You know you play 40k too much when...

[Lord Azaghul]

Your looking out your office window wondering if that armour of the Nissan Altima that just drove by would be 6/6/6 or 6/6/5. And the you contemptate scratching building a car pool lane for your gaming table.

[Miggidy Mack]

You're sitting in your dentist office with a codex instead of a magazine and then are annoyed when your name is finally called.

[Denzark]

Your collection is worth more than your 2 cars combined...

[Psychosplodge]

Your collection is worth more than your 2 cars combined...
When your collection is worth more than all the cars you've ever owned combined,
now thats a scary thought...

[Denzark]

Not if you are 13 and have only ever owned matchbox cars. Or are a student and have only had one banger. I am talking about regular 2.4 children etc family guy ie a []

[Psychosplodge]

Lol, so was I. But the numbers only 3 lol

[MajorSoB]

You know you play 40K too much when...

-you get home late and you wonder what saving throw you need to make to stay out of trouble.

-you equate your chances of "getting lucky" with the GF in terms of "what do I need to roll"?

-your house hasn't been painted in 10 years but you can paint a new army in 3 months!

-when you call for pizza the delivery man has your local gaming store listed as your current address.

-you walk into your local gaming store and the smell no longer bothers you.

-your friends on WoW wonder why you havent been online.

-instead of a bride and groom your chose some new shiny 40K figures as a cake topper cause you could use them again!

-you pick London to visit on your honeymoon just so you can stop by Warhammer World.

-your forget your carry on at home but pack two armies instead.

-every shirt you own has paint stains or glue marks on it.

-you spend more on GW figures then your "normal" friends do on beer.

-you cant remember where you left your keys but know exactly where your rule book, tape, templates and dice are at.

[Psychosplodge]

I doubt you'd see much of warhammer world in London...

[imperialsavant]

;) You need a Whole Room just to store your Army Boxes, WIP, Paints, Codexs, BL Books etc & over half of your 3 Car Garage is taken up with Games Tables & Scenary Boxes!:D

[Lord Azaghul]

You wife has given up in here attempts to stop you from buying more models!

[keithsilva]

hey you know my wife or something lol.

When u rather paint or play then play with your on kids

[Lord Azaghul]

hey you know my wife or something lol.

When u rather paint or play then play with your on kids

Now that one'll get you in REAL trouble!

[entendre_entendre]

you play too much 40k when...
- when people talk about the spanish inquisition, you tell them not be quiet or they'll blow up the planet
- your will says you are to become a servo skull when you die
- you teach your kids the ABC's of 40k: Abbadon, Blood angels, Cegorach, Daemon,...
- you think that summary execution is a good way of handling HR
- you don't do drugs for fear of Slaanesh
- you want a pile of skulls on your lawn (and not as a Halloween ornament!)
- when you get sick, you thank Grandfather Nurgle for his blessing.

[warpcrafter]

You have a picture of Gav Thorpe on your dartboard, and it's nearly disintegrated.

[Lord Azaghul]

You have a picture of Gav Thorpe on your dartboard, and it's nearly disintegrated.

Good one!

YOU complain night and day and bad rules, higher prices, and a clear lack of play testing - and you still want to buy the next release!

[MajorSoB]

You have a picture of Gav Thorpe on your dartboard, and it's nearly disintegrated.

Outstanding sir, I salute you!

[eldargal]

When you go to bed early so you can get up at peak BolS time.:rolleyes:

Your friend breaks her unclean one, so you let her use your pet bullfrog as a proxy. Said frog also has his own apoc datasheet.

You spend more on paint than make up.*

You don't have a boyfriend because they cut into hobby time.


*In the grim darkness of the future, there is still lipstick.

[Brother Outs]

Ok... You come home late. from playing a game that went to turn 6, of course, and your girlfriend hands you 2 dice. she says" you need to roll snake eyes or we are fighting!"

[tallyrand]

You have your orders shipped to work because the wife will go ballistic if you bought something new. (Of course once it's with the rest of your stuff, she'll never know the difference.)

[Mystery.Shadow]

You have your orders shipped to work because the wife will go ballistic if you bought something new. (Of course once it's with the rest of your stuff, she'll never know the difference.)

