Worst chat up line ever.

[eldargal]

Idiot: 'Hey, are you a career criminal? Because I want to felon you.
EG: '...what?'

In hindsight I should have thumped him for being a blight on human intellect.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Wait, what? How does that even work?

[Wolfshade]

I want to felon you,*falls over*

"You're coming with me with or without the rohypnol"

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

It's a grammatic error! You can't "fell" on someone.

I still maintain that THIS (http://1d4chan.org/images/3/37/Taldeer_and_vindy.jpg) is the worst chat up line ever.

[eldargal]

'404 Forbidden' is pretty bad, but not as bad as the other one.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

EDIT: For some reason the link does not wish to work.

[Wolfshade]

Chap I used to work with had hundreds of them, such as the one previously quoted.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Why does it keep blocking!

[Wolfshade]

Because it is an abomination?

[Gotthammer]

Because it recognised the names in that URL?


Worst line:

Wave person you're interested in over, then when they get to you say "I made you come with one hand, just think what I could do with two."

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Ah, true. It is 1d4chan after all...

[SotonShades]

is that better or worse than "You're ugly, but you'll do for tonight."?

Seriosuly I have heard this said in ernest. No idea if it was successful or not as it was chucking out time at the club in question.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

My mate headbutted a girl and ended up getting laid. Who knew?

[DrLove42]

I used to open with "I'm just asking for you to turn me down now so I can get on with the rest of my evening"

Actually not the worst line ever either....worked occassionally...

TDA - I played Guitar Hero really badly and got married. Who knew?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

TDA - I played Guitar Hero really badly and got married. Who knew?

I played Through the Fire and the Flames by Dragonforce on Expert, finished it, went to do the rock sign and sprained my wrist AND my hand. Good times. :D

[DrLove42]

I once did the drumming on Rock Band near non stop for 2 days and spent 2 days with my arm in a temporary sling cos it was too painful to move the next day.

[eldargal]

Well I'd marry a krogan so it isn't that surprising.

My mate headbutted a girl and ended up getting laid. Who knew?

I still think the one I posted is the worst, funnily enough been subjected to a lot of the others as well.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

You can fight like a Krogan, run like a leopard, but you'll never be better than Commander Shepard. :p

[eldargal]

I'll settle for equal too.:p Funnily enough, playing ME3 multiplayer right now and obliterating everything as a soldier. Too much latency to play vanguard for some reason.

Oh, best chat up line in a while:

"I used to date a girl like you, 'til I took an arrow in the knee'

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I'll settle for equal too.:p Funnily enough, playing ME3 multiplayer right now and obliterating everything as a soldier. Too much latency to play vanguard for some reason.

Oh, best chat up line in a while:

"I used to date a girl like you, 'til I took an arrow in the knee'

Holy sh!t! Hahahahaha! I just choked on my drink. :D

Xbox, PS3, or PC?

[eldargal]

PC.

[wittdooley]

Do lines like this EVER actually work?

I dunno, I just always went with being genuine.

"Hi, I'm Sean, you look really nice tonight so I thought I'd try and come talk to you," never seemed to fail for me...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Same here. :D Apparently women appreciate honesty.

[eldargal]

I refuse to go out with a boy who uses a chat up line on principle, even the Skyrim one though we ended up having a great chat about Skyrim.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

What about if it's an obvious joke?

[Mr Mystery]

I'm sorry, does this taste of rohypnol?


But yeah. I fear women. I don't know how to talk to them. At all.

But my word I hang out with hotties!

[Necron2.0]

I refuse to go out with a boy who uses a chat up line on principle ....

Hmmm. This cannot possibly be true, assuming you do actually date. If the man initiates the conversation, ultimately he'd have to use a chat up line, even if it's just, "Hello."

Of course, I supposed you could be the lioness, the dance floor is the Serengeti, and all those boys are unsuspecting gazelles.

Actually, that sounds a bit like my wife.

[eldargal]

Well I don't mean things like 'Hi, my names Cornelius McNab, just wondering if you want to dance/chat/discuss the geopolitical ramifications of the Syrian civil war', I mean the silly things which are just calculated to be a vaguely subtler way of asking to have sex. Sincerity ftw. But no I don't date much, boys take up too much time that could be spent gaming or with friends.:p

[scadugenga]

. But no I don't date much, boys take up too much time that could be spent gaming or with friends.:p

Well, you are a Valkyrie in disguise. That can throw off guys who can't appreciate strong intelligent self- confidant women. :cool:

That being said, I'm right with Witt on this--"hi, I'm Jon" always served me fine. After that the nonverbal cues will let you know if the conversation is welcome or not.

