ASK.fm has got on my tits. Just don't use the ridiculous app or whatever the **** it is.
it's a totally optional piece of software/website. Where's people taking parental responsibility for what their spawn are doing online?

[Psychosplodge]

New tangent

How cool is this?
http://i39.tinypic.com/2nsw0h2.jpg

[Wolfshade]

Well this is a part of the problem. I know a chap who uses ask.fm and has had no bullying problems. While I think it is wrong to trivialise such things as splogy says it is elective content and is not something that you need to use.
Research shows that when people are given anonimity then they can very quickly detach from social norms and become very cruel, as this is a taboo rather tah being very kind which you can do even if not anonomyous.

My boss, her daughter was getting bullied over facebook. Part of the issue was that they one of her friends would encourage her to ***** about someone then take a screen shot of the mean comments and upload them to victim, so this was then used to victimise her. As soon as she was stopped from using facebook the bullying could only happen in person and stopped almost overnight.

I know that this sounds a lot like victim blaming and I suppose to some extent it is, but rather it is all about risk and exposure. For example if I were to be walking around late at night I would not be showing off my wallet or phone, why? because to me there is a risk involved, indeed if I felt unsafe in an area I would avoid it. Now that is my decision to mitigate that risk for myself, and if something did happen to me in such an area it would be wrong to say it was my fault, but I still could have taken steps to minimise my risk/exposure.

[Wolfshade]

Re: New Tanget, reminds me of Tiffa

[Psychosplodge]

Not played final fantasy, so until you said it I hadn't made the connection, but I can see the similarities now.
Still cool.

[Kirsten]

someone I vaguely knew committed suicide early last year after facebook bullying and her mother immediately set up a facebook group to create some sort of anti bullying law, but there was no direction to it, it was almost a knee jerk reaction that parents have. In this instance however the woman had been giving as good as she got, and could be pretty foul herself. she also had a serious drug addiction problem. All in all, it really wasn't a case that would have been prevented by any sort of anti cyber bullying law in all probability.

[Mr Mystery]

It was bound to happen...
I suppose mystery has now gone on his jollies and won't be back for a week?

Currently at Marylebone! Field in about 2 or so hours.

PAGGA PAGGA PAGGA!!!

[Psychosplodge]

Have fun! :D

[Wolfshade]

All in all, it really wasn't a case that would have been prevented by any sort of anti cyber bullying law in all probability.

I think that there are a lot of situations that are similiar to this, whereby something occurs, which people feel should be legislated against but in relatiy the legislation wouldn't have helped. I mean specifically this has come up with various twitter death threats with on MP actyualy citing that there is existing legilsation that could be (and should be) used to deal with this such as sending a "menacing electronic communication" under the 2003 Communications Act. It all comes down to issues with the police and cps.

[eldargal]

The issue is that law enforcement don't consider internet threats as significant, so these people who often engage in vicious, long term attacks on people get away with it.

[Psychosplodge]

Law enforcement don't consider real life threats and harassment an issue most of the time.
But see how quick they come round if you don't pay your VAT returns or council tax...

[eldargal]

I don't know about that, a friend had some death threats mailed to her and they tracked the chap responsible and was actually sent to prison for two years or something.

[Wildeybeast]

lol
offline might be a step too far, but the nonsense with this ASK.fm has got on my tits. Just don't use the ridiculous app or whatever the **** it is.
it's a totally optional piece of software/website. Where's people taking parental responsibility for what their spawn are doing online?

The ask.fm case with the girl from Leicester has been bugging me. I feel for her and her family and I get her dad is grieving and angry, but he seems delusional about the reality. No doubt the vile comments she received went someway to her such de, but something that went largely unreported is that she was posting on there about self harm. She was clearly not a well girl before the ask.fm business even started. Ypu are right about parental resposibility though.
That said ask.fm's response has been pathetic. Their report function and extra mods are completely pointless when they still allow anonymous users. Of you are going to provide that sort of serbice, take some responsibility for it.
I also think telling people not use it isn't helpful. These people are needy and vulnerable and often desperate for attention, even negative. There is also the desire to know what people have been saying about you. I suspect for some it becomes a form of addiction.

