Bloody women!!!

[Mr Mystery]

Sorry for the sexist title, but....

So there I am tonight, enjoying things and looking pretty bloody awesome in my Pinhead outfit.

Toward the end of the night, my friend Elaine tells me her friend who I met tonight is really rather keen on me. AFTER SAID GIRL HAS LEFT!!!! Seriously, how does that help? When it comes to women, I'm oblivious enough when it comes to the fairer sex, and need all the help I can get.

And said girl is really quite lovely. But no. You can't possibly tell me when she's still there so I can practice my horribly clumsy moves. Oh no. That might make things a smidge easier!

DAMMIT!

[eldargal]

Ha!

[Rev. Tiberius Jackhammer]

There's always tomorrow!

Besides, "clumsy moves" and "Pinhead costume" probably don't mix well :P You could put someone's eye out!

[theirkin]

There's always tomorrow!

Besides, "clumsy moves" and "Pinhead costume" probably don't mix well :P You could put someone's eye out!

Screw that! Sounds like a recipe for a great story to me!

-Joe

[Deadlift]

You did her number from her friend though didn't you ?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Poor Mystery!

[Psychosplodge]

That has potentially horrendous consequences, if it doesn't work out you risk losing the other girl as a friend too depending on how close you are compared to how close she is to the friend she's trying to set you up with...

[Mr Mystery]

Well, she's accepted a friend request. Shame my much needed Dutch courage is all gone! I'm now akin to Pacman without a power pill. Rather than chasing them down, it's time to leg it!

[Psychosplodge]

Just send her a picture of yourself with "want it?"

guaranteed to be amusing to everyone else.

[Deadlift]

Well, she's accepted a friend request. Shame my much needed Dutch courage is all gone! I'm now akin to Pacman without a power pill. Rather than chasing them down, it's time to leg it!

Friends on Facebook ?

5 words in a message is all you need :). "Fancy going for a drink ?"
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What's the worst that can happen. She says no, you know where you stand and you move on

Or

She says yes and your in :)

But beware the words, "I like you as a friend" lol

Good luck mate.

[Psychosplodge]

Friends on Facebook ?

5 words in a message is all you need :). "Fancy going for a drink ?"
Nothing ventured, nothing gained. What's the worst that can happen. She says no, you know where you stand and you move on

Or

She says yes and your in :)

But beware the words, "I like you as a friend" lol

Good luck mate.

This may be better advice...

[Mr Mystery]

Well, we're kind of talking now...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Yey!

[Mr Mystery]

And she's an Air Stewardess. Giggedy!

[Deadlift]

And she's an Air Stewardess. Giggedy!

You may just have sorted next years Halloween costume out ;)

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Wow, get ready to join the Mile High Club. :p

[Mr Mystery]

Hehehe!

And date arranged for Tuesday!

[Denzark]

The prospect of getting your rocks of at 40000 ft is slightly less savoury when imagining the claustrophobic nature of the stinky toilet, with fecal particles of the last sweaty fat man to use the toilet, who burst his haemorroids whilst straining to get rid of in-flight peanuts, hovering into the noses of you and your partner.

[Mr Mystery]

Well that an it might cost her her job. Which isn't cool :p

[Psychosplodge]

The prospect of getting your rocks of at 40000 ft is slightly less savoury when imagining the claustrophobic nature of the stinky toilet, with fecal particles of the last sweaty fat man to use the toilet, who burst his haemorroids whilst straining to get rid of in-flight peanuts, hovering into the noses of you and your partner.

Who said romance was dead?

Also which approach did you take, mine or Deadlift's?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Well done on the date Mystery. :)

[Mr Mystery]

Even weirder, she is literally the girl next door. I'm at 53, she's in 55. Freaky!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

What?!?!? How did you not notice her before?!?

[Mr Mystery]

Oblivious is my middle name!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Oh really? I thought it was Jeff...

[Denzark]

Even weirder, she is literally the girl next door. I'm at 53, she's in 55. Freaky!


