The Bad Loser thread!

[Mr Mystery]

No, not suggesting anyone here is!

But I do want to hear the sort of childish things you would say to your opponent if you were. Preferably game specific, but not necessarily so!

To start..... 'Gah! I hope Nurgle gobs in your pint!'

'yeah? Well? You beat me, jerk. And for that I pray Slaanesh frotters your Cornflakes'

'you see when you finally get a girl, when you're like 70, and you've paid? I hope Tzeentch changes her into a bloke!'

'Git. Khorne is going to claim you (insert pet)'

Right, off you go!

[DarkLink]

"I played horribly. A rabid squirrel could have beaten me."

[Necron2.0]

People love to play against me because I am such an amiable loser. I am so amiable because I know ... I'm cursed. Seriously, no excuse. I fail epically at dice rolls, and it doesn't matter how I roll them. Even through a tumbler they come out crap. And it's not just me saying it, it's a known thing amongst my friends. There are some in my group who in all seriousness will not let me touch their dice.

However, if I were prone to being a jerk about it ...

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"I hope you trip on the way out the door and crush that spammy, non-canon army of yours into bits!"

"The only reason you won is because you didn't use your army right!" (Refers to someone castling his close combat army or else charging with his shootie army unexpectedly.)

"You won? SO WHAT! What do you want - a case of K-Y so your Space Priests can go back to butt @#$%ing the Neophytes?"

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Here's two things I've actually seen:

1) A guy two tables down picks a metal figure off the table, halls back and pitches it as hard as he can against the concrete wall behind his opponent. Small metal bits fly everywhere.

2) Same guy (different day) grabs a handful of something off the table and walks briskly towards the door. Dice trail behind him as they slip from his clenched fist. He swings the door open roughly and hurls what's left in his hand far out into the parking lot.

[eldargal]

http://art.penny-arcade.com/photos/1187426273_pB6an-L.jpg

If you're a girl, burst into tears.

[Necron2.0]

If you're a girl, burst into tears.

I'm assuming that would be less likely to have an impact against another female though.

[eldargal]

Yep, but against most boys it's the emotional equivalent of a dirty bomb.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

A "dirty bomb"? Sounds sexy...

[Wolfshade]

I enjoy a good beating, my safe word is bananahammock

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Stole my word...