[Wolfshade]

One of the trouble is that Policing at the moment is target driven, which I initially think of as a good thing, after all you need some metric to measure how effective the police are and a method for driving change. But far to frequently, it becomes easy policing, so drive out with your ANPR police cars and arrest people that violate a crime on camera as it can often be dealt with on the roadside as a fine, no lengthy court case one open and shut convicted criminal.

Then this is further compounded with the reluctance of the CPS to prosecute or to make strange discissions for prosecutions.

I am most familiar with issues of motorists vs. cyclists issues and even with raw camera footage some of the decisions are just bizare (and often quite frightening).

[Mr Mystery]

Have fun! :D

Certainly will!

First, I'm going to have a little drinky. Then, I'm going to massacre the whole Bally lot of them!

[Wolfshade]

Apparently this is the weekend for it.

I have already spoken with a Caviller who is off to see to Cromwell's NMA and Viking who is going to try and pillage the local Saxons.

[Wolfshade]

Found this on eBay... http://www.ebay.co.uk/itm/6-Bell-Mini-Ring-/161087051701?pt=UK_Antiques_DecorativeAntiques_Col lectables_EH&hash=item25818957b5

[Psychosplodge]

Apparently this is the weekend for it.

I have already spoken with a Caviller who is off to see to Cromwell's NMA and Viking who is going to try and pillage the local Saxons.

Well as long as the vikings don't go slapping the NMA and confusing all the history.

Shocking (http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-berkshire-23778649) stuff on the BBC website

[DrLove42]

Isn't killing a swan a treasonable offense?

[Psychosplodge]

It was at somepoint. Who knows anymore?

[Wolfshade]

All your swan are belong to us

Stealing from the crown at least.

[DrLove42]

Bored at work. 2 and a half to go

[Psychosplodge]

Stealing from the crown at least.

Hang them


Bored at work

Like every other day...

[DrLove42]

Yep. Its just hard sitting round waiting for equipment time when its in use.

I am so bored and completly fed up of my work right now. Can't wait to leave and start new work

[Psychosplodge]

I really need to look...

[Wolfshade]

I really need to chase up a firm that has been headhunting me, 4 interviews in and still going strong...

Also, need to sell my house, any takers?

[Psychosplodge]

Sorry it's in birmingham, and you probably want more than I want to pay, though you do make the neighbours sound delightful.

Headhunted you say? To do more modelling?

[DrLove42]

I'll give you £19, a fish and chip dinner and squad of Space Marines

[Wolfshade]

Nah more my analytic acrobatics, which is ok I guess. Just for this number of interviews I would be expecting 80k role not something that is around half that.

Doc, that is like 1/5000th of what I am hoping for...

[DrLove42]

£28 and two dinners. Best offer

[Wolfshade]

I'm not that desperate, yet...

Also Google-fu (relating to the swans, not Graham) http://www.royal.gov.uk/royaleventsandceremonies/swanupping/swanupping.aspx

[DrLove42]

Changing rent is ridiculous

To move to a new property they expect a £250 in admin, £150 in inventory costs

And then expect 2 and a half months rent in advance (one for rent, one and a half for the deposit)....all before getting the deposit from the current place...or getting paid for the new job.

How are you supposed to put up £1800 (over a months pay) to begin with, then live for a month before getting the money back from the place you just left?

Letting agents are just an excuse to print money and bullsh** people

[Psychosplodge]

Yep.
Maybe I've just found a new job...

[DrLove42]

I've discovered Honest trailers on Youtube. That'll keep me busy for a few hours

[Psychosplodge]

Honest trailers?

