MaltonNecromancer
05-12-2011, 12:06 PM
A "Sports"-Inspired Battle Mission for 40K.
__________________
Far away, deep in the distant mists of the Warhammer 40,000 universe, there exist certain planets with strange warp gates. No-one knows where they came from, but there they are nonetheless. Suspciously close to these mystical gates are gargantuan spiked balls made of some seemingly impervious metal - it resists all possible attempts at destruction; indeed, seemingly nothing short of a black hole can destroy it. These balls are called Grinders for some unknown reason; presumably the ancients of these planets played Privateer Press' excellent boardgame "Grind", and decided that it would be pretty sweet if they could play the real life version on their world. Or something.
Great armies (because this is 40K, and heaven forfend some small, more realistically sized army should ever be fielded when a Great one will do) gather on these planets to try and place the Grinders into the mysterious warp gates. It is no surprise that they do so, for the army which manages to place a Grinder in one of the two mystical gates is charged with powers beyond the hyperbole of the usual tripe written by hack writers of fantasy war porn. Indeed, it is said that these armies go on to be invincible, laying waste to systems, decimating all of those before them, and securing the infinite supplies of rice pudding so beloved of burly future warriors bereft of a sense of irony.
The Imperium is deeply interested in these great relics, because hey, it's the Imperium - being interested in ancient stuff is kind of what they do. Most of them want to burn it for being heresy, but the purifying kiss of flame does little to impress the implacable dark balls; thus most Imperial generals quickly decide to send in overweening firepower to deal with the situation, and before you know it, another portion of the galaxy consumed by pointless war over weird stuff no-one really understands or cares about.
The Eldar whisper things about the Grinders; about how they seem surprisingly arbitrary in nature, and how it's almost like the writings of some bored wargamer trying to inject a little ironic silliness into his wargame. The oldest Farseer just smiles when she hears such errant nonsense, and goes back to tending her gardens, safe in the knowledge that her husband (you know, the one without the pointy ears but with the surprisingly accurate Exitus rifle) can deal as easily with those of her peers who have obviously Gone Quite Mad as he did with all those furious fanboys who went mental over the idea that an Imperial assassin could possibly fall in love with a Farseer like her. One with really, really great hair. And nice clothes. Who was obviously quite pretty. And it's not like he wasn't good looking; she really liked how the Vindicare temple had given his those chiselled muscles and perfect, perfect dexterity with the hands that could...
Yup. He was pretty hot alright. Why wouldn't she fall for him?
Anyway.
Needless to say, this long and rambling introduction is wearing a little thin, and thus, we present to you for your edification...
Well...
This.
__________________
You will need:
- 2 Armies.
- 1 Grinder; see Privateer Press for one of these:
http://www.boostep.com/thumbnails/images/grinder.jpg.thumb_popupprod_info_975x1000_a0d2dee2 0c14a5b85f16768d02a66577.jpg
- 2 Large Blast Marker sized "goals"
Setup:
- The armies deploy as per Dawn of War setup.
- Each "goal" is set up 3" from either side of the owning player's corner.
- The Grinder is deployed dead in the middle of the board.
Play:
- Game is played exactly as a regular game of 40K. There are no objectives, and no kill points.
Grinder rules:
- The Grinder is, to all intents and purposes, indestructible; only a Vortex Grenade can remove it from play - nothing else. If a Vortex Grenade does remove the Grinder from play, the game ends in an instant draw.
- The Grinder never moves on it's own.
- The Grinder can be moved by weapons fire. To do so, roll to hit, treating it as a vehicle. It has an Armour Value of 15. It only moves if a Penetrating Hit is scored, in which case it scatters D6" in the direction shown on the arrow. If a "Hit" result is thrown on the scatter dice, the Grinder may be moved D6" in a direction of the shooting player's choosing. The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits.
- If hit by a weapon with a Blast Template, ignore the usual rules for hitting the Grinder with weapons fire. Instead, the Grinder always scatters D3" (a "hit" result moves the Grinder in the direction of the arrow on the "hit" facing).The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits.
- The Grinder follows the rules for Independant Characters; however, it may also attach to units of Walkers or Monstrous Creatures.
- The Grinder confers a 4+ cover save to the unit it is attached to, as long as that unit is made of ten or fewer models.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit, that unit gains the "Slow and Purposeful" rule unless the majority strength of the unit is 4 or above, or at least one member of the squad has a Power Fist equipped.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit, that unit may not shoot or assault while the Grinder is attatched (they're too busy pushing the damn thing!)
