Scenes From A Hat

[Turner]

http://i149.photobucket.com/albums/s78/Turner1279/motorcycles_and_women_1b.jpg

This game's called Scenes from a hat where we pick a random card out of this hat right here, where all of you have written down your submissions, annnnd we just make up what it says on the card for the game's sake.


Today's topic!
Warhammer 40k themed T-shirts...






"I traveled to the Eye Of Terror and all I got was this lousy T-shirt."

[gwensdad]

"Fenris is for Lovers"

"Cadia-a kid's paradise!"

(giant barcode that's actually a very funny joke, but only to Mechanicus members)

[DarkLink]

"Season 3,402 of the Bachelor: featuring Kaldor Draigo and Slaanesh's seven handmaidens".

[Da Gargoyle]

I am actually nicking this from a t-shirt and paraphrasing.

Join the Marines
Travel the universe
Meet lots of interesting creatures
AND KILL THEM

or how about

Sons of Vulcan
You make em we bake em

and one I quoted on another post

If you only meet him once a life time
It's Abbadon

[I NoSe]

No one expects the Emperor's Inquisition!

[eldargal]

I travelled the labyrinthine passages of the Webway,
I entered the forbidden realms of the Black Library,
I braved the ferocious Guardians of forbidden knowledge
I gazed into the greatest repository of Chaotic lore in the universe
...and all I got was this lousy t-shirt.

[Fellend]

Does this gun make me look fat?

[Docmani]

My assault range is 12"

I wound on a 2+

[Skragger]

Image on shirt: A space marine standing outside an outhouse
Quote on shirt: "Defending the Golden Throne"

*

T-shirt that says "Flak Armour"

[gcsmith]

'This T-shirt was made in a guatamalon Slave shop. Stupid Adeptus Mechanicus Labour!'

[Eusebius Rex]

I'd like to see a version of the "keep calm and carry on" shirt with an Arbites symbol on it.

[Hive Mind]

Chimera driver's t-shirt; "My Other Tank Is A Baneblade"

[gcsmith]

On the front ' You cannot serve both the Emperor and The Chaos Pantheon'
On the back 'By order of the Inquisition, the wearer of this shirt chose poorley'.

[Duke]

Imperal guard shirt that says "I'm with stupid," and an arrow to his head.

Duke

[Hive Mind]

"Doom Sirens; Coming In Your Ears".

"Worship Slaanesh; You Come First"

Probably only make sense if you've seen Phoenix Nights.

[Astral Platypus]

A picture of a melta gun with the text "this is why I'm hot"

[UltramarineFan]

My assault range is 12"

I wound on a 2+

Laughed. Out. Loud. :D

[Hive Mind]

SoB t-shirt - You Gotta Have Faith

[wittdooley]

A picture of a melta gun with the text "this is why I'm hot"

I will pay for a good version of this shirt.

[SotonShades]

http://i320.photobucket.com/albums/nn326/Sanguiluna/drive-me-closer.jpg

I know, I know... but I want it anyway.



"WAAAAaaaaGGHH!!"

[Turner]

"5+ Armour Save"

[Turner]

WS 3
BS 3
S 3
T 3
W 1
I 3
A 1
LD 7
Sv 5+

[Turner]

"I'm a 4 wound model"

Or

"I Ignore Armour Saves"

[gwensdad]

Imperal guard shirt that says "I'm with stupid," and an arrow to his head.

Duke

That was an actual shirt on "Glee" tonight.

There was also what could be a Slaanesh version. "I'm with stupid" with the arrow pointed at the crotch.

(what, yes I watched it-shutup)

[gwensdad]

"Imperator Proxy"

"I have miniatures older than you are" <--I've said this to opponents before.

[Lane]

"I have miniatures older than you are" <--I've said this to opponents before.

I've taken one mini off the table and said my army is older than you.


how about: "I have a case of Epic Squats"

[Daemonette666]

How about : The world is Chaotic, so why not join the party. Slaanesh welcomes you with open arms.

For the image have Daemonettes jumping and tumbling like acrobats in a battle scene aginst guardsmen.

[Hive Mind]

You could just modify Chuck Norris 'jokes'...

Superman Wears Mephiston Pyjamas

Logan Grimnar Does Not Break Wind; He Destroys It

Ezekiel Can Divide By Zero

It Took Three Women Five Days To Give Birth To Commissar Yarrick

Dante Can Slam A Revolving Door

[Hive Mind]

Exterminatus; **** Happens

[gcsmith]

All quiet on the western front, Yet im here on the eastern fringe. :P

[Hive Mind]

Then there's the Twilight parodies. Team Dante for the vampire fans and Team Grimnar for the werewolves... "Blood Angels Don't Sparkle"

The Imperium; Fascism A Fortiori

He's Not The Emperor; He's a Very Naughty Boy

The Emperor? Well I didn't Vote For Him

Adeptus Astartes; See The Violence Inherent In The System

Front - pic of the Templars' Holy Orb of Antioch
Back - And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy."

or

Front - pic of the Templars' Holy Orb of Antioch
Back - "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.

[Hive Mind]

Tyran; An Ugly Planet. A Bug Planet

Got Biomass?

Born; Kill; Die. A Bug's Life

Space Wolves Do It In The Snow

Scouts Do It Behind Enemy Lines

etc etc. There are hundreds of variations on this theme.

[Demonus]

Picture of a Plasma Gun

Text: "Caution, Gets Hot"

___

Picture of a Jokero

Text: We have Monkeys with Lascannon Rings, your argument is invalid"

Back of Tshirt

Grey Knights Symbol

Small Text: Grey Knights, Proudly serving Chaos since 2011

[Lane]

Picture of a Tyranid: caption "Cure for the common Squat"

[Astral Platypus]

Show a picture of a Sons Of Malice CSM wearing $5 glasses saying that Khorne, Nurgle, Slaanesh, and Tzeenth are too mainstream.

Sons Of Mailice Marine saying he worships Malice and you've probably never heard of him.

On that same theme: Lorgar wearing glasses saying he worshipped the Emperor before it was so mainstream.

[HsojVvad]

Go into a Games Workshop with a shirt of the old Battletech Cover with the Macross Warhammer with the caption "This is a REAL WARHAMMER" or "Here is your Warhammer" :p

[JxKxR]

A picture of a die that has landed on 1 with a caption saying "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"

[Wozzle]

XT-002 Deconstructor in a crumpled heap with a Deff Dread standing over it.


Caption: "I fink I broke it"

[Demonus]

"Land Raider's Rears Can't Be Fisted."

LMAO. Found this on the "teach me a rule" thread. Epic t shirt.
_____________________________

Assaults on a tank always hit rear armour.

Tank rear armour is often low; 10 or 11.

This is why players use Space Marine Sergeants who love their power fists; fisting the rear of a tank is the easiest way to pop it open.
The highest rear armour is 14, and it's usually only encountered on Land Raiders.

This is why people hate Land Raiders. Land Raiders' rears can't be fisted.
Necron Monoliths also have rear armour 14, but you don't see them as often.