Mr. M: the secret to conversing with women is deceptively simple--don't have an ulterior motive for the conversation. Just enjoy it for what it is and where it goes. Having a specific "goal" for talking to a lady--specifically in a club, or other social setting, is not a good idea. The "goal" tends to overshadow your personality and typically ends up with you shooting yourself on the foot.

[Denzark]

Knew of a fella who used tp go into the street outside after kicking out time at 0200. If he was on his own, he used to shout at the top of his voice:

"BIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTCHHHHHHHHH HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!"

You would be surprised how many would either go over to remonstrate with him or whatever, and then would end up accompanying him away.

[Mr Mystery]

Well, you are a Valkyrie in disguise. That can throw off guys who can't appreciate strong intelligent self- confidant women. :cool:

That being said, I'm right with Witt on this--"hi, I'm Jon" always served me fine. After that the nonverbal cues will let you know if the conversation is welcome or not.

Mr. M: the secret to conversing with women is deceptively simple--don't have an ulterior motive for the conversation. Just enjoy it for what it is and where it goes. Having a specific "goal" for talking to a lady--specifically in a club, or other social setting, is not a good idea. The "goal" tends to overshadow your personality and typically ends up with you shooting yourself on the foot.

Yep. Tried that. I genuinely cannot talk to them. Pretty much everything else in life comes easy. Talking to girls is horrendous.

32, and my longest relationship is 5 months...

[scadugenga]

Oh, and the worst pick up line I've ever witnessed was from some arsehead when I was in grad school. He went up to my girlfriend's roommate (whom I was tasked with taking out to go dancing/acting as gene pool lifeguard by said girlfriend) while we were getting drinks.

Idiot: hey, You're hot, and I have some X. You want to party?

G/F's Roommate: I'm in law school to be a prosecutor...(death glare). No.

Idiot: So...what about some Horse then? I really want to get in those pants.

G/F's Roommate: (looks pointedly at me)

Me: do you want him broken, bloody, or just crying?

That finally got the point through. Sometimes the threat of violence is the only thing some idiots respond to.

[uglytater]

I once jokingly used the line "Daddy's home" from How I Met Your Mother, and then followed through with explaining to her I was making up a name and phone number... she corrected me with her name and phone number not getting the joke. I didn't call her... I was a little scared of a girl that would respond to Daddy's home.

[Wolfshade]

I've never used a pick up line.
They are just too cheesey.

"If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would you put your sister and I together"

[Wildeybeast]

I've never used a pick up line.
They are just too cheesey.

"If I could re-arrange the alphabet I would you put your sister and I together"

See I think they are funny. I just chuckled at this one. Not funny in an 'I'd ever be caught dead using them' sort of way, more a 'David Brent-do people actually say these things sort of way'. But funny nonetheless.

[Wolfshade]

Well that is it, they are amusing but you wouldn't be using them.

One for the physicists "Would you like to help me hunt for the naked bottom?"

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I heard one from across the bar:
"Is that a mirror in your pocket? I can see myself in your pants."
To which I shouted:
"Oh, you're into cross-dressing are you? I didn't think you were that kinda guy!"

[Psychosplodge]

Yep. Tried that. I genuinely cannot talk to them. Pretty much everything else in life comes easy. Talking to girls is horrendous.

32, and my longest relationship is 5 months...

You know what? you've just made me realise in the last thirteen years I've only spent about 18months lacking female company, and twelve of them I wasn't fit for purpose anyway, the downside is I've never really had the chance to use cheesy chat up lines, I just bounce them of the significant other - who just rolls her eyes at me, or offers a look of pity....

I did once try "you fancy a piece of this"(I was soooooooooooooooooooo drunk :D) at kicking out time during a brief single spell - which failed in a spectacularly mediocre manner essentially just got ignored lol.

