View Full Version : So you wake up and the Emperor is on the Throne, what do you do?
Renegade
03-23-2011, 06:32 AM
So you wake up and look out the window to see Arbites walking by. On a bit of further all your stuff and anyone you live with is with you. You have landed in the grim darkness... What do you do?
eldargal
03-23-2011, 06:37 AM
Well, as an Eldar I would watch as the Arbites briefly wonder how the hell they got on a Craftworld before they get slaughtered by the local neighbourhodo watch Striking Scorpions. Then I would go back to bed with my Banshee bodyguards.;)
Brass Scorpion
03-23-2011, 06:37 AM
So you wake up and the Emperor is on the Throne, what do you do? Politely pass him a bog roll, he'll be quite a mess and need extra tissue after a long, 10,000 year "session" on the "throne."
Renegade
03-23-2011, 06:47 AM
Lol! Ok... should have guessed I'd get these kind of answers.
Skragger
03-23-2011, 06:48 AM
Politely pass him a bog roll, he'll be quite a mess and need extra tissue after a long, 10,000 year "session" on the "throne."
Knock politely and ask him to "please turn the fan on, I can smell it from here"?
Defenestratus
03-23-2011, 07:16 AM
I'd hand him a plunger and say ....
"Dumb low water flush toilets STILL suck in the 41st millennium"
Grailkeeper
03-23-2011, 07:59 AM
Ask why have I woken up on this throne?
dethangel
03-23-2011, 08:42 AM
send the kids to Imperial naval academy. join the inquisition and find the heretics then burn them. all. inact exterminatus on every(hostile or not) xeno world i come accross.
Wolfshade
03-23-2011, 09:22 AM
Wonder why the Emperor with his foresight only installed one bathroom in the imperial palace
Wonder why the Emperor with his foresight only installed one bathroom in the imperial palace
Just the palace? Why do you think so many people make pilgrimages to Terra? That's one long line.
Skragger
03-23-2011, 09:32 AM
It just cause he's went in there with the Silmarillion about a milennia ago, and doesn't want to come out till he finishes it... struuggglleeee
Drew da Destroya
03-23-2011, 10:15 AM
It just cause he's went in there with the Silmarillion about a milennia ago, and doesn't want to come out till he finishes it... struuggglleeee
Nerd-point to you, sir.
Clearly, I'd gather da boyz and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
:D Green iz best!
Skragger
03-23-2011, 10:17 AM
Nerd-point to you, sir.
Clearly, I'd gather da boyz and WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
:D Green iz best!
WAAAAGH is the sound the emperor is making trying to push!
(And yes, green IS best! Fear my deadly plantmen!)
MaltonNecromancer
03-23-2011, 10:33 AM
If the question is literally: "One day you wake up in the 40K universe; what do you do?"
Well, firstly have some way of killing myself very quickly - with my personal beliefs, if/when the Inquisition got their hands on me, I'd not want to go to The Room Where There Is No Darkness. No thank you.
Then, go about my day. At a basic level, 40K's universe is about as bad as a particularly unpleasant 3rd world dictatorship, so it'd be a bit like living under Mugabe or Qaddafi. I'd do in 40K what I'd do in any country run by a fascist regime: keep my head down, and whenever I saw a corpse in the street, think "Rather you than me".
There are several things that would influence my reaction.
Do I have a history in this new reality?
Do I have any of the common knowledge of the time/ place?
Do I speak the language?
If all of the above I would just carry on daily life, go to work, not attract attention.
If I knew I was in the 41 millennium but had none of the knowledge to survive, money, etc then I wold turn myself in. I would hope that I could at least communicate though. It would be a risk but I suspect that the best chance to survive would to turn myself into the Inquisition. Anything else would tend to alarm superstitions locals who might act out of fear, or attract the Inquisition anyway. Hiding my existence from them would be proof of guilt.
By turning myself in might get me killed but it could also get me protection and time to adjust to local customs. Best case would be to get a position working for the Inquisition. Working with the Mechanicus would be another option. I have a fair selection of math/ science/ engineering text books that might be of interest to them. The right inquisitor might know how to contact ad-mech that would be willing to learn and innovate rather than rely on ritual.
Rissan4ever
03-23-2011, 10:47 AM
So you wake up and look out the window to see Arbites walking by. On a bit of further all your stuff and anyone you live with is with you. You have landed in the grim darkness... What do you do?
I'd call The Doctor and ask him to get the TARDIS fixed so we can get the hell out of here!
Necron2.0
03-23-2011, 11:10 AM
Pledge my immortal soul to blood, fire and red ruin!!
Bwa-hah!! Bwahaaah-haaaah-haaaaaah!!
And then I'd have some tea ... and maybe a scone.
Skragger
03-23-2011, 11:14 AM
Pledge my immortal soul to blood, fire and red ruin!!
Bwa-hah!! Bwahaaah-haaaah-haaaaaah!!
And then I'd have some tea ... and maybe a scone.
wow.. geeze.. now my suggestions seem.. weak... :(
fuzzbuket
03-23-2011, 11:44 AM
find the closest slanesshi cult :P
seriously: join the greater good and ask nicely for a battlesuit!
