You VS your army?

[themasterchamp]

Long time lurker, amidst all the flame wars and powerlisting and fluff wankery there is; at the heart of this community, a group of like minded individuals who love our hobby. With that in mind I thought it might be fun to bring a discussion that went on in my gaming group to these forums.
First a little back story: I was unpacking my models the other day and placed my entire army on a shelf I have never used, overlooking my bed(this is not going where you fear, I promise). As I lay in bed that night, I ended up starring at my army: A complete 1500 point vanilla SM army(librarian,tacs,scouts,devs,***. marines..etc)). My mind wandered to my marines becoming real and sentient while maintaining their scale, how much trouble would I be in when they decided to engage me? What would their weapons do to me? What are my stats like? Even fluff wise, could an assortment of tacs and devs and assorted other things take down what is essentially an emperor class titan cross bio titan? So after a weird nights sleep, and a day of dreaming, I sat down with my gaming group for a little tiny men action and the discussion quickly turned to whos army would be scariest for us(humans) to fight if they became alive? So what are the lounges thoughts on this? How hard would we be to bring down? How screwed are you against your amy?(got a full battle company? uhhh oh) What weapons are you most afraid of?(got a baneblade in your collection?) This is just a fun discussion we had and i was interested in your thoughts.

Regards.

[Defenestratus]

Long time lurker, amidst all the flame wars and powerlisting and fluff wankery there is; at the heart of this community, a group of like minded individuals who love our hobby. With that in mind I thought it might be fun to bring a discussion that went on in my gaming group to these forums.
First a little back story: I was unpacking my models the other day and placed my entire army on a shelf I have never used, overlooking my bed(this is not going where you fear, I promise). As I lay in bed that night, I ended up starring at my army: A complete 1500 point vanilla SM army(librarian,tacs,scouts,devs,***. marines..etc)). My mind wandered to my marines becoming real and sentient while maintaining their scale, how much trouble would I be in when they decided to engage me? What would their weapons do to me? What are my stats like? Even fluff wise, could an assortment of tacs and devs and assorted other things take down what is essentially an emperor class titan cross bio titan? So after a weird nights sleep, and a day of dreaming, I sat down with my gaming group for a little tiny men action and the discussion quickly turned to whos army would be scariest for us(humans) to fight if they became alive? So what are the lounges thoughts on this? How hard would we be to bring down? How screwed are you against your amy?(got a full battle company? uhhh oh) What weapons are you most afraid of?(got a baneblade in your collection?) This is just a fun discussion we had and i was interested in your thoughts.

Regards.

....

the dangers of medicinal marijuana.

[GrenAcid]

....

the dangers of medicinal marijuana.

There is no danger.......only hungry Gods out there.

[themasterchamp]

This was in no way drug induced, but I can see how it might seem like that...
The thing I was most worried about was my Landraiders godhammers, if they can bore through what to me would be about a half inch of ceramite then surely they would mess me up? The librarians force wep? I doubt it would kill me outright, but it might make me feel a little worse for wear. I worry that tellion would be annoying to find in my room, and he would keep shooting me in the eyes(admittedly my eyes are as big as him, but this still might put me off a little)

[Denzark]

I reckon I would have most of them in pieces and flushed down the toilet in less time than it would take for them to do me critical damage.

Good Looney way to intoduce yourself to the forum, awesome coining of the term 'fluffwankery'.

[Calgar33]

Ha someone's read Indian in the cupboard one to many times. I'm pretty sure I would be most afraid of my 'Nids. Something about a bug the size of a Trygon slithering around my apartment just irks me.

[Deadlift]

Well I think I could employ my furioso with blood talons for an awesome back scratch.

However if my nurgle daemon prince came alive I would be a bit worried and reaching for the bleach in a hurry :)

[Rissan4ever]

Stephen King wrote a short story along these lines called Battleground. It's in his Night Shift compilation, and it's one of the better stories in that book. You should check it out.

Personally, I don't think I'd do well. I have too many Leman Russes and Hellhounds. Maybe I'd be able to handle those if I weren't constantly being buzzed by my Valkyrie. I don't even want to think about what my infantry's autocannons and missile launchers would do to my ankles. Ouch!

[Lockark]

I can see it now. "PAINT UUSSSSSSSS! PPAAAAIIIINNNNNTTTTT US!"

[Wolf Brother Hellstrom]

yeah i would equate a vindicator/defiler/demolisher to a shot gun and take a leg or foot off.

plus bolters would be like bb's fired from a gun multiplied by like a 1000 cause they are automatic.

I imagine even lasguns to the face would leave 3rd degree burns and not feel too good lol.

not too mention power weapons slicing through your skin like butter making 1-2 inches gashes.

and they're are also psychic powers( size matters not. just me by my size, do you?)