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! This DOES NOT always work!!!! Some women are more perceptive than you think!! Some of them actually read your codex when you're not looking. Some of them CAN tell the difference between a Hive Tyrant and a Carnifex....

You have been warned.

[crazyredpraetorian]

You go back to sleep to finish the game you were dreaming about.

[the one]

You use plastic cutters to cut your nails because they happened to be next to the bed.

[DapperDave]

You don't feel like going to work, so you decide you need to roll a 4+ to call in "sick."

[Lerra]

You use greenstuff to repair a broken nail, and then dab on some primer so that the nail polish sticks better.

Then you decide to paint tzeentchian symbols on your nails.

[Flummer]

You know you play 40K too much when...
-when you call for pizza the delivery man has your local gaming store listed as your current address.


QFT!

You know you play to much 40k when your paychecks have pay automatically deducted because of your purchases. I work at a hobby store...

[Psychosplodge]

When you've got a display cabinet at the end of your bed,
And 2 desks with unopened models on instead of drawers for clothing...

[Lord Azaghul]

When you've got a display cabinet at the end of your bed,
And 2 desks with unopened models on instead of drawers for clothing...

My office closet: pollos on hangers and boxes of bits, blisters, unopened models, random gaming/terrain boxes and several armies.

[MajorSoB]

You know you play 40K too much when...

-you suggest Marnius and Horus for names of your newborn twins.

-your children's teacher ask you why he calls his colors Skull White, Chaos Black, Goblin Green and Ultramarines Blue? His teacher then asks you why he asked where the Eye of Terror was when they visited the planetarium?

-your wife tells you that one magazine subscription is enough, White Dwarf or Maxim! You make the obvious choice....

-you try to have your new purchases sent to work to avoid detection but your wife beats you to the credit card statement!

-instead of planning a vacation with your tax return money you decide to start an new army.

-all your wife's friends refer to her as the woman whose husband plays with toys.

-you have each of your armies listed in your will.

-you recycle your old squat army into Christmas ornaments.

-your girlfriend (or boyfriend) tells you its either 40K or me! Boy, I am gonna miss her...

[Psychosplodge]

And you need another book shelf, because they're bringing out more 40k books, and you can't risk not getting it as 50% is good...

[Just_Me]

-you wonder if you get an invulnerable save against the swine flu.

-you imagine that if you won the lottery you could actually build a Forge World titan legion…

-your paychecks are evenly divided towards “college loans” and “miniatures.”

-you don’t read the newspaper, but you never miss a BoLS article.

-your idea of a “wild time” is playing allied Space Marines and Chaos Daemons (you crazy person you…).

-you’ve read everything Abnett has written, twice…

-you describe the Tyranids by saying “you know the Zerg? Well the Tyranids are what they have nightmares about.”

-you recite a brief appeal to the Omnessiah before you start your car.

-if a priest asked you to describe your conception of God you would say “like the Emperor, but not as awesome.”

-the most exciting thing you have had happen this month is tracking down The Dark King and The Lightening Tower, as an audiobook! (which, by the way, is indeed very exciting)

-you have assembled an entire Defiler, in bed.

[ggg]

When you are waiting to be called into court on a matter and you have Codex imperial Guard tucked between your brief papers.

When on the way to court / work on in a new town you look for the local GW store and have a look around or peer through the window at their display minis (even if you did so the day before).

When you have your own symbols for 40k units and you draw army set ups / army lists using them as a shorthand.

most pieces of paper (including work documents) have army list scribbles on them.

You can calculate any army list for your army from memory to within 5 points.

You roll dice while at your desk / dinner table / while watching TV to see what would happen if 10 bolt guns were fired at ... etc.

You give people you see walking in the street with GW carrier bags 'the nod.'

You equate things in quantities of potential GW purchases (i.e: that coat is the price of 4 Valks-)

You would take holiday (if your wife would let you) just to paint up an army.

If following an English Degree you read more Black Library / Codex material than the rest of your other reading combined.

You check your 40k forum sites more often than the regular news channels / papers.

You find yourself writing a list like this on a forum like this.

[Grotzooka]

You roll dice while at your desk / dinner table / while watching TV to see what would happen if 10 bolt guns were fired at ... etc.