Remember, never sh*t on your own doorstep. Sounds immensely bad news.

[Mr Mystery]

And a quick Facebook photo browse has found bikini photos. Mmmmmm yeah!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Playa!

[Mr Mystery]

Remember, never sh*t on your own doorstep. Sounds immensely bad news.

It will be fine! Never made a habit of just using people!

[Kirsten]

no, you use them then hide the bodies...

>.>
<.<

[Mr Mystery]

Well there is a graveyard out back....

[Kirsten]

I have always maintained that the best place to hide a body would be a cemetary, nobody would look for new bodies in a cemetary.

[SotonShades]

You weren't by any chance in Redeemer in Leicester were you? There was a very good pinhead costume in there.

I know what you mean though, women do tend to hide liking you a lot. I also get the thing were they are obviously flirty or do let you know they actually do like you... but they have a bf so couldn't do anything about it...

[Mr Mystery]

Yup!

Now, do I dig out those dunkies in advance??

[Psychosplodge]

Even weirder, she is literally the girl next door. I'm at 53, she's in 55. Freaky!


Remember, never sh*t on your own doorstep. Sounds immensely bad news.
The man has a point...


I have always maintained that the best place to hide a body would be a cemetary, nobody would look for new bodies in a cemetary.

Makes sense. You wouldn't be able to use a scent trained dog to find them at least...

[MovesLikeJaeger]

Remember to wear goggles and a fuzzy pimp hat to the date. This cannot possibly go wrong.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

The Pimp hand is strong in this one.

[Mr Mystery]

Well. First hitch has been encountered! Dusting down the duvet, and off to the laundrette to make sure I can take full advantage should the opportunity present itself, and bah. The laundrette is doing service washes until 4:30, which means I need to go back around 5. Lame!

[Psychosplodge]

oh dear...

[Mr Mystery]

I hate the laundrette! Perhaps I should take a tenner with, have a couple of pints whilst the machines are going.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Noes!

[Mr Mystery]

Need to clean bedding! My fart sack is well named!

Should also clean the bathroom, including the Kidderminster too. And dust. And Hoover. But not too much. I don't want her thinking I'm a slob (I'm not) but need to avoid concern I may be a whoopsie in the closet...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hah!

[Psychosplodge]

You could just go back to hers if the offers there...it's not that far really.

[Mr Mystery]

True. But my place is marginally closer in case of an abundance of randiosity.

[Psychosplodge]

Good luck with that...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hahahahah!

[Deadlift]

Well. First hitch has been encountered! Dusting down the duvet, and off to the laundrette to make sure I can take full advantage should the opportunity present itself

Optimistic aren't you ? Lol.

[Psychosplodge]

Cynicism is good, you’ll be a happier person if you’re miserable all the time. (http://randomyrandomthings.tumblr.com/post/33485323339/cynicism-is-good-youll-be-a-happier-person-if)

[Mr Mystery]

Optimistic aren't you ? Lol.

Simply being ready! Would be nice to have a clean bed should things go exceptionally well, no?

[Psychosplodge]

You could always have a knee-trembler in the ladies if there's that much randiness...

[Mr Mystery]

Not for the first time! I do have some concept of romance!

Speaking of which, mop and bucket bought. Kitchenette clean, and I have done battle with the bog. It wasn't happy, but I think I won! Just an hour or so then off to the laundrette to do the rest. Next up, Hoover and dust. Then possibly dinner. I'm a bit peckish...

[Psychosplodge]

:D

[Mr Mystery]

Oh, and table booked. Got to love a free Taste card being a work perk!

[Psychosplodge]

Don't go buy one get one free on a first date...

We're here to help

[Mr Mystery]

It's not.


It's 50% off. And I'm broke.

[Psychosplodge]

That's about the same.

sowy

[Mr Mystery]

Meh.

[Psychosplodge]

pizza and a movie!

[Mr Mystery]

Cinema is miles off! Though could invite her round mine...

[Psychosplodge]

There you go, snuggled up the settee...

[Mr Mystery]

Got Lovefilm and Netflix, so should be able to accommodate anything.