Space wolves constantly take on giant krakens which could be are size so.....

I dont think it would be pretty

[Mystery.Shadow]

Ow! Ow! Ow! Dang Tyranids! You may laugh at their small size, but if you've ever been bit/stung by any insect you know where this may be going.

Now something the size of a Trygon or Carnifex? That's downright scary.

What about a Harridan, a Hierodule or Hierophant?! Those may hurt. -And I have five Hierodules, two Hierophants and a Harridan!!

[Necron2.0]

I can see it now. "PAINT UUSSSSSSSS! PPAAAAIIIINNNNNTTTTT US!"

You dream that your bed is surrounded by snakes, who spit and hiss at you all night. When you awake in the morning, you find you've been painted entirely grey, even down to your nether regions. On your nightstand is an unpainted daemonette, leaning up against your airbrush, hand on hip and tapping her foot anxiously. As your eyes focus, she leans forward and says, “So, now let us see how well you get through YOUR day – how much respect YOU get from the wretched masses. Good luck on that job interview, by the way.”

[TheRise]

... "not drug induced" thats the drugs talking...
Half of mine aren't built... a nice wittle orky head using its tongue to walk and attack me....

[Thornblood]

This is why I keep my orks in a well padded shoebox. The burnas will simply ignite the loo-roll padding and burn them all to death :)

The marines in the glass cabinet though....

Heh.. Inquisitor figures might side with me because they are seen as big people too?

[UltramarineFan]

So long as the Imperial armies I have see my as the Emperor and take on my orks and chaos then I'm fine.. if not then the Imperials will still fight the orks and chaos, probably win and then I need to hide, I do NOT want to know what the lascannons would do!

[Wildeybeast]

I'm fine, my armies are Tau, Tyranids and Marines. They'd all fight each other rather than me due to their inherent suspicion/hatred of each other and I'd literally sweep up the remains. Plus there is also the issue that half of them are metal so they'd just fall over and break every time they moved :D

[scadugenga]

Definitely Indian in the Cupboard--or perhaps Night at the Museum.

There would be zero worries.

Why?

Because .45 ACP will always trump 28mm plastic.

Always.

[daboarder]

This was in no way drug induced, but I can see how it might seem like that...
The thing I was most worried about was my Landraiders godhammers, if they can bore through what to me would be about a half inch of ceramite then surely they would mess me up?

It's called "vaporization"

Modern bombs can do it, basically they impart enough energy into a system ie: your body, to literally rip apart the chemical bonds leaving you as a collection of molecular fragments and ions. Similar to what a Mass spectrometer does......

[themasterchamp]

Definitely Indian in the Cupboard--or perhaps Night at the Museum.

There would be zero worries.

Why?

Because .45 ACP will always trump 28mm plastic.

Always.

But how good are you at hitting a moving inch across target? now how about a hundred of them? at once? Plus their armour becomes real, im not saying they are just sentient plastic im saying they are real life space marines or eldar or whatever, just tiny.

My housemate is super boned as his eldar is heavy on warp spiders, and we have decided they would prove to be quite a difficult opponent to fight. Their mono-filament spewing guns would gash you and with their teleportation they could easily get around your body.

While im sure I could throw my land raider a fair distance and probably damage it quite heavily im just not sure humans would have the strength needed to pull off its guns.

[themasterchamp]

It's called "vaporization"

Modern bombs can do it, basically they impart enough energy into a system ie: your body, to literally rip apart the chemical bonds leaving you as a collection of molecular fragments and ions. Similar to what a Mass spectrometer does......

AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Still look at your Missile launchers if you have any, internal diameter seems pretty close to a .22, while nowhere near the velocity the rounds are also packed with explosives. Im scared of my ML spam devs.

[fade_74]

I would be really scared of my Deathstrike missle launcher, unlimited range and all. That sucker could get you anywhere at any time....

[eldargal]

I'd be pretty miffed if my 60k of Eldar came alive, I'd imagine even a 28mm scale D-Cannon would do some nasty damage to a lot of you. Hopefully they would remember all the time and attention lavished on them over the years and realise I'm not their enemy.:rolleyes:

[SotonShades]

I'm not too scared of my orks. Although I've got enough koptas to be really annoying, im reasonably confident that I have more than enough IG flyers to take care of them. On the otherhand my armoured battlegroup has more than enough battlecannons and demolisher cannons to be quite scary. Equally, I've got enough predators of various stripes for my marines and devastators with pretty much every weapon option that I'd end up with at least a good few burns. Maybe even a few chunks missing from my flesh.