(or maby become a speesh mahhreen!)
Renegade
03-23-2011, 12:24 PM
If the question is literally: "One day you wake up in the 40K universe; what do you do?"
Well, firstly have some way of killing myself very quickly - with my personal beliefs, if/when the Inquisition got their hands on me, I'd not want to go to The Room Where There Is No Darkness. No thank you.
Then, go about my day. At a basic level, 40K's universe is about as bad as a particularly unpleasant 3rd world dictatorship, so it'd be a bit like living under Mugabe or Qaddafi. I'd do in 40K what I'd do in any country run by a fascist regime: keep my head down, and whenever I saw a corpse in the street, think "Rather you than me".
Finally some one took it seriously... you only have what you have in you place of residence now... if no way to top yourself quick now, then none in this scenario, sorry, it could well be that room for you.
There are several things that would influence my reaction.
Do I have a history in this new reality?
Do I have any of the common knowledge of the time/ place?
Do I speak the language?
If all of the above I would just carry on daily life, go to work, not attract attention.
If I knew I was in the 41 millennium but had none of the knowledge to survive, money, etc then I wold turn myself in. I would hope that I could at least communicate though. It would be a risk but I suspect that the best chance to survive would to turn myself into the Inquisition. Anything else would tend to alarm superstitions locals who might act out of fear, or attract the Inquisition anyway. Hiding my existence from them would be proof of guilt.
By turning myself in might get me killed but it could also get me protection and time to adjust to local customs. Best case would be to get a position working for the Inquisition. Working with the Mechanicus would be another option. I have a fair selection of math/ science/ engineering text books that might be of interest to them. The right inquisitor might know how to contact ad-mech that would be willing to learn and innovate rather than rely on ritual.
Nice... as above, so what armies do you collect, and how much incriminating evidence could there be of you being a Chaos Cultist or Xeno spy? Just think what the factions could do with the info in your rule book and BL collections... some of that stuff may not have happened, or only just happening/ending.
The =][= would be a waste IMO, ad-mech could be interesting... I wonder how far my place would be from IF fortress?
As you all were... the funny stuff is great!
gcsmith
03-23-2011, 12:38 PM
I would realise that im probably gonna be killed by anyone other than valieria who might appreciate my knowlege so try and contact the eldar who would understand my situation, and try and join them in peace.
dethangel
03-23-2011, 12:45 PM
NObody can stop the spanish inquisition!!!! ummm i mean the =][= imperial inquisition.!.! yaahh...:D
if you cant beat them. join them...:cool:
Drew da Destroya
03-23-2011, 12:46 PM
I'd call The Doctor and ask him to get the TARDIS fixed so we can get the hell out of here!
Yes! And hopefully Amy's the companion at the time... although Rose or Martha would be fine, too. I just like redheads more.
Well, since in this existence I'm an Eagle Scout, I could try to join the Ecclesiarchy. It's well known that Boy Scouts are pyros!
However, they'd quickly find my collection of Orks and DE, and I'd be turned in to the Ordos Xenos for some rather unpleasant "questioning". Then I guess I could live out my days as a toilet-scrubbing servitor.
Rissan4ever
03-23-2011, 02:17 PM
Yes! And hopefully Amy's the companion at the time... although Rose or Martha would be fine, too. I just like redheads more.
Well, since in this existence I'm an Eagle Scout, I could try to join the Ecclesiarchy. It's well known that Boy Scouts are pyros!
However, they'd quickly find my collection of Orks and DE, and I'd be turned in to the Ordos Xenos for some rather unpleasant "questioning". Then I guess I could live out my days as a toilet-scrubbing servitor.
Mmm... Rose...
Nice... as above, so what armies do you collect, and how much incriminating evidence could there be of you being a Chaos Cultist or Xeno spy? Just think what the factions could do with the info in your rule book and BL collections... some of that stuff may not have happened, or only just happening/ending.
Armies - All of the Imperial factions except for BA, SW and BT. Xenos I have Eldar, a couple Daemon models, a few Chaos troops, small force of Tyranids, just a few Orks, one Kroot, One Necron, one Tua Etherial (converting into parody of that guy living in the White House), Some Epic Squats.
Books - some BL novels, about half the current and most previous edition Codex, 40k roleplaying books.
Some of the "other material" might incriminate me but I could always claim it was from before the birth of Slaanesh.
I think I would have more risk of being branded a Tech Heretic given the selection of machines, electronic components and reference materials without being a member of the machine cult.
MaltonNecromancer
03-23-2011, 02:58 PM
you only have what you have in you place of residence now... if no way to top yourself quick now, then none in this scenario, sorry, it could well be that room for you.
Hmmm. Bite my own tongue off then; slow and painful, but still better than torture. Prefer not to do that, so it's stealth and hiding for me. Fit right in with lots of salutes and "Yes sir, I love the Emperor, sir." all round.
Hmmm. Bite my own tongue off then; slow and painful, but still better than torture.