- If the Grinder has joined a unit and they are charged, pinned, or hit by a Blast marker, the Grinder instantly leaves that unit and scatters 3D6" in a random direction (a "hit" result moves the Grinder in the direction of the arrow on the "hit" facing). The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit, then in the assault phase that unit may make a "Hoof it!" attack. The Grinder moves 2D6 minus 4" in the direction of the players choice; that player may add one inch to the distance move for every Power Fist in the unit. The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits. If the Grinder moves zero or less inches, the unit which launched the "Hoof it!" attack is hit instead.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit where a model has 2 Power Fists / Klaws, is a Monstrous Creature, or a Walker with 2 identical Dreadnought Close Combat weapons (i.e.: 2 Blood Fists, 2 Nemesis Doom Fists, etc...), then in the assault phase that Walker may use the Grinder to make a single "Kablammo!" attack, picking up the Grinder and blatting whatever it wants to attack with it. The Walker may assault as normal, but strikes at Initiative 1, and has it's Attack characteristic reduced to one. Any hits caused by the Walker are at Str 10, AP1, inflict three wounds rather than one, and add an additional +1 to the vehicle damage chart. After this attack is performed, Walkers are then immobilsed for the rest of the game (as it's leg servos are shot!), though they can still make an "Eat this!" attack next turn if it has both DCCW's. If it was a model with 2 Power Fists, they immediately suffer 2 wounds with no save possible, invulnerable or otherwise, as their bum falls out of their body (this is not a tactic for the faint of heart).
- If the Grinder has joined a unit where a model has 2 Power Fists / Klaws, is a Monstrous Creature, or a Walker with 2 identical Dreadnought Close Combat weapons (i.e.: 2 Blood Fists, 2 Nemesis Doom Fists, etc...), then in the assault phase that Walker may make an "Eat this!" attack as it throws the Grinder into the enemy's formations- The Grinder moves 2D6" in the direction of the players choice, then scatters (this scatter is not modified by BS; a "hit" result moves the Grinder in the direction of the arrow on the "hit" facing), then moves another 2D6" in the direction indicated. The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 10 AP1 hits.
Victory:
- The game is ended when one player gets the Grinder into the Enemy goal.
FAQs:
- Do Lightning Claws or Thunder Hammers counts as Power Fists for the purposes of a "Hoof it!" attack? No. Lightning Claws have too many knives, and Thunder hammers do not offer the control necessary to "Hoof it!"
- How about Nemesis Dreadknight Daemonhammers? They're pretty big! No. Stop it.
__________________
Far away, deep in the distant mists of the Warhammer 40,000 universe, there exist certain planets with strange warp gates. No-one knows where they came from, but there they are nonetheless. Suspciously close to these mystical gates are gargantuan spiked balls made of some seemingly impervious metal - it resists all possible attempts at destruction; indeed, seemingly nothing short of a black hole can destroy it. These balls are called Grinders for some unknown reason; presumably the ancients of these planets played Privateer Press' excellent boardgame "Grind", and decided that it would be pretty sweet if they could play the real life version on their world. Or something.
Great armies (because this is 40K, and heaven forfend some small, more realistically sized army should ever be fielded when a Great one will do) gather on these planets to try and place the Grinders into the mysterious warp gates. It is no surprise that they do so, for the army which manages to place a Grinder in one of the two mystical gates is charged with powers beyond the hyperbole of the usual tripe written by hack writers of fantasy war porn. Indeed, it is said that these armies go on to be invincible, laying waste to systems, decimating all of those before them, and securing the infinite supplies of rice pudding so beloved of burly future warriors bereft of a sense of irony.
The Imperium is deeply interested in these great relics, because hey, it's the Imperium - being interested in ancient stuff is kind of what they do. Most of them want to burn it for being heresy, but the purifying kiss of flame does little to impress the implacable dark balls; thus most Imperial generals quickly decide to send in overweening firepower to deal with the situation, and before you know it, another portion of the galaxy consumed by pointless war over weird stuff no-one really understands or cares about.
The Eldar whisper things about the Grinders; about how they seem surprisingly arbitrary in nature, and how it's almost like the writings of some bored wargamer trying to inject a little ironic silliness into his wargame. The oldest Farseer just smiles when she hears such errant nonsense, and goes back to tending her gardens, safe in the knowledge that her husband (you know, the one without the pointy ears but with the surprisingly accurate Exitus rifle) can deal as easily with those of her peers who have obviously Gone Quite Mad as he did with all those furious fanboys who went mental over the idea that an Imperial assassin could possibly fall in love with a Farseer like her. One with really, really great hair. And nice clothes. Who was obviously quite pretty. And it's not like he wasn't good looking; she really liked how the Vindicare temple had given his those chiselled muscles and perfect, perfect dexterity with the hands that could...
Yup. He was pretty hot alright. Why wouldn't she fall for him?
Anyway.