My Warlord though... well he is about half my height and has multiple weapons with a blast radius greater than that of my waist... or alternatively a sword that is almost as long as my arm. I'm really not certain I could take him in a straight fight at any distance. I guess I'm going to be having nightmares now :eek:

On the otherhand, almost all of them are stored in locked boxes and are often in parts (turrets stored separate from hulls, magnatised weapon options... my titan even comes apart at the hips for transport ease) so I guess I'd have to wait to see if they could find their right parts. Or maybe the Meks/Techmarines would help fix them together :P

[Slug]

I've always thought it would be a bit fun if you could bring your army to life. I think guard would be pretty safe as you could just scare them into thinking your the emperor, but still I wouldn't want a russ shooting at me, it would be like an explosive .22, still everything has such short range I could just climb ladder and then worry about the valkiery. Though then just getting two armies in a room and letting them battle it out would be pretty fun.

Still I think that most things would be pretty scary, sure infantry might not hurt much at all, but any tanks or such would start doing some damage, I think it would really depend on how much warning you got.

If it did happen though I would definitely get every model that knew something about tech and learn as much as possible. Than I would get an army of titans and take over the world.

Still if it did happen I don't think there would be too much worry as nothing would quite be clear as to what the rules actually mean. If I stomp on a mini forest full of IG do they still get a 4+?

But think of the price hike we would all face then.

[Fellend]

And this is why I keep my army at my friends house. I don't want some 100 marines with assorted vehicles tearing me apart piece by piece, then again, it's fairly easy to outrange anything but lascannons.

[scadugenga]

But how good are you at hitting a moving inch across target? now how about a hundred of them? at once? Plus their armour becomes real, im not saying they are just sentient plastic im saying they are real life space marines or eldar or whatever, just tiny.

My housemate is super boned as his eldar is heavy on warp spiders, and we have decided they would prove to be quite a difficult opponent to fight. Their mono-filament spewing guns would gash you and with their teleportation they could easily get around your body.

While im sure I could throw my land raider a fair distance and probably damage it quite heavily im just not sure humans would have the strength needed to pull off its guns.

Everything moves at a max of what, 24" and that's for fast vehicles, son. (cue Sam Elliot squint & wry grin)

Not very difficult to hit something moving 6" - 12" a turn. :rolleyes:

[WereWolf_nr]

You dream that your bed is surrounded by snakes, who spit and hiss at you all night. When you awake in the morning, you find you've been painted entirely grey, even down to your nether regions. On your nightstand is an unpainted daemonette, leaning up against your airbrush, hand on hip and tapping her foot anxiously. As your eyes focus, she leans forward and says, “So, now let us see how well you get through YOUR day – how much respect YOU get from the wretched masses. Good luck on that job interview, by the way.”



Where is the "Like" button?

[Occam]

I play Necrons. Feel free to insert your own joke here.


------------------------

Times up!
According to my background, I'd be super scared. They could teleport anywhere without notice. But the Nightbringer would be the scariest. Flying around, slashing stuff in half, and if he exploded--geez, the ka-boom wasn't bad enough, I'd have a flying, malevolent nebula chasing my butt around town!

[Necron2.0]

Where is the "Like" button?

Thanks. By the way, doesn't your avatar make you a registered "hex" offender? ;)

[shadosun]

The second I realized my army was coming alive I would get out of my house immediately. My largest army is my nids, and I don't want to know how fast the hive tyrant could slice me apart. That and all the gants running around would be very creepy as my army is a horde one.

Now the solution to winning would be simple though, I would just have to buy some of those "bombs" used by pest control companies and fumigate my house and bam dead bugs within the day. My only worry is if the hive mind called everyone else's nids and they started to attack my house, that would get old really fast.

[Occam]

The second I realized my army was coming alive I would get out of my house immediately. My largest army is my nids, and I don't want to know how fast the hive tyrant could slice me apart. That and all the gants running around would be very creepy as my army is a horde one.

Now the solution to winning would be simple though, I would just have to buy some of those "bombs" used by pest control companies and fumigate my house and bam dead bugs within the day. My only worry is if the hive mind called everyone else's nids and they started to attack my house, that would get old really fast.

Sir, this comment is made out of win. I tip my hat to you.

[Renegade]

I play Mechanised Guard and Blacktide BT... My IG are only half finished, and are missing heads, while my BT are done. Knowing what BT can do rules wise makes me not want to be around if they became alive...

What happens with the 'Venerable Dreads'? Do you have to try hitting it again if it ignores the first result?

[Drunkencorgimaster]

It may have already happened. I've grown kind of bloated, distended, and disgusting over time. Maybe my Nightlord sorcerer has been slowly turning me into a Chaos Spawn. The difference in size explains why it has taken him several years.