Oh dear. I do this quite often.

[Commissar Lewis]

Speaking of the one that involved reciting an appeal to the Omnissiah before starting a car, anyone here remember the original NES? You practically had to do an AD-Mech ritual to power it up and get it to work.

[MajorSoB]

- you refer to your collection of armies, codexes, paint, etc as "your investments".

[Scoota]

- You're on a first name basis with your Force Commander. "So, at that point, Vulkan did this..."
- You refer to your steak knife as your 'Relic blade'.
- People have no idea who you are when you're introduced as Scott... but as soon as someone says "Games boy"...
- You make odd comments while watching sport - "That guy trying to steal second base just rolled a 1 for fleet."
- After a work colleague gets a blasting from your boss and runs from the office crying, you say to yourself "They just rolled a double 6."
- You consider offering your soul to Slaanesh for a date with the attractive person standing next to you.
- You dedicate the best piece of steak on the BBQ to Khorne.
- You consider 'tank shocking' those protestors blocking the road you're driving on.
- You wish a Lictor would jump from behind that fake pot-plant in your boss's office during a boring meeting.
- Peak hour traffic makes you wish you'd paid for that dozer blade on your car, or wonder how much a pintle-mounted multi-melta would cost.

[Lord Azaghul]

When you are waiting to be called into court on a matter and you have Codex imperial Guard tucked between your brief papers.

When on the way to court / work on in a new town you look for the local GW store and have a look around or peer through the window at their display minis (even if you did so the day before).


most pieces of paper (including work documents) have army list scribbles on them.

You can calculate any army list for your army from memory to within 5 points.

You roll dice while at your desk / dinner table / while watching TV to see what would happen if 10 bolt guns were fired at ... etc.


You equate things in quantities of potential GW purchases (i.e: that coat is the price of 4 Valks-)

You check your 40k forum sites more often than the regular news channels / papers.

You find yourself writing a list like this on a forum like this.

Oh god I do all those things. When my wife goes shoppings or wants to repaint a room in the house I often think: That could have been x new vehicles!... I do not tell her these thoughts!

[Xas]

you've done all the things written out so far...
and wonder whats so bad about it!

[Vorlon]

Things I have done....
-Laid hands on my malfunctioning cell phone and said "Machine Heal Thyself"
-Named my new computer "The Omnissiah"
-Having a machine cult cogwheel design stenciled and ready to have professionally painted on my next laptop
-Laughed at a guy next to me in the gym because he looked EXACTLY like a Kasrkin Sargent (he kept looking at me and Im pretty sure he was about to punch me)

-Alienated every WoW player at work by proving WoW/Starcraft is a total ripoff of 40k...was NOT difficult
-Finally... Put many hours into researching the possibility of turning an AK47 into a big shoota

[Aldramelech]

You would take holiday (if your wife would let you) just to paint up an army

Ive done that!

[N0rdicNinja]

You would take holiday (if your wife would let you) just to paint up an army

Ive done that!

Ditto... and on more than one occasion XD

[Farsight]

Things I have done....
-Laid hands on my malfunctioning cell phone and said "Machine Heal Thyself"

-Alienated every WoW player at work by proving WoW/Starcraft is a total ripoff of 40k...was NOT difficult


If you try hard enough, the first on really works. My friend still denies that WoW and Warhammer have anything to do with each other.

-when you have to remove great works of literature from your shelves to make room for Abnett's books.
-when you have enough models to reenact every major conflict in the 40 universe for the past 10000 years.

[ForeverHero]

Man, it's kind of scarry on how many of these I have done....

[Duke]

After reading all this I almost feel dirty, I do all of this way to much... the one that hit home was the dice rolling. Soooo sad.

Duke

PS - When a friend loses his Force Commander mini and you tell him to "pray to the emperor and all will be revealed"

[Lord Azaghul]

After reading all this I almost feel dirty, I do all of this way to much... the one that hit home was the dice rolling. Soooo sad.

Duke

PS - When a friend loses his Force Commander mini and you tell him to "pray to the emperor and all will be revealed"


It was the dice one for me too... I'll even have a piece of scratch paper handy to add all the hits and wounds, then find my averages...My wife has stopped asking "what are you doing?'