[DrLove42]

Basically youtube guy who does movie parody trailers for films. Some are very funny


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u843KNE-exo

[Psychosplodge]

Ah, like the review of Wizard of Oz - girl murders prominent citizen, steals belongings and goes on run from those out for justice?

[DrLove42]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AoLXRErjzco&list=SP86F4D497FD3CACCE

They're very good.

[Wolfshade]

A chap I work with is moving to America, I have suggested that he has a bonfire on 24th August...

[Psychosplodge]

Yes, yes he should.

He should also tell them its a traditional English celebration, and encourage them to join in :D

[Wolfshade]

:)

We are clubbing together to get him a massive union flag for his departure...

[Psychosplodge]

Get him a St. George's cross, that'll confuse the hell out of most of them.

[Wolfshade]

We are also suggesting that he flies his flag at the flag pole then on the 4th July, lower it to half mast..

He has decided to talk like a toff while overseas

[Psychosplodge]

Upside down as well? Encourage him to share pics on the internet as well :D

And he must enforce the stereotype...

[Wolfshade]

We've also spent a long time trying to come up with obscure sayings to use that don't translate well we couldn't think of any as they all seemed senisble to us.

Though he is revising numberwang...

[Psychosplodge]

Put wood in t'ole. (ole ryhmes with oil)

[Wolfshade]

Do you use the word while to mean between?

As in I work 9 while 5?

[Psychosplodge]

Only in a time sense.

[eldargal]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/7b27ba1b31f5a4ae3aa908679ea009f8/tumblr_mre7f7Mngr1recm95o1_1280.jpg
I don't care what anyone says, wearing a Red Sonja costume to Comicon deserves a medal for bravery.

[Wolfshade]

psh tumblr image, look when I get home :p

[Psychosplodge]

I'll second that.
I wonder if she needs help with rubbing lotion on for the chaffing? :D <- that would be why :rolleyes:

[DrLove42]

Anyone who shows that much flesh at comic con is brave full stop

[eldargal]

Anyone who shows that much flesh at comic con is brave full stop
That's what I was implying yes.:p

For wolfy:
4682

[Wolfshade]

I call fake, clearly it is a wig...

Thanks for the link.

Hopefully the sword has a keen edge and a long reach...

[eldargal]

I think it is a wig, possibly she dyed her hair but wig seems more likely. Some more of her:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-d-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-frc1/q71/s720x720/1001395_548958455153307_1734578182_n.jpg
https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/q75/s720x720/994543_540640645985088_657791887_n.jpg

[DrLove42]

Daym.

I wish I'd gone to more cons as a single guy....

[Psychosplodge]

lol

[eldargal]

I wish I could go to more cons. Revealing costumes and lots of other girls in revealing costumes ftw. Plus, you know, meeting creators and such. I wonder if Gail Simone would sign my chest:
http://31.media.tumblr.com/fe1092fb546049e56407ef4342a889a3/tumblr_mr61ydUZrG1qch750o1_500.png
http://31.media.tumblr.com/9f307518b109069f0290dd2791173956/tumblr_mr61ydUZrG1qch750o2_1280.png
http://24.media.tumblr.com/f2fa375cba9410a9712da820389de1aa/tumblr_mr61ydUZrG1qch750o8_1280.png

[eldargal]

Holy ****ing God, the greatest cosplay ever:
http://31.media.tumblr.com/feefefdcb780f1b409b0bc140980f44e/tumblr_mqrb9hrjqJ1rztdgoo1_500.jpg
Almost as mind breakingly ADAWBS as my two kitties wrestling.

[Gotthammer]

I see your adorable cosplay (and Gail Simone win) and raise you genderbent & humanised G1 Transformers cast (http://deersu.deviantart.com/art/big-dumb-humanformers-post-394556932).

