The Destroy a Wish Foundation

[tylermenz]

So here is how the game works, you look at the wish right before your post and find some way that it comes true, but in an unlikely way with an undesireable outcome. You then post your own wish. Here is an example:

First Post: "I wish I had a brand new space wolves army"

Next Post: "Your wish is granted, but you spend the next 3 days forsaking everything else in order to build and paint it which results in you losing your job, and ending up selling the army for money in order to eat for another week.

I wish...."

So you get the idea, I'll start it off

I wish GW would lower their prices

[the one]

But the only reason GW would EVER do that is if the world is ending, so you only have 2 or 3 days to enjoy it.

I wish I had a better wish.

[Captain Ventris]

your Wish is granted, however your better wish was for a new army, you are given a 3000pt army of Squats. As you spend your next year and a half painting your models, ever hoping that GW releases a new codex for them and you come to the grim realization that you can never field your army under the squats banner. Years pass and still you get no new codex. Eventually you go mad with regret over making such an open-ended wish and you kill yourself...

"I wish that I had enough money to never have to work again and still live comfortably painting my models and gaming in peace untill I am 100 years old"

[The Green Git]

You have a horrible auto accident and are paralyzed and stricken blind, but get a huge settlement from the insurance company of the other driver.

I wish I was 16 again.

[Lord Azaghul]

Your wish is granted.

You're now living back home with your parents, who have decieded that you spend far too much time gaming, and have sold your models, cut your internet connections, and forced you to join the school mathelites team, who saddly enough are smarter then you, so you never have a really change at a college scholar ship...

Wow this game is depressing.

I was I had a new car!

[tylermenz]

your wish is granted, but you are forced to sell all of your wargaming stuff and get another job to afford it. The combined effect of this forcing you to quit wargaming.

I wish I had more time to paint.

[warpcrafter]

You spend all of your time painting miniatures in the federal pen for the warden's snot-nosed brat of a grandson, because it's the only way to avoid teh suprize buttsecks. And all the little brat wants are pretty marines!!!

I wish I could write the next chaos codex, it would have everything chaos from the 40K universe in it!

[Lord Azaghul]

Your wish is granted, and it does change chaos, so much so that they have no longer fallen have seen the error of the there ways, returned to the emperor and are exactly just like space marines.

I wish I had a 5000pts space marine army

[Aldramelech]

Your wish is granted, unfortunatley Graham McNeill then "Comes out" at Games Day 2012 and your army are forever know as "Gay Marines", you cant take the abuse and are forced to play Orks forever!

I wish I could paint to Golden Demon winning standard.

[goliath]

You can paint to a golden Demon standard, but it takes so long to paint a single model, that eventually you give up wargaming through boredom.


I wish I had the new Mega-Dread

[Aldramelech]

You get your Mega Dread but it takes so long to build you become addicted to glue and are permanently brain damaged by resin poisoning.

I wish my flamers got to actually flame something once in a while!

[Lord Azaghul]

Your wish is granted.

Thanks to the hotwire cutter they did, however since your flamers actually caught fire first the damaged they caused to the rest of your armies, models, gaming room and house doesn't really seem worth the trade off.

I wish I had alot more tank bits.

[warpcrafter]

A Fedex truck explodes right in front of your house, and all of your desired tank bits are embedded in your flesh.

I wish that the new Dark Eldar codex was even more S&M and biomechanical than my wildest dreams.

[tylermenz]

Your wish is granted, however, in keeping with thier current timeline the codex does not come out for another 69 years, and by that time you no longer have any interest in those sort of things.

I wish Tau would have more useful units

[The Green Git]

I wish Tau would have more useful units

The new Tau codex comes out with more useful units. And changes all the current units. You have to buy a whole new army.

I wish GW would make a ruling on whether Deffrollas affect vehicles or not.

[Aldramelech]

They make a ruling but its not the one you wanted, in fact they decide that Deffrollers are Gay and ban them totally!

I wish Id finished this bloody guard army already! Bored!

[entendre_entendre]

your wish is granted, but inorder to finish painting the "bloody guard army", you must gather 300L of blood, causing you to have to resort to robbing blood banks. you finish the army, but the smell attracts your neighbours which leads to you being arrested and spending time in the "fun times" prisons.

I wish I could stick to a single paint scheme in my Chaos Marine army.

[lobster-overlord]

Granted, but you just happen to use the exact same paint scheme as a new player in your group and he ends up walking off with both his and your armies, never to be seen again.

I wish they would stop re-doing the Tyranid Codex so that I could finish an army list before I have to change it again.

[entendre_entendre]

your wish is granted, but the 'nids get the "dark eldar treatment" and don't get another new codex until 2030.
i wish gav thorpe hadn't blanded chaos back to the warp.

[Aldramelech]

It is reported that Gav Thorpe prefers "Hungry Hippos" to 40k and looses all credibility, the office tea boy gets promoted and re writes the Chaos dex, but he's never played 40k at all.

I wish I had a new laptop.

[Lord Azaghul]

Your wish is granted. Unfortinately gav had the lap top before you, so now it’s lost all practical functionality, but hey those new features look pretty cool!