[L192837465]

WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! This DOES NOT always work!!!! Some women are more perceptive than you think!! Some of them actually read your codex when you're not looking. Some of them CAN tell the difference between a Hive Tyrant and a Carnifex....

You have been warned.


You have gotten caught trying to hide purchases secretly made, and post warnings on a forum for other gamers.

[Duke]

It was the dice one for me too... I'll even have a piece of scratch paper handy to add all the hits and wounds, then find my averages...My wife has stopped asking "what are you doing?'

The best part is this one time I was rolling dice a few days ago to see what 2 flamers would do to a tac squad... As I was picking up my failed "to wounds," my wife walks by and says "You missed a 3," I was both super excited and tottally embarassed. lol

Duke

[MajorSoB]

The best part is this one time I was rolling dice a few days ago to see what 2 flamers would do to a tac squad... As I was picking up my failed "to wounds," my wife walks by and says "You missed a 3," I was both super excited and tottally embarassed. lol

Duke

Yeah you should be embarrassed, flamers autohit and wound marines on a 4!!!! :D

[Duke]

Yeah you should be embarrassed, flamers autohit and wound marines on a 4!!!! :D

Right, a 3 is a failed to wound... if you read, I was picking up failed to wounds... Now who is embarrased, lol? wink wink.

Duke

[MajorSoB]

Right, a 3 is a failed to wound... if you read, I was picking up failed to wounds... Now who is embarrased, lol? wink wink.

Duke

You got me!

[Sister Rosette Soulknyt]

When you would rather spend your xmas bonus on th enew miniature or tank just out.
When you spend more time painting those miniatures than your spending with your partnres.
When you compare your frineds with Orks, IG, Nids and Tau.
When you can say you have have every White Dwarf magazine likes its winning the Lottery.
When you know exactly how much a new army cost when you do win the Lottery.
When you read this thread and can nod your head in aggreement to how many things your doing.
When instead of nightly prairs your wishing for an update or new mini's for your army.
When you cry when your named scecial character dies horribly (ive seen this happen...sad)
When you run out of paint and its 4 days to payday and time really slows down.
When you dream of the perfect 40k game and your the Commander.
When you get a tattoo of your army symbol

[gwensdad]

When your daughter is watching Disney's "Zeke and Luther" and for some reason you think of it as "Lion-El and Luther"
You tell people that threatening a machine will cause it's spirit to respond and start working right.
You refer to the tech department as tech marines or Mechanicus.
You refer to your employers founder as "the primarch"

[Aldramelech]

When your tin of Chaos black spray is nearly empty and start to plan a trip into town to get some more, whilst worrying its not going to last. (Yep, happening right now!)

[Psychosplodge]

When you see the ending to cloverfield and think hmm mycetic spore... (however thats spelt...)

[entendre_entendre]

your love of space wolves leads you to wear a baby-blueish/gray tux to your own wedding.

you don't use yo momma jokes, you use yo hive fleet jokes. (yo hive fleet so stupid, they thought Horus worked the street corner!)

you have a picture of a Daemonette in your room, a you valiantly defend that it's not a fetish-poster of any kind.

(for those interested in men [real ones, not plastic]: ) the "your perfect man" quiz on facebook/myspace states he should be 7' tall, broad, and likes committing genocide in the name of honour. He also believes in "purging the unclean".

(for those interested in women [I'd love to say not plastic ones, but nowadays, it seems almost everyone's getting work done...]: ) the "your perfect woman" quiz on facebook/myspace states she avoids wearing hats, but wears black armour and carries a loaded machine gun at all times. She also believes in "purity at all times".

you think nothing of having a large Imperial Aquila tattooed on your body somewhere, but now find you're not welcome in synagogues anymore...

your nightmares consist of GW bringing back the Sq@ts.

you spend more on GW stuff in a month than small countries spend in an entire year.

you think you hear kids say "baneblade", but they're really talking about Beyblades (battle tops).

when stuck behind a slow driver, you wish you could perform a tank shock-ram, but don't do so b/c you don't want to risk the return hit on your front armour.

when driving, you want a large dozer blade on the front of your car so you can tank shock jaywalkers.