So apparently be yourself is actually successful advice lol

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I used a chat-up line once, I couldn't keep a straight face. :D

[Wolfshade]

While playing Settlers of Catan:

" I would like to give you my wood"

"Maybe I'll just give you a sheep for your wood"

[Psychosplodge]

harsh...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

While playing Settlers of Catan:

" I would like to give you my wood"

"Maybe I'll just give you a sheep for your wood"

You've seen Big Bang Theory. :D

[Wolfshade]

I also play Catan, our games nights we have beer pizza and comments like trading wood become far more amusing the drunker/later it becomes

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hah. Gay. :p

[Wolfshade]

Very much so. Happy times indeed.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

By the way... Are you anywhere near the City Centre on Thursday?

[eldargal]

Some chat up lines are funny, like the arrow in the knee one and the sister one. But I still wouldn't date them on principle.:) I will often have a nice chat with them after.

The onl reason I still go clubbing is 'cos my friend like having me there. I'm their 'nuclear deterrent agaisnt involuntary or illadvised pregnancies'.:rolleyes:

[Psychosplodge]

Surely knowing their limits would be an effective alternative? lol

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I can't imagine you in a club. xD
Sorry, but for some reason I can't. :p

[Wolfshade]

I am imagining a 1950's advertising campaign: "Eldargal says 'No!'" :D

[Wolfshade]

I can't imagine you in a club. xD
Sorry, but for some reason I can't. :p

In a club or with a club?

Also, what sort of clubbing? the baby seal kind, or the sort with music, if so what music, as I am sure that you said you preferred to listen to romantic (as in the classical period, not erm Barry White) music

[Psychosplodge]

http://myspace.roflposters.com/images/rofl/myspace/1209476331708.jpg.%5Broflposters.com%5D.myspace.jp g

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Reminded me of The Cleveland Show. xD

[Psychosplodge]

Reminded me of The Cleveland Show. xD
Thats just an abomination to all that is the holiness of tv...

[Wolfshade]

I've heard that but never witnessed it for myself

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

It has a few funny moments. I wouldn't consider myself a "fan".

[Wolfshade]

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/alphabet.png

[Wildeybeast]

I also play Catan, our games nights we have beer pizza and comments like trading wood become far more amusing the drunker/later it becomes

Beer pizza? :eek: That sounds like the most awesome foodstuff ever!

[Necron2.0]

And on the topic of mood killers, here's one from the female side (Wolfshade's post reminded me of this):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs

[eldargal]

Wow it's like watching middle class women summed up in four minutes.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Wow it's like watching middle class women summed up in four minutes.

Wait, let me get my handbag.

[Psychosplodge]

And on the topic of mood killers, here's one from the female side (Wolfshade's post reminded me of this):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs





Wow it's like watching middle class women summed up in four minutes.



I'm now terrified of the SO, thanks...

[Denzark]

Chat up lines have always made me cringe (nearly as much as that youtube video - sheeeeeeit how true?)

But I did see in some 'lads mag' some retorts to ladies put-downs that were found in a cosmo type magazine - this made oi laff:

Bloke: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Lady: Unfertilised.
Bloke: Good I'll come in your face then.


Bloke: Would you like to dance?
Lady: No, I'd rather die.
Bloke: I'm sorry, I think you misheard me. I said your arse looks fat in that dress.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Bloke: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Lady: Unfertilised.
Bloke: Good I'll come in your face then.


Bloke: Would you like to dance?
Lady: No, I'd rather die.
Bloke: I'm sorry, I think you misheard me. I said your arse looks fat in that dress.

Dude! That's harsh! xD

[Psychosplodge]

That's how'd you get a demonstration of the verb form of glass...

[DrLove42]

But to be fair...you look at 75-80% of the women in a club with so much fakery I wouldn't go near them with a barge pole.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I use barge poles to knock them in the river. :p

[Wolfshade]

Dude! That's harsh! xD

But ashamedly made me chuckle

[Wolfshade]

But to be fair...you look at 75-80% of the women in a club with so much fakery I wouldn't go near them with a barge pole.

That is why God invented "Snog Marry, Avoid" :D

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

But ashamedly made me chuckle

Same here. :D

[Psychosplodge]

But to be fair...you look at 75-80% of the women in a club with so much fakery I wouldn't go near them with a barge pole.



I certainly wouldn't want to put parts of me into something that shade of orange...