Needless to say, this long and rambling introduction is wearing a little thin, and thus, we present to you for your edification...
Well...
This.
__________________
You will need:
- 2 Armies.
- 1 Grinder; see Privateer Press for one of these:
http://www.boostep.com/thumbnails/images/grinder.jpg.thumb_popupprod_info_975x1000_a0d2dee2 0c14a5b85f16768d02a66577.jpg
- 2 Large Blast Marker sized "goals"
Setup:
- The armies deploy as per Dawn of War setup.
- Each "goal" is set up 3" from either side of the owning player's corner.
- The Grinder is deployed dead in the middle of the board.
Play:
- Game is played exactly as a regular game of 40K. There are no objectives, and no kill points.
Grinder rules:
- The Grinder is, to all intents and purposes, indestructible; only a Vortex Grenade can remove it from play - nothing else. If a Vortex Grenade does remove the Grinder from play, the game ends in an instant draw.
- The Grinder never moves on it's own.
- The Grinder can be moved by weapons fire. To do so, roll to hit, treating it as a vehicle. It has an Armour Value of 15. It only moves if a Penetrating Hit is scored, in which case it scatters D6" in the direction shown on the arrow. If a "Hit" result is thrown on the scatter dice, the Grinder may be moved D6" in a direction of the shooting player's choosing. The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits.
- If hit by a weapon with a Blast Template, ignore the usual rules for hitting the Grinder with weapons fire. Instead, the Grinder always scatters D3" (a "hit" result moves the Grinder in the direction of the arrow on the "hit" facing).The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits.
- The Grinder follows the rules for Independant Characters; however, it may also attach to units of Walkers or Monstrous Creatures.
- The Grinder confers a 4+ cover save to the unit it is attached to, as long as that unit is made of ten or fewer models.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit, that unit gains the "Slow and Purposeful" rule unless the majority strength of the unit is 4 or above, or at least one member of the squad has a Power Fist equipped.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit, that unit may not shoot or assault while the Grinder is attatched (they're too busy pushing the damn thing!)
- If the Grinder has joined a unit and they are charged, pinned, or hit by a Blast marker, the Grinder instantly leaves that unit and scatters 3D6" in a random direction (a "hit" result moves the Grinder in the direction of the arrow on the "hit" facing). The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit, then in the assault phase that unit may make a "Hoof it!" attack. The Grinder moves 2D6 minus 4" in the direction of the players choice; that player may add one inch to the distance move for every Power Fist in the unit. The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 6 AP3 hits. If the Grinder moves zero or less inches, the unit which launched the "Hoof it!" attack is hit instead.
- If the Grinder has joined a unit where a model has 2 Power Fists / Klaws, is a Monstrous Creature, or a Walker with 2 identical Dreadnought Close Combat weapons (i.e.: 2 Blood Fists, 2 Nemesis Doom Fists, etc...), then in the assault phase that Walker may use the Grinder to make a single "Kablammo!" attack, picking up the Grinder and blatting whatever it wants to attack with it. The Walker may assault as normal, but strikes at Initiative 1, and has it's Attack characteristic reduced to one. Any hits caused by the Walker are at Str 10, AP1, inflict three wounds rather than one, and add an additional +1 to the vehicle damage chart. After this attack is performed, Walkers are then immobilsed for the rest of the game (as it's leg servos are shot!), though they can still make an "Eat this!" attack next turn if it has both DCCW's. If it was a model with 2 Power Fists, they immediately suffer 2 wounds with no save possible, invulnerable or otherwise, as their bum falls out of their body (this is not a tactic for the faint of heart).
- If the Grinder has joined a unit where a model has 2 Power Fists / Klaws, is a Monstrous Creature, or a Walker with 2 identical Dreadnought Close Combat weapons (i.e.: 2 Blood Fists, 2 Nemesis Doom Fists, etc...), then in the assault phase that Walker may make an "Eat this!" attack as it throws the Grinder into the enemy's formations- The Grinder moves 2D6" in the direction of the players choice, then scatters (this scatter is not modified by BS; a "hit" result moves the Grinder in the direction of the arrow on the "hit" facing), then moves another 2D6" in the direction indicated. The Grinder passes in a straight line through units, moving models the minimum distance necessary to move them away. Any unit it moves through takes 2D6 Str 10 AP1 hits.
Victory:
- The game is ended when one player gets the Grinder into the Enemy goal.
FAQs:
- Do Lightning Claws or Thunder Hammers counts as Power Fists for the purposes of a "Hoof it!" attack? No. Lightning Claws have too many knives, and Thunder hammers do not offer the control necessary to "Hoof it!"
- How about Nemesis Dreadknight Daemonhammers? They're pretty big! No. Stop it.