[Kirsten]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/7b27ba1b31f5a4ae3aa908679ea009f8/tumblr_mre7f7Mngr1recm95o1_1280.jpg
I don't care what anyone says, wearing a Red Sonja costume to Comicon deserves a medal for bravery.

true


I wish I could go to more cons. Revealing costumes and lots of other girls in revealing costumes ftw. Plus, you know, meeting creators and such. I wonder if Gail Simone would sign my chest:
http://31.media.tumblr.com/fe1092fb546049e56407ef4342a889a3/tumblr_mr61ydUZrG1qch750o1_500.png
http://31.media.tumblr.com/9f307518b109069f0290dd2791173956/tumblr_mr61ydUZrG1qch750o2_1280.png
http://24.media.tumblr.com/f2fa375cba9410a9712da820389de1aa/tumblr_mr61ydUZrG1qch750o8_1280.png

awesome

[Wildeybeast]

So, I see Bradley Manning has got quite a lengthy sentence and his supporters are asking BO to pardon him. I guess this is as likely as flying pigs, but I want to ask our American members how often presidential pardons actually occur? We occasionally get sentences commuted on compassionate grounds in the UK (or releasing a bunch of irish terrorists so we can other irish terrorsits into government with each other) but I don't think proper pardons are actually a thing anymore.

[Wolfshade]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_people_pardoned_or_granted_clemency_by_the _President_of_the_United_States

[Kirsten]

this hardly seems real, even Republicans can't be that stupid...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/08/21/obama-hurricane-katrina_n_3790612.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000009

[Wildeybeast]

So according to that list, everyone BO has pardoned has already served their time and most of those offences wer committed quite some time ago. Why even bother?

[Wolfshade]

well they have the technology to destroy storm cells they just don't utilise it

[DarkLink]

Obama probably won't pardon him. Despite his talk, he's been, by far, the most aggressive President in history at pursuing and prosecuting government whistle blowers. He still denies that the NSA is spying on anyone: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/08/obamas-bill-clinton-moment-we-dont-have-a-domestic-spying-program/278449/

[daboarder]

well they have the technology to destroy storm cells they just don't utilise it

........?.........?

[Wildeybeast]

Obama probably won't pardon him. Despite his talk, he's been, by far, the most aggressive President in history at pursuing and prosecuting government whistle blowers. He still denies that the NSA is spying on anyone: http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2013/08/obamas-bill-clinton-moment-we-dont-have-a-domestic-spying-program/278449/

Yeah, for a democrat he seems oddly at ease with riding rough shod over your civil rights in the name of national security. In the Manning case, do they have any reason to believe Obama would pardon him or is it just a desperate last roll of the dice?

[Wolfshade]

........?.........?

You can destabilise the storm cell with a large enough explosion. Unfortunately no government wants to risk nuking hurricanes for some reason...

http://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd/tcfaq/C5c.html

[daboarder]

You can destabilise the storm cell with a large enough explosion. Unfortunately no government wants to risk nuking hurricanes for some reason...

http://www.aoml.noaa.gov/hrd/tcfaq/C5c.html

There is a pretty good reason for that

[Wolfshade]

Not regularly having hurricanes I'm not sure what the problem is, how else are we going to improve our nuclear arsenal without trail and testing?

7 GCSE maths questions: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-23779549

Simples :)

[Psychosplodge]

If that's what you need for an A* these days my A is worth more than the current A* :D

[Wolfshade]

I sincerely hope not, but the questions all seem reasonable well aside from the what is a 10 sided shape, that is more of a entymology question, but ho hum

[DrLove42]

Knowing a GCSE maths teacher, these would be the equivilent of C grade questions

[Wolfshade]

As you all know I like word play, I came across this lovely pallidrome last night and thought I would share:

in girum imus nocte et consumimur igni - "We enter the circle at night and are consumed by fire"

[Psychosplodge]

Not according to the BBC's marking scheme...

You taking up the promethean creed?

[Wolfshade]

The Beeb marking scheme is a phallacy..

I'd rather not sally myself with such a notional variance.