[DrLove42]

That is why God invented "Snog Marry, Avoid" :D

That show scares the hell out of me. What some people think looks good is wrong.

I follow Charlie Brooker on Twitter. His comments about Geordie Shore last night made me laugh. At one point he described one of them as "vinyl sex doll version of Ricky Gervais"

[Wolfshade]

It's car crash TV I can't help but watch I know I shouldn't

[eldargal]

I've told all my friends that if they get a fake tan or breast enlargement for anything other than breast reconstruction following cancer surgery I will kill them. Bleached hair will be tolerated but glared at it and be the subject of many snarky comments.

Some orange fashionista was hitting on one of my brothers once, he said "Madam, if I wanted to have sex with an orange I'd be in the grocery store with my trousers around my ankles, not out clubbing".

Prat: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
EG: "Sod off or I'll cut your genitals off and feed them to my bullfrog"
Prat "Uhh... do you mean bulldog?"
EG: "No"
Prat: "Uhh..."

Prat #2: "What ya thinkin about, hottie?"
EG: "How much more efficient it is to remove a mans heart through a lateral incision along the left side of the abdomen and reaching up and under the ribcage as opposed to going through the ribcage with bolt cutters"
Prat #2: Exits stage left.

[DrLove42]

You're a scary lady you know that?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Pahahahaha!

[eldargal]

Yes I do.:cool:

I'm a big fan of the Tarkin doctrine, rule through fear.

[Psychosplodge]

Prat #2: "What ya thinkin about, hottie?"
EG: "How much more efficient it is to remove a mans heart through a lateral incision along the left side of the abdomen and reaching up and under the ribcage as opposed to going through the ribcage with bolt cutters"
Prat #2: Exits stage left.

Sounds more like a challenge lmao

[Wolfshade]

I'm feeling quite excited

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Yes I do.:cool:

I'm a big fan of the Tarkin doctrine, rule through fear.

You don't scare me. :D

[Wolfshade]

http://cdn.instanttrap.com/trap.jpg

[Psychosplodge]

It's always a trap...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I love traps! :D

[Wolfshade]

I love traps! :D

It's not that sort of trap

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

O_O

[SotonShades]

I've told all my friends that if they get a fake tan or breast enlargement for anything other than breast reconstruction following cancer surgery I will kill them. Bleached hair will be tolerated but glared at it and be the subject of many snarky comments.





Prat #2: "What ya thinkin about, hottie?"
EG: "How much more efficient it is to remove a mans heart through a lateral incision along the left side of the abdomen and reaching up and under the ribcage as opposed to going through the ribcage with bolt cutters"
Prat #2: Exits stage left.

I think I'm in love...


Just kidding EG. Just a lonely lonely guy... :(

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

And now I feel sad, Soton needs hugs again!

[SotonShades]

Send beers. That will do :)

[SotonShades]

Or more ork models... I always need more Orks. I'm down to my last 2 boxes as it is!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I don't has Orks, I gave them to my Geordie. :(
I'll give you beer. :D

[Wolfshade]

And now I feel sad, Soton needs hugs again!

Isn't this how the madness began?

[Psychosplodge]

Pretty much, but not here.

I like the suggestion beer is an acceptable replacement for hugs...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hahahah!
This is how it all began, so really... Soton is to blame for the spam!

[Psychosplodge]

What spam?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Well... I got over 1600 posts in nearly 2 months, and that's mostly talking to you guys. :p

[Wolfshade]

I like to think of it as you became awesome ;)

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Well, I am legen -wait for it........!

-DARY!

[Wolfshade]

You are legen (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Legen)?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Yep, and proud of it!

[Wolfshade]

Awesome

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm going to f*ck you with a rake.

Worst (best?) poem ever.

[Wolfshade]

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm going to fudgecakeyou with a rake.

Worst (best?) poem ever.

Fixed :D

Roses nasted nicer before they were made with soya milk

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Fixed :D

Roses tasted nicer before they were made with soya milk

I fix! :D

[Wolfshade]

I fix! :D

You Maniacs! You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hahahahaha! Now imagine that in a Norwegian accent (www.youtube.com/watch?v=18YLzyK-Kbs).

I'm not sure which of their vids it is, but one of them tries fixing a helicopter that's crashed sideways on BF3.