Though I should probably hide the bongo...

[Psychosplodge]

And the space marines...

[Mr Mystery]

Hell no!

[Psychosplodge]

Just at first till she likes you enough to not let it bother her lol

[Mr Mystery]

Pffrt! What would the Great Maw say if I his his sons??? Plus it makes me look artsy fartsy! Chicks dig artsy fartsy!

[Deadlift]

Pffrt! What would the Great Maw say if I his his sons??? Plus it makes me look artsy fartsy! Chicks dig artsy fartsy!

But they don't generally dig 40k :)

[Mr Mystery]

Don't underestimate my charm!

[Mr Mystery]

Well **** my ****ing luck.

Same old same old.

[Psychosplodge]

?

[Mr Mystery]

For the past 9 years, every time I have arranged a date another guy has appeared from ****ing nowhere and derailed things.

I think I'm going to declare myself asexual and go live up a tree.

[Psychosplodge]

on the plus side, at least she did before it cost you an arm/leg/time, and not halfway through a quickie...

[Mr Mystery]

Grrrr.

When I find whoever has laid this curse on me, they had best run. Fast.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Oh god......

[Deadlift]

At least your duvets clean :)

[Denzark]

Send her a link to this thread so she knows what she's missing. You'll have thighs around ears in no time.

[Wolfshade]

At least your duvets clean :)

Every cloud has a silver lining

[Psychosplodge]

Send her a link to this thread so she knows what she's missing. You'll have thighs around ears in no time.

Sounds like a winning plan...

[Mr Mystery]

That's it. I have been trolled by the fairer sex for too long. In my best Duncan Bannatyne voice, I'm out.

Just been contacted by the girl I've been chasing since new year, who wants to meet up after giving me the cold shoulder for a couple of months.

Women, troll me no more. If anyone wants me, I'll be down the docks >:(

[Psychosplodge]

Maybe thats the upside to the previous potential wench's withdrawal from proceedings?

[Mr Mystery]

Dude. This is women we're talking about.

Once again, and through absolutely no fault of my own, I'm about to be damned. If I turn Annabel down, I'll regret it. If I take Annabel up on the offer, Kate will think I'm a two faced pile of poo.

GRAAAHHHHHH ROSS SMASH!!!!!!!

[Deadlift]

FFS mate, one thing to take note with women in general is let them know though your a man of action. Don't second guess what one bird is going to think. It's just dating at the end of the day. Take one out and if the other agrees to, go on a date with her as well. One thing women always want, is what they don't think they can have.

Be a man of action. Grow some balls and be damned about what and who will think about you. Oh and whining about your ****ty love life on here will get you no where.

Best if luck and no insults intended :)

[Psychosplodge]

Well she's just done the same to you, with another bloke on the scene so it's not unreasonable. And to be fair it's well known that once one woman shows interest in you, others do too...

[Mr Mystery]

Right. Testicular fortitude mode engaged. Seeing Annabel on Friday. Pizza and movie night.

[Deadlift]

Right. Testicular fortitude mode engaged. Seeing Annabel on Friday. Pizza and movie night.

Good for you, and sorry if I came across abrupt in my previous post. Have fun and avoid any garlic lol.

[Psychosplodge]

And hide the space marines, at least the first time...

[Mr Mystery]

She's already seen my models! And is into painting anyway. Ha!

[Psychosplodge]

Keeper.

[Mr Mystery]

Got to seal the deal first....

[Psychosplodge]

minor details...

[alshrive]

well good luck chum, hope it all pans out in the end! i had atrocious luck with women / mucked a lot up before i sorted out to be where i am now so don't worry, you will be fine!

[Denzark]

The Admiralty commands that you Sink, Burn, or Take Her a Prize.

Doesn't need to be in that order though.

[Build]

I agree with Deadlift, trying to second guess a lady is like trying to fly a plane that likes to stall in mid flight, it's only going to end in you crashing and burning.