What, no kitchen knives, no cleaning products. no plastic bags, No power cords? There's always death by cop.
alx_152
03-24-2011, 01:05 AM
So you wake up and look out the window to see Arbites walking by. On a bit of further all your stuff and anyone you live with is with you. You have landed in the grim darkness... What do you do?
Hope it is a nightmare and go back to sleep.
If it is not a nightmare but reality, try to keep a low profile as possible and leave Earth in search of a place with less or no Imperial Control.
With my beliefs I'll probably be executed as a heretic.
SotonShades
03-24-2011, 04:01 AM
I think find the nearest Imperial Guard sign-up post and get in with a fake name if I could. The odds of the powersupply for any of my electronics being compatible with those of the 41st millenium are fairly slim, and I'm fairly sure my broadband wouldn't work either.
I'd also probably be tempted to burn the contents of my flat. With all the Ork models, Xenos coedicies and infor in the rulebooks and wall of novels I'd probably be burned as a heretic. Assuming any of it is accurate to the 'real' 40k universe, at least any knowledge I might have could potentially be useful in the Guard (well, the fluff at least...). Might keep a selection of my nicer Imperial models with me and say they are childhood toys that I keep as little reminders of how good the Emporer has been to me, or some such bull...
Farseer Uthiliesh
03-24-2011, 04:41 AM
I'd get into the webway as quickly as possible. I read somewhere that there's a gate to the webway in the throneroom. Either I get accepted by the Eldar (Ulthwe), or I'd try to find a C'tan and pledge my allegiance to the Necrons in the hope of having my mind uploaded into a new living-metal body.
HsojVvad
03-24-2011, 05:56 AM
Well, as an Eldar I would watch as the Arbites briefly wonder how the hell they got on a Craftworld before they get slaughtered by the local neighbourhodo watch Striking Scorpions. Then I would go back to bed with my Banshee bodyguards.;)
Oh wait, may not be appropriate, so better edit what I said.
Albavar
03-24-2011, 05:59 AM
First I wonder how the Emperor got into my house, then I ask him if he's going to be long because I've got to pee...:rolleyes:
Oh wait, may not be appropriate, so better edit what I said.
I think she meant "go back to bed" knowing that her bodyguard would watch over her.
Although the literal version could make an interesting video.
eldargal
03-24-2011, 09:35 AM
Well, yes, but I was deliberately ambiguous for humorous effect.;)
I think she meant "go back to bed" knowing that her bodyguard would watch over her.
Although the literal version could make an interesting video.
MaltonNecromancer
03-24-2011, 10:38 AM
There's always death by cop.
Not really as easy/common in the UK, so I didn't think of it. It's also a bit of a selfish way to go. I wouldn't want to leave some poor girl/guy just doing their job with a headful of nightmares about the man they killed just because I was too much of a coward to do it myself.
Plus, what if they take me alive? It's off the the Inquisiton, or worse.
Bottom line, I'd learn to keep a much lower profile than I currently do.
I was deliberately ambiguous for humorous effect.;)
I wouldn't say that specifying an all female aspect was "ambiguous".
Not that I would want to go to bed with any Eldar wearing their war mask. It would however make a great excuse. "I promised you what?" "I would never expect you to try that, I respect you too much." honestly I don't remember any of that, I was wearing my war mask, You know I'm not responsible for action when wearing my war mask.
scadugenga
03-24-2011, 08:22 PM
I wonder why in the hell didn't I take the blue pill...
And then promptly join my fellow autarchs in a morning training session, followed by a light brunch.
scadugenga
03-24-2011, 08:23 PM
Well, yes, but I was deliberately ambiguous
More defining words were ne'er spoken?
;)
I believe there's a popular saying fro times like these:
When life gives you lemons, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!
Beta_Ray_Bill
03-26-2011, 02:47 PM
It just cause he's went in there with the Silmarillion about a milennia ago, and doesn't want to come out till he finishes it... struuggglleeee
L O FING L. But all the joking aside... (Of course my opinion is biased, I play sm!)
Recognize the Black Templars(with Sister support) for their overzealous dedication and order the extermination of the Tau, by ALL Members of the chapter.
I mean seriously, the single largest chapter of the astartes to destroy one of their top enemies... and if there was one enemy that +5000 space marines could eradicate, it would be the tau. Especially considering that the plot hasn't really advanced, and the numbers just scream in the Imperium's favor. (But like I said, this is a biased opinion) Does anyone see why not? Just curious :D
eldargal
03-26-2011, 05:47 PM
Well, the Imperium could crush the Tau if it wanted*, but the resources are better used elsewhere. Why divert 5000 Marines to crushing a minor Empire that poses onl a small expansionist threat to the Imperium when you could use those Marines to stymie Ork Waaghs, Chaos Incurions, Tyranid Hive Fleets etcetera. The same goes for the Eldar. Why is a Craftworld allowed to float around nearish to Terra? Because diverting a whole sector fleet to attemptto destroy it would reduce the Imperiums capacity to fight more urgent threats elsewhere.:)
*Through sheer weight of numbers, and the cost would be vast, hence the cost-benefits thing.
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