*starts repairing, the helicopter lifts up*
I fix!
*heli crashes again*
I no fix!
*heli finally takes off properly*
I FIX!

[Wolfshade]

youtube no longer works here :(
So no more GW vides either

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

D'awwwwwh!
Look it up when you can.

[Wolfshade]

Will do.
Very frustrating as we haben't had a change notice

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I can't wait to move into the new place.

[Wolfshade]

Got a date for that yet?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Still awaiting my credit check results.

[Wolfshade]

Yay!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Then Tizzy and the Richmeister shall be Salopians! *raises a sword into the air*

[Wolfshade]

Had to look up Salopians :(

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Shrewsbury = Salop
Shrewsbury inhabitants = Salopians

We made a Chapter for the store, the Salopian Blades, they're boss.

[Psychosplodge]

Colours?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Blue and Yellow, the heraldic colours of Shrewsbury.

[Psychosplodge]

interesting...pics?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Not on me, I'll get some though.

[Wolfshade]

With some nifty free hand shoulder pads to reflect the heraldic devices

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Brian isn't that good a painter. :p
I'll paint one up though, I'm good.

[Mr Mystery]

Well, I woke up this morning, and immediately crashed into a massive wall of ennui.

Somehow muddled through work, but I keep thinking of the future. Monday and it's interview for new job cannot come quickly enough.

If this all pans out (and so far no reason it shouldn't) I'll be upping sticks from Tunbridge Wells, up to That London once I pass probation. I'm going to miss my friends, but I won't be a million miles away, and to stay here, my rent and travel would swallow up a shocking £825 of my wages, leaving precious little to show from the £10,000 pay rise I'll be getting.

Plus, even a goon like me should be able to pull in London!

[SotonShades]

So what will your chat up lines be, Mr Mystery? (see how I pulled it back on topic there?)

P.s. I refuse to be responsible for the madness TDA. it is entirely the fault of you three. At worst I was a catalyst...

[Mr Mystery]

Yeah. Kind of posted that in the wrong thread. Still.

Chat up lines? Not a clue. When they work, I've been drunk and thus unable to being to bring to mind what worked!

[Psychosplodge]

P.s. I refuse to be responsible for the madness TDA. it is entirely the fault of you three. At worst I was a catalyst...

:eek: It's all lies....

[Wolfshade]

"Would you like to see my squats?"

[SotonShades]

As I'm going to the midnight release of 6th at my FLGS, I'll still be in town around kicking out time for most of the clubs. Drunk girls, sober Shades... Might see if I can test my luck (after having played in a tournament up til midnight, I'm guessing it will be less that stellar lol.)

I mentioned this to DrLove. This was the resulting conversation;


DrLove says
what to do...

Shades says
well you can do your fiance... for me it's a little more tricky
then again I'll be stone cold sober at kicking out time and the clubs tonights, so fingers crossed...

DrLove says
bit hard when i'm at work
lol
but you will be carrying warhammer stuff
also getting laid tonight means no midnight launch

Shades says
after midnight launch....
also, I can dump my stuff in the car and go back out
also, it'd be interesting to really test the girls who say they like geeks when they really mean they like hipsters in big frams glasses

DrLove says
lol
i'm so geeky i carry my own dice baby

Shades says
got everything from the standard D6 to spherical D6's to a completely irregular but truely fair D6... even D10s and D100s... cus that's how I roll
or cast, more correclty

DrLove says
hhhhmmmm
sure thats going in the "worst chat up line"

Shades says
yep

I think I need to get out more.

Well, with 'normal' people...

[Psychosplodge]

Normal people are boring...

[Wolfshade]

Inspired by Eldargal and Defenestratus


Maybe you can help me with my flaccid pulsar (http://www.lounge.belloflostsouls.net/showpost.php?p=211367&postcount=10)?

[Col.Gravis]

Inspired by Eldargal and Defenestratus

:eek:

No wonder the Eldar are going extinct. You'd never see a Warhounds Blast Gun with a problem like that!

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Jesus! I laughed for 5 mins at "flaccid pulsar". :D

[DrLove42]

Theres a whole world of bad 40k chatup lines out there

Baby, how about we roll for Penetration?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

"I rolled immobilised.... Uh oh"

[eldargal]

"Hey baby, nice double D-Cannon Support Battery"

[Mr Mystery]

"Wanna summon my Great Unclean One?"