Don't second guess, go with what you know and what would make you happier/what is more secure. In my sagely old age I go with that, being a man of action and making the choices helps a lot more, but any of that emotional black mailing, indecisiveness because really, you're a nice guy and she doesn't want to hurt your feelings (all women who do this need to take a long walk off a short pier) or that changing rubbish then I would cut your losses and jump ship.

Never be afraid to say no or end things if they are causing you more agro than happiness.


Also, ditch her if she pulls that "What are you thinking" crap, nothing is more annoying especially if you have been thinking of this because your answer will only get her panties bunched (and not in the good way) if you tell her the truth and by the same principle if you say "nothing" then she won't be happy with that either.

https://fbcdn-sphotos-g-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/603417_469073519777778_756385286_n.jpg

[Psychosplodge]

Soooooo, Friday? looking up?

[Mr Mystery]

Met her kids, who are awesome. But nothing really happened.

Which is understandable. Defo happening again which is a positive!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Yey!!!

[Psychosplodge]

It was going so well...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Shush you.

[Denzark]

Met her kids, who are awesome. But nothing really happened.

Which is understandable. Defo happening again which is a positive!

Kids? Yeesh.

[Psychosplodge]

Shush you.


Kids? Yeesh.

See not just me.

[Mr Mystery]

See not just me.

Weaklings! I don't mind kids so much. But don't want any of my own!

[Psychosplodge]

Weaklings! I don't mind kids so much. But don't want any of my own!

LOL, I'm of the attitude if i don't want any why would I want someone else's?

[Deadlift]

Weaklings! I don't mind kids so much. But don't want any of my own!

Kids aren't so bad, I love being a father. It has its ups and downs but there's nothing better than being called "Dad"

[Psychosplodge]

DL have you got two? Do a scientific test for us, show one star wars in the original order, and the other star wars in numerical order(this assumes they're still of the age not to have seen star wars yet.)

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

No......

[Deadlift]

DL have you got two? Do a scientific test for us, show one star wars in the original order, and the other star wars in numerical order(this assumes they're still of the age not to have seen star wars yet.)

My 2 youngest are a bit young, 2 and a half and 5, the 5 year old was obsessed with Darth Vader for awhile until she saw Anakin fry in Lava on YouTube, gave her such bad nightmares I ended up giving her a plush Yoda to protect her at night. Both love the Lego Starwars series though.

[Psychosplodge]

It's important....for science....

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbio9wKTi91r4ny5to1_400.gif

So when they're old enough then...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Psycho....

[Deadlift]

Will do, maybe another trilogy to throw into the mix. By then :)

[Psychosplodge]

Will do, maybe another trilogy to throw into the mix. By then :)

That would really confuse things lol

[DrLove42]

I'm actually an advocate of the machete order of the films. And to those who don't know, that's 4,5,2,3,6.

Its a story of Luke how he learns his gift and then gets in a bad way. We find out Vader is his father. Boom. Cut to Anakin learning his gift and getting into a bad way. He turns dark, wears black and uses a lot of violence and darkness falls. Cut back to Luke, in 6, in all black and being violent - its clear Luke is tempted by the Darkness - except he then recovers and proves himself a better man by turning against it.

Ands you never need to see Episode 1.

I had the kids talk with the wife now we're married we set realistic ideas for it. So we know what to expect and when

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Oh dear Gods...

Talos help me...

[Psychosplodge]

I'm actually an advocate of the machete order of the films. And to those who don't know, that's 4,5,2,3,6.

Its a story of Luke how he learns his gift and then gets in a bad way. We find out Vader is his father. Boom. Cut to Anakin learning his gift and getting into a bad way. He turns dark, wears black and uses a lot of violence and darkness falls. Cut back to Luke, in 6, in all black and being violent - its clear Luke is tempted by the Darkness - except he then recovers and proves himself a better man by turning against it.

Ands you never need to see Episode 1.

I had the kids talk with the wife now we're married we set realistic ideas for it. So we know what to expect and when

See you need a set of triplets so you can trial all three approaches, there's a Phd in something for you there...