[gwensdad]

You look for a red Snuggie so you can cosplay an Adeptus Mechanicus

(and I did look at a display of them the other day. Didn't actually see any red)

[Commissar Lewis]

- When, during an Info Tech class, you talk to the machine spirit of a PC you have to diagnose and fix. Hell, my binder for that class even had a pic of the Ad Mech symbol on it.

[Jive Tyrant]

When your spare bedroom looks like a GW stockroom...

(I really must get around to building all that stuff...)

[Dark_Templar]

-if a priest asked you to describe your conception of God you would say “like the Emperor, but not as awesome.”


Controversial, but also true. :D



- You make odd comments while watching sport - "That guy trying to steal second base just rolled a 1 for fleet."
-

That's awesome.


When you keep a tally of your family's spending so you know how many "GW credits" you have accrued.

[snikrot]

when you cant smell glue or paint anymore

[gwensdad]

Instead of yelling "F-you" at bad drivers on the road, you find yourself screaming "BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!" at them.

The only Christmas list you've created so far is the one at GW's website.

Your weekend is ruined because your special order STILL hasn't come in (WTF GW, get that order to my store already!)

You get upset when it's suggested that you give some of your fantasy horses to your little girl to paint up as Christmas presents to the grandparents. (yeah, it's happening anyway)

You have nicknames for your gaming friends-and those names are chaos gods.

[Cryl]

The only Christmas list you've created so far is the one at GW's website.


Damn it, you got me :p

[Night System]

when you cant smell glue or paint anymore

So True!
I used to love the smell of new sprue.... grrr ;)

[Jive Tyrant]

when you cant smell glue or paint anymore

But to be fair that's also a symptom of not playing ANY 40K.

[gwensdad]

You follow 40K cospolayers on twitter. And deviantart. And found a cosplaying forum for 40K and really really want to start butstopmebeforeIstartcosplayingHELP!

[Just_Me]

So True!
I used to love the smell of new sprue.... grrr ;)

By contrast, when the first thing you do after opening a new Codex or box is take a deep sniff of that "new GW smell" (kinda like "new car smell" but only slightly more expensive...).

[dumbobob]

As a new 40k player I must admit my future looks bleak... but interesting none the least :)


When you break up with your girlfriend of 2 and a half years and your first thought is "looks like I'm finally going to be able to finish painting that army now"

[Wolfshade]

When you keep a tally of your family's spending so you know how many "GW credits" you have accrued.

That happened to me yesterday, we did the grocery shopping and ususally buy a belgium bun or other treat as the reward for getting it done, the wife turns to me and goes "so what are you having as your treat", I replied "paint", she looked at me with that look, the "disapproving but understanding tolerance" look

[Aldramelech]

Ahh that look......

I know it soooo well lol

[Lord Azaghul]

That happened to me yesterday, we did the grocery shopping and ususally buy a belgium bun or other treat as the reward for getting it done, the wife turns to me and goes "so what are you having as your treat", I replied "paint", she looked at me with that look, the "disapproving but understanding tolerance" look

Ah I got that look friday - when I returned home after gaming/shoping with the rest of my wifes GW gifts to me!

[Master Bryss]

- When you draw a picture of yourself in power armour in your Biology folder (I have to confess to this one... it's not my fault I can't draw helmets properly!)
-When you get annoyed with someone and begin to imagine blowing their head off with a bolt pistol
-When your computer auto-corrects 'orc' to 'ork'
-When you start converting models that look suspiciously like people you know.

[entendre_entendre]

-When you start converting models that look suspiciously like people you know.

... so you can land ordnance templates on their heads... muhuhahahahahaha!

...too much 40k when...

- you yell "gak" and "feth" as curse words instead of their real life counterparts
- when you sneak up on people you don't think you're a ninja but that you're Marbo (or a lictor, or an Assassin, or ...)
- your bookshelf has more 40k literature than anything else (guilty)

[gwensdad]

You here a children's song titled "It's a no-no to Kiss a Rhino!" and you have a this strange image of a marine APC being kissed (and now I wonder if it's a no-no for razorbacks as well-YET ANOTHER SIGN!)