[SotonShades]

Hope you gobble like a Tyranid

[Wildeybeast]

'You better have a storm shield because my power sword is unsheathed tonight.'
'How would you like to become one with the Greater Good?'
'I'd love to explore your Eye of Terror.'

[DrLove42]

I promise, i've got no problems with rapid fire

[Necron2.0]

"They don't call me the Harbinger of Destruction for nothing. One blast from my lance will leave you screamin' (or so I'm told) and I've got 'Ever Living' so I'm good to go all NIGHT."

[Wolfshade]

"Don't worry I'm fearless"

[Uncle Nutsy]

wanna polish my one eyed power sword?

[Skeith154]

hmm throw in a fantasy one perhaps. "hey baby, wanna see my star dragon?"

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

"My lance gives me +3 strength on the charge" :D

[eldargal]

"I've got a one in six chance of Wrecking that chick'

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Do the women have no Warhammer-based chat-up lines?

[Psychosplodge]

Do the women have no Warhammer-based chat-up lines?

the one below could be used by a woman...
only the phallus ones wouldn't really work...



"I've got a one in six chance of Wrecking that chick'

[Wolfshade]

"Good job I have move through cover"

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Oh phallus.

[eldargal]

"I have AV14 in the front but no access point in rear"

"Want to hit me with some bioplasma?"

"You be a Shining Spear, I'll be a Howling Banshee"

"Oh. Your father must be a squat"

Do the women have no Warhammer-based chat-up lines?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Pahahahahaha! Nice.

I feel properly chatted up now. xD

[Psychosplodge]

http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/demotivational-posters-trouser-snake.jpg

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

The trouser snake shall go where it pleases. :p

[Psychosplodge]

That's how you get locked up...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I obviously don't rape people. xD
You know what I mean!

[Psychosplodge]

Lol I should hope not, seriously though I should have said, thats what gets you dumped...

[Wolfshade]

Doesn't the trouser snake usualy have but one eye?

[Psychosplodge]

How many can you see?

[Necron2.0]

"You be a Shining Spear, I'll be a Howling Banshee"

Now, see, for me this puts the whole activity on equal footing between mutually consenting adults and adds the spice of a challenge ("can you be a Shining Spear?")... so that one would work. :D

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Now, see, for me this puts the whole activity on equal footing between mutually consenting adults and adds the spice of a challenge ("can you be a Shining Spear?")... so that one would work. :D

It's also full of Eldar fanfic....
Seriously eldargal, xenophilia.

[Psychosplodge]

But do eldar even work like that? O_o

[Necron2.0]

It's also full of Eldar fanfic....
Seriously eldargal, xenophilia.

Hmmm. But I play Necrons. Does that make me a Necro .... :eek:.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Nope, they are still a Xenos race.

Have you ever implied that you want to perform intercourse with a Necron?

[Necron2.0]

No ... but now that you mention it .... :D

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/184/1/6/6a00d83451615469e200e54f18552a8834_800wi_by_necron 2_0-d55s89t.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Stj4fKMkesU

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I cannot see picture... :(

[Psychosplodge]

Just no....

far too plastic...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I can't wait to get the internet when I move out... Then I can finally see pictures and youtube links...

[Necron2.0]

Just no....

far too plastic...

That could describe a lot of women I've met. None that I'd be interested in, mind you, but still ....

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I can see the picture now, and now I wish I couldn't. :D

[Psychosplodge]

That could describe a lot of women I've met. None that I'd be interested in, mind you, but still ....


I can agree with that completely...

[eldargal]

I don't have a laser lance...

Now, see, for me this puts the whole activity on equal footing between mutually consenting adults and adds the spice of a challenge ("can you be a Shining Spear?")... so that one would work. :D



That's a very unattractive robo-ho, why can't they make one look like EDI?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

You're a technophile as well? xD

EDIT: That also gives the phrase "I love lamp" a whole new meaning!

[eldargal]

If only we could get robo alien girls...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

So you want a Female Geth? Sounds like a party!

In other news, I am very bored at work. :/

[Psychosplodge]

bet I'm more bored

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I guess it's time for a "Bored-Off" ?

[Psychosplodge]

You start, I can't be arsed to...