I was gav would stop writing. Period.:cool:

[Lerra]

Your wish is granted. Gav Thorpe starts a utopian island cult for 40k gamers, bringing all of the other 40k writers with him. You're not invited. GW hires Wizards of the Coast to write the new codices.

I wish GW the Emperor would ascend to godhood and battle with the Chaos Gods while the Imperium splinters.

[L192837465]

Your wish is granted. Gav Thorpe starts a utopian island cult for 40k gamers, bringing
I wish GW the Emperor would ascend to godhood and battle with the Chaos Gods while the Imperium splinters.

Your wish comes true. The emperor duells the chaos gods in a psychic bout to the death, and the chaos gods emerge the victors. All loyalist armies are now trash, the tyranids leave, the orks go after the tyranids, the eldar beat it on their craftworlds, and all other factions die off. The game is over.

I wish quitting smoking wasn't so friggin hard.

[Snarf]

Your wish comes true... After years of smoking and painting the fumes finally catch alight and sear 90% of your lungs away.

I wish I could go on holiday this year.

[Lerra]

Your wish is granted. For your holiday, you are stuck on an island with Gav Thorpe.

I wish GW was more open about their release schedule.

[Lord Azaghul]

Your wish is granted - they are. And you find you none of your armies will never get a new book again, ever!

I wish I had an extra cup of coffee today.

[Master Bryss]

Your wish is granted, and times freezes to allow you to get your coffee. You pour water into the kettle and attempt to boil it. However, as time is frozen, the water never finishes boiling, you are stuck, frozen in time forever and all you have to read is the current Chaos Codex.

I wish I had a girlfriend that played 40k.

[lobster-overlord]

Wish Granted, but because she's so good at the game, you never win against her, and your army pales in comparison to her 'Eavy Metal level of skill.

I wish I could get time away from my family to actually get to the store to play.

[the one]

You manage to convince them your off for a walk "and I may be some time". Your never seen again.

I wish I wasn't so bored at work.

[Lord Azaghul]

I wish I wasn't so bored at work.


Granted! However, thanks to the current economy...you are now bored at home:(

I wish I didn't have cnn staring me in the face all day

[BuFFo]

Granted.

Now it is FOX News instead...


I wish for a big bowl of fish.

[Herald of Nurgle]

Granted. Strangely enough, it's a bowl of sharks... hope you brought some weaponry.

I wish that Daemons and CSM could be allied again.

[Just_Me]

Granted, to kick off this glorious event GW even decides to rerelease all new and way cooler Daemon models! However, in keeping with this move to get back their roots all of these new models are made out of the mysterious so called “white metal” (developed in top-secret labs to bond to neither glue nor paint, nor any other substance known to man), and are sold singly for the same price as Obliterators. And the minimum unit size for all Daemon packs is 10…

I wish I had a Forge World Reaver titan.

[Cryl]

Granted. Except it's a 'real' one and it's Dark Mechanicus controlled... bad things happen... The End.

I wish they'd release a new necron book

[Master Bryss]

Wish granted, a new Necron book comes out. A Black Library book, that is. Written by Gav Thorpe.

I wish all the Grotz currently lying on my desk were painted.

[Cyberscape7]

Wish granted. Your little sister got hold of them and now they're all pink. Way to go.

I wish that I actually had something to wish for.

[Aldramelech]

Goodbye

[Lord Azaghul]

Granted. Except youve stumbled into the twilight zone and youre stuck in between time. You are unable to interact with anyone.

I was I hadn't pulled my back muscles shoveling snow!

[Cyberscape7]

Granted. Your lungs have collapsed and your are in a severe coma from which you probably won't wake from.
I wish that I had the sheer willpower to paint all of my models.

[entendre_entendre]

Granted. but the sheer mental strain of painting all those minis causes your mind to collapse and you go insane.

I wish I had pie.

[lobster-overlord]

Granted, but you now have only one piece of information in your brain.... PI. All you do every night and day is recite PI. You will not stop until you've recited every last decimal place or die (which ever comes first).

I wish I didn't have to go to work in the morning...

[Cyberscape7]

Granted. Instead you practice all of youe wargaming skills and as a consequence are fired. Ironically without a job you cant get the money to buy all the models you want.

I wish that GW would release more plastic eldar

p.s. I actually did paint all my models. In one night. My sanity is wavering...

[Herald of Nurgle]

Granted. Too bad they're DARK eldar, and the rules don't come out till 2019. DOH!

I wish GW did plastic conversion kits for each of the 4 god troops - bit like the Khorne ones, but better quality.

[Cyberscape7]

Granted. Theay are released with the new CSM codex. They suck now...

I wish that the tyranid issue of white dwarf would finally come through the mail.

[Stormlord Aeirling]

Granted: As you bring it inside your house, eager to start reading, you here a suspicious noise coming from the other room, which just happens to be your kitchen. you walk in to find a bear eating all your foot. When he sees you, he attacks and you block with your magazine,which he grabs out of your hand and begins to read. eventually, he agrees to let you live if you give him the magazine.

I wish for more wave serpents