[Psychosplodge]

This RPG looks fun

http://i39.tinypic.com/r0oapk.jpg

[Wolfshade]

Oh dear, you are obsessed

[Psychosplodge]

Only A little.
Tumblr is a bad influence.

[Wolfshade]

Maybe you need a supreme omni filter.

I got to use one of my favourite responses today :)


Thank you for your Freedom of Information request. While we do hold the information you require under section 12 of the Freedom of Information Act we refuse your request.

[Psychosplodge]

I'll pass on the filter...

What does section 12 say?

[eldargal]

**** Off?

[Wolfshade]

Basically if the request would cost more than £600/£450 to do you can refuse. The costs associated with it are, materials, plus labour at a mandated rate of £25/hr regardless of their actual wage. So usually anything over 3 days work.

This particular request would require purchasing a new server and rebuilding a historic database from off site back ups from the past 10 years.

[Psychosplodge]

That's an interesting threshold.

[Wolfshade]

You can also refuse if it is vexing or the data is sensitive perosnally or commercially and of course FoI only applies to public sector firms/data

[Psychosplodge]

So it doesn't apply to your firm anyway?





All, right, I’ve been thinking.

When the Munitorum gives you lemans, don’t make tank divisions!

Make HQ take the lemans back!

Get mad!

I don’t want your damn lemans!

What am I supposed to do with these?

Demand to see the Lord Militant! Make the High Lords rue the day they thought they could give Colonel Johnson lemans!

Do you know who I am? I’m the man who’s gonna watch the galaxy burn - with the lemans!

I’m gonna get my techpriest enginseers to invent a combustible leman that burns your planet down! *koff koff*



Told you tumblr was a bad influence...

[Wolfshade]

No it does, as it is public data.

I have no idea about your tumblr thing

[Psychosplodge]

Are you familiar with the cave johnson life gives you lemons rant?

[Wolfshade]

no

[Psychosplodge]

Ah. it's on youtube...

[Wolfshade]

Ah, having read lots of quotes it is from potal 2, in the old test chamber :)

[DrLove42]

Cave Johnson....legend

I want another Portal game. The humour is incredible....

**** Half Life 3 or Left 4 Dead 3, give me Portal 3!

[eldargal]

http://24.media.tumblr.com/737666faa2d722da289d00bae18778f5/tumblr_mkzwb4HQ8R1qztvpwo1_500.gif
Hurhur.

[Psychosplodge]

We don't need L4D3, just more maps for L4D2...

[eldargal]

Speaking of Portal, funny story time! A friends little brother is a huge Portal fan and absolutely loves GLaDOS, well one day he apparently started wailing and crying and making a huge fuss because he discovered Ms Sexy GLaDOS voice Ellen McLain looks like this:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/76/Ellen_McLain_signing_Atlas_at_Kitacon_2012.jpg/429px-Ellen_McLain_signing_Atlas_at_Kitacon_2012.jpg
He was expecting epic hotness or something.

Same boy, same wailing and sobbing once when I was visiting, we both rushed up to see what was wrong and it turned out he'd seen a photo of his favourite pornstar without makeup and to quote him "S-S-S-SHE LOOKS LIKE Y-Y-Y-YOUUUUU!" indicating his sister. Which she did quite a bit. So at my suggestion she has altered her makeup to look more like her and completely freak the little sh!t out. He's 14.

[Cap'nSmurfs]

Favourite pornst... fourt...

Goddammit, you've turned me into a 45 year old curmudgeon. Kids these days!

[eldargal]

Yup, I don't think she's his favourite anymore, hard to love a pornstar when your sister looks startlingly like her. I should hope.

The look on his face when he first saw her with her new make up though, so wonderful. You could see him think 'OMIGOD she's here I can't bel....Oh dear god no, no....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'. Bahaha.

[DrLove42]

Not to mention the tragic trend of pornstars. They start out young and hot, then after maybe 5-10 years the industry has destroyed them and they look awful.

[eldargal]

Like models I think it depends if they get into drugs and alcohol.