If only we could get robo alien girls...

Also the last thing I want near me is anything with mechanical parts or tentacles...

[Wolfshade]

I'm not board, this is a board
http://toyscouter.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Wooden-Chess-Set.jpg

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I don't know how to start a bored-off.

[Psychosplodge]

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

It just gave me the finger, how rude!

[Psychosplodge]

Then you're doing it wrong...

[eldargal]

Tentacles make me uncomfortable, don't want those hanging around me either. Especially Japanese tentacles.

Not Geth either, not pretty enough. I forget if I mentioned it inthe MAss Effect thread, but a few weeks before Mass Effect 3 was released I was talking about it to my best friend while we were out at a club. Some girl must have overheard us because she came up and asked us if we wanted to 'Embrace Eternity' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-RBAwV8Upg).:rolleyes: Best chat up line ever, apart from 'I used to have a girlfriend like you, 'til I took an arrow in the knee'.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hahahaha! Nice.

Anything the Japanese do makes me uncomfortable...

[Psychosplodge]

True, japanese tentacles really like sex...

I mean I've seen enough hentai to know where this is going....

That's not what Shepard looks like...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

"Is that a Lascannon in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?"

[eldargal]

"*sob* It's just a laspistol and those spam emails I get offering to help just take my money and don't deliver!"

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hahahaahahaha! Gods damn it! Why do I drink tea and read this forum?! :D

[Psychosplodge]

because you want a new laptop/pc?

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

You guys make me laugh so much. :D

It's work's computer that'll get ruined, not mine. :p

[Psychosplodge]

Yes, but would they replace it? lol

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Doubt it, it's only the screen that'd get ruined anyway.

Hah "get ruined". I just had many dirty thoughts.

[SotonShades]

Doubt it, it's only the screen that'd get ruined anyway.

Hah "get ruined". I just had many dirty thoughts.

Tut tut boy, you are supposed to be working, not having dirty thoughts :p

"I may only be a Weirdboy, but I can make you WAAAGH! all night"

[SotonShades]

"Fortunately for you, this'uns not red"

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I always have dirty thoughts, I'm the friend who makes innuendos out of whatever you say. :D

Also, nice Orkgasm. :p

[Psychosplodge]

I don't know, an orkasm might give you terrible fungal growth...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Always use protection!

[Psychosplodge]

It might not be enough, like for example squig-lice...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Thank the gods that Orks have no reproductive system...

[Necron2.0]

I don't have a laser lance...

one would assume the line would be given by someone without the lance to someone with a lance (in some form or other). It wouldn't make sense any other way.

[Wildeybeast]

I'm not board, this is a board
http://toyscouter.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Wooden-Chess-Set.jpg

How do I get one of these jobs where you sit around all day doing nothing but posting on here? ;)

[Wolfshade]

Easy :)

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiling.png

[Necron2.0]

Easy :)

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiling.png

Amen and second that. This is EXACTLY why I spend so much time on here.

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Maybe one day you'll be as awesome as us Wildey, then you can have a similar job. :p

[Psychosplodge]

FFS WHY AREN'T THE QUOTE BUTTONS WORKING??!!


How do I get one of these jobs where you sit around all day doing nothing but posting on here?


http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/compiling.png


Amen and second that. This is EXACTLY why I spend so much time on here.

^^pretty much, same theory, different details...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

FFS WHY AREN'T THE QUOTE BUTTONS WORKING??!!
^^pretty much, same theory, different details...

Whatever do you mean chap?

[Psychosplodge]

I press quote/multiquote and it doesn't put it in the reply box :confused:

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

The Omnissiah hates you.

[Psychosplodge]

But I make the correct sacrifices everyday,

My adblock has also failed since it's last update yesterday...¬_¬

[Wolfshade]

^^pretty much, same theory, different details...
Yeah, mine are big queries on the largest database of its kind in the world!

[Psychosplodge]

I do an hours job in ten mins and toss the other 50 mins off lol, plus there's a lot of re-booting...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

But I make the correct sacrifices everyday,

My adblock has also failed since it's last update yesterday...¬_¬

My apologies, Servitor 13 is undergoing maintenance.

[Psychosplodge]

pfft so it's your fault, I should have known...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

It's always my fault. :D

[Psychosplodge]

At least you admit it...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I am the trickster, of course it's my fault. :p

[Wolfshade]

Wasn't the tricker a space wolf, and I know how you feel about them, Lucas

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Lukas the Trickster, based on Loki the Trickster.

Me like Norse mythology, it's just the Space Wolves who are c*nts.

[Wolfshade]

Lukas the Trickster, based on Loki the Trickster.

I like Norse mythology; it's just the Space Wolves who are fudgecakes.
Fixed, btw you're welcome :D

I quite like the space wolves on the one had I would paint them with all firey red hair and beards down to their ankles, on the other I can' paint flesh so they would all be helmeted.

Here is a question, if a Space Wolf with a huge beard wears a helmet what does he do with the beard? There can't be enough room in the helmet to fit it in.

[Psychosplodge]

Beard vents...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Beard vents are always the answer.

[Wolfshade]

Wow!
I would love to see a beard vent modelled.
I've also just been told to put my ball away, it was flashing people at work

[Psychosplodge]

It's not really shorts weather...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Hahahaha!

Know the worst chat up line?

"Hey baby, I just met you, and I know this is crazy; but here's my number, so call me maybe?"

[Psychosplodge]

Hahahaha!

Know the worst chat up line?

"Hey baby, I just met you, and I know this is crazy; but here's my number, so call me maybe?"
Don't be ridiculous,

but what about handing out cards with just your name and number...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I used to do that, hand out "business cards". :p
Fortunately for my sanity, I became a lot less shallow.

[Psychosplodge]

I used to do that, hand out "business cards". :p
Fortunately for my sanity, I became a lot less shallow.

lol it seems a legen........dary thing to do

fixed the adblock and quote buttons :)

[Wolfshade]

It's not really shorts weather...

It is always shorts weather.

In regards to the business cards give them out to people who hit on you but you don't like the look of with the number of the local pizza place

[Psychosplodge]

It is always shorts weather.

In regards to the business cards give them out to people who hit on you but you don't like the look of with the number of the local pizza place
Are you part geordie? O_o

Brilliant plan...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

fixed the adblock and quote buttons :)

I fix! :D


lol it seems a legen........dary thing to do

What does?

[Psychosplodge]

The handing out of numbered cards, it seems very barney

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Bingo! :D

Except I did it before I watched HIMYM.

[Psychosplodge]

Lol, I wish I hadn't missed half this series...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

What do you watch it on?

[Psychosplodge]

E4, but i missed a few so stopped, I'll have to get the dvd or blu-ray at some point

[Psychosplodge]

Tentacles make me uncomfortable, don't want those hanging around me either. Especially Japanese tentacles.
.






Also the last thing I want near me is anything with mechanical parts or tentacles...

http://chzfandom.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/fanart-cosplay-ive-seen-enough-steampunk.jpg

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Ah, fair enough. Same here.
Good series so far.

[Wolfshade]

Are you part geordie? O_o
Heavens no!
Not that there is anything wrong with being one of those I would imagine.
I cycle so I nearly always wear shorts for my commute

[Psychosplodge]

lols

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

One of my best friends is a Geordie.

[Wolfshade]

One of my best friends is a Geordie.

I'm sorry?

One of the chaps in my halls of residence said things like "Up the tooooon" and "Why I man" he was from Sunderland.
Apparently they get narky when you confuse the two as their accents are *totally* different

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

They really, really do. Newcastle hates Sunderland, and vice versa.
Ian's a cool guy.


By the way Wolf, I don't even know your name. :p

[Psychosplodge]

It's clearly Wolf lol

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

He's not from Starfox. xD

[Psychosplodge]

He could be, this IS the internet...

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

I hope not, I hate furries.

[SotonShades]

He could be, this IS the internet...


Oh no my friend, BoLS is a much scarier place...

[Psychosplodge]

I hope not, I hate furries.

But they just want their belly rubbing, they're so fun at anime cons...


Oh no my friend, BoLS is a much scarier place...

true...

[Wolfshade]

One of my aquintances has just come out as a furry...

If I were to tell you my name you would have power over me


"If knowledge is power, then to be unknown is to be unconquerable"

[Tzeentch's Dark Agent]

Invictus deus.

[Psychosplodge]

I play tf2 on one of their servers, they're hilarious, just don't look at the tags on the walls too closely...