[Wolfshade]

Like models I think it depends if they get into drugs and alcohol.

I recall seeing faces of meth: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2244031/The-horror-Meth-Before-pictures-reveal-shocking-transformation-faces-users-hooked-deadly-drug.html

[Psychosplodge]

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/7/76/Ellen_McLain_signing_Atlas_at_Kitacon_2012.jpg/429px-Ellen_McLain_signing_Atlas_at_Kitacon_2012.jpg.

I knew that was Kitacon! but the photo tag says it lol.
I've got a pic with her twanging the antenna on my brainslug :D

[DrLove42]

What a suprise...poisoning yourself makes you look like crap

It can be booze and drugs. But it also comes from being older and having to compete with the new booby 18 year old.

Another reason Amateur porn is better

[eldargal]

Well excessive plastic surgery and tanning would also contribute. But I think a lot of the belief that pornstars deteriorate massively is based on the completely bogus theory that sexually promiscuous females age prematurely.

[DrLove42]

Yeah that is bollocks.

But I have seen it in some ....uh....stars i was appreciative of in my youth :P

[Psychosplodge]

Favourite pornst... fourt...


You mean you didn't have one at that age? I know I did, can't remember her name though...


Yup, I don't think she's his favourite anymore, hard to love a pornstar when your sister looks startlingly like her. I should hope.

The look on his face when he first saw her with her new make up though, so wonderful. You could see him think 'OMIGOD she's here I can't bel....Oh dear god no, no....NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!'. Bahaha.

lmao



Amateur porn is better

Quoted for truth.

[eldargal]

The funny thing is the makeup really suits her and doesn't make her look particularly slutty. The look of soul crushing horror on his face though, I cherish the memory.:)

So long as all the amateurs are willing participants then sure, none of that hidden camera stuff.

[Psychosplodge]

Hidden camera stuff is crap, you can't see the good bits.

No just the homemade stuff.

Anyway, how attention grabbing is this (http://i.imgur.com/HXRCvR6.jpg)?
http://i42.tinypic.com/2zp350x.jpg

[DrLove42]

95% of "hidden" stuff is blatantly faked. Same as the "incest" and other freaky taboo stuff.


Hidden camera stuff is crap, you can't see the good bits.

No just the homemade stuff.

Anyway, how attention grabbing is this (http://i.imgur.com/HXRCvR6.jpg)?
http://i42.tinypic.com/2zp350x.jpg

I'm sorry the position has already been filled

[Psychosplodge]

At least that's a response, which you don't get 90%+ of the time these days...

[Wildeybeast]

Boom, smashed it. Great set of GCSE results for the first class I've taught through to exams. All bar two hit target grades and about a third got A's. Well chuffed with that. In your face Gove.

[Psychosplodge]

Do you not think a third getting A's isn't a bit high? Or was it a top set and you stream for humanities?

[Wildeybeast]

Nope, we don't stream. We just had some bright, hard workings kids in there, along with some significantly less able ones who worked hard and exceed their targets. Also we are good teachers, which these results demonstrate, hence my outburst of professional pride.

[Psychosplodge]

lol I'll let you off.
You know in my day GCSEs were far harder... but I didn't do RE

[DrLove42]

Good for you Wildey. Teachers never get enough credit these days

[Psychosplodge]

Yes sorry, regardless of the apparent relative difficulties, to get those results with a mixed set is impressive, well done.

[Wildeybeast]

Thanks man. I heard the inevitable moaning on the radio already this morning. This time people are moaning that the kids aren't doing well enough because results fell for the second year running, despite that being exactly what Gove wanted when he changed the grade boundaries to make sure results fell:mad:

[Wolfshade]

Well done, need to find out how my sisters did.

[Psychosplodge]

Apparently the cheese grater is the worlds third coolest carpark :rolleyes:

http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/08/10/article-0-1B3A4E41000005DC-